Why Should We, As Men , Suppress Our Emotions?

in life •  3 years ago  (edited)

Why Should We As Men Suppress Our Emotions?

Our entire lives as boys, whether its by our parents, Hollywood or society, we are taught that showing our emotions is a form of weakness. In school those who show negative emotions like sadness or depression are picked on and forced to either conform or subject themselves to further bullying.We end up growing up into emotionless men who cant share anything on personal levels out of fear of being perceived differently. As human beings suppressing our emotions we are not only forcing ourselves to life in pain, but we are losing out on the types of close human relationships that make life worth living.

Women often talk about how hard it is being a woman today in the developed world, but often write off men’s problems as unimportant. Im not saying to disregard problems of the modern woman, but that we need to acknowledge the notion that men should always be strong and unemotional backbones of a relationship. Friend relationships with men are often very different than women’s relationships with each other. As a man we don’t have the emotional support line that women usually do and if things bother us we keep them inside, eating away at us. Even if we have friends who are semi open to discussing our emotional troubles, there is always a line that can not be crossed.

There is always an emotion limit between men that its hard to find other men who understand and are willing to support and help you past. There is a reason why men have a substantially higher suicide rate, in my opinion it comes from holding in our emotions ,with no one to talk to about them , until they eat away at us past the point we can bare. Not to mention in today’s society many men feel disposable . Government provided support options available to men is abysmal compared to what women are offered. Many shelters for the homeless and beaten are only available to women. Like I said in the beginning I this isn’t meant to devalue the problems of women in any way, just to bring awareness to the problems of men that no one seems to want to bring up.

Primly, there was a use to suppressing emotions and acting as a strong backbone in society , as we were meant to be the tribal leaders and put everyone above ourselves. However, in a more modern era, this no longer needs to be the case. As situations like women becoming the breadwinners, providing for their family and stay at home fathers becoming less taboo, the benefits of suppressing our emotions are near zero. So why as a society are we upkeeping this ideology? There definitely have been many changes in the last few decades, but we still aren’t at the point we need to be. Do we honestly want to teach our children that holding in our emotions when they hurt is the right thing to do? We already have a massive problem with mental health in the United States and teaching our children at a young age that expressing themselves emotionally and talking about what they are feeling is a step in the right direction to a healthier society.

As Human beings we all have emotional needs that need to be cared for, even the most “manly” men you know, cry and hurt at times, but cant admit it.By collectively suppressing our emotions to put up a façade is only doing ourselves an injustice.Its okay to cry and rely on other people for support from time to time. No one should think lower of you for seeking out help from your closest companions when you need it most. This is no need to keep our feelings bottled up and we need to let our friends they can open up as well if they need to. Lets not continue living in pain if such a simple solution is available to each of us. This isn’t just another gender issue that doesn’t have much impact, this is our lives and we should make them as happy as possible. If you are in pain, reach out to someone, whether it be a therapist, a friend or even your parents. There is no shame in reaching out for help as a man and no one will see you as weak.


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Being emotional can indeed by unpleasant, or uncomfortable but suppression does not help, but only make it worse.
We need to as a species men and woman alike get more in touch with our emotions and support a more honest and vulnerable support system.
If everyone grew up where it was ok to express honestly and had healthy support to process emotions we as a society would be much happier in every way.
Thanks for the post~*~

I agree with you too on the matter @quinneaker and to be onest I dont know what is the right amount of feelings
I meant to have them too much and over-express it or to not have them and stay still like a piece of wood.
But maybe during evolution we will find the rigt amount to it.

Feel whatever feelings you have, be honest and express those feelings. Anyone who gets upset about it is an ass.
It is important to be responsible for your feelings. It is not honorable to be an emotional wreck and EXPECT others to take care of you. Though if you cannot be honest and emotional and have someone take care for you then thy are not anybody to respect or build any kind of relationship with.

What you say is true, but it still is a family foundation issue not a society issue in my opinion.

Placing the responsibility on society is just another way to foster dependence on others.

For the extreme circumstances, I believe the US offers an already immense availability of help a person would need.

I never said society should carry the burden for anyone for anything let alone emotional baggage.
All I said is that the world would be better and people would be happier if there was more authenticity, and more care.
I can tell you I get more ladies attracted to me than anyone I know. I am an extremely confidant guy and am as well balanced, with little emotional baggage as your gonna find.
SO it would be very easy for me to say be as cool as me or your a looser. Yet instead I say life is rough, the world is fucked and emotional trauma is normal and I am here to help evolve and learn so as to become a healthy and honest emotional being.
Feelings are important, communication is important and evolution is important. All things humanity is severely lacking.

I suppress my feelings too much.
Up voted and your up voting my contents will be appreciated.
Thanks and good day!

Be Free Always, All Ways!

I have lived both sides in society because I am transgender and let me tell you something...it's not true that women suffer more than men though they do get more attention to their issues. I thought I would speak of the struggle of women to other people upon transitioning, but knowing what I know now after having experienced some of it for myself I find it more urgent to address the problems of men specifically because they are very hard to see for the untrained eye. I know what it is like to live in a 3rd world country as a woman and if I could I would choose that over the same country as a man, seriously, this is really bad. I get criticized a lot because people tend to think that if I am speaking pro-men I am speaing against women, which makes no sense at all.

This is much of the reason why I am here on steemit, I am one of the few people who can actually draw a comparison.

Excellent article!

If you don't compain then you are cold and insensitive, if you complain verbally you are a pussy and need to man up, and if you complain physically then you are aggresive and possibly violent. There is no win!

Your post sound very reasonable and logical and I agree with you. But nature doesn't work this way. Just look at the animal kingdom. We are just one species of animals from nature point of view. And looks like old fashion way is more successful right now. Population in so called developed countries is shrinking. But hey I'm not expert in this area, just my humble opinion.

I was going to bring up what you are talking about but I didn't.

Essentially we are mammals and like it or not "natural selection" and "survival of the fittest" applies being genetically wired that way, agree or disagree.

Because emotions cloud up the ability to process information correctly and hinders our ability to use logic reason.
I would say as humans it is good to suppress emotions not just men.
Trying to make it a male/female thing is just gender baiting bullshit.

Personally, I live by the saying "grow a pair of balls man."

I am an action kind of person not a waste my damn time crying about stuff. Do something about it instead.

And I promise you I wasn't "taught" to believe this way as my father's family are some of the most emotional people I have ever seen. They cry at every single family gathering we have ever had for some reason or other .. happy or sad times.

I wholeheartedly disagree. Being someone of action is a good thing, but there are times in everyone's life where they could use the emotional support of another human being.

Or as an individual you can take on your own responsibility for you own happiness, stability, and emotional well-being?

I would suggest a person actually learn from an early age that no one looks out for "you" except "yourself" at least not on the same level.

And of course people need or want emotional support, but don't you think that a solid family foundation should take care of that need? Why should "society" be responsible?

I enjoyed your post @calaber24p, but I do tend to lean more towards this comment by @fat-like-buddha. I tend to be a pretty emotional guy, under certain circumstances, but my opinion is that this is my own burden to bear. I've cried plenty in my life, but I've never felt that society should somehow be more accepting of my emotion. I can man up and get over it and grow a pair of balls, and I can also have my emotional vents in my own private time when I feel comfortable. It's a tricky balance, and society is definitely changing it's attitude, but I guess I just lean a bit more towards the old school "be a man, deal with it" mentality.

Just another point I want to make.

How many woman are attracted to a man who is an emotional sap looking for acceptance from society vs. a confident man who takes charge or their life?

Good point. The big influence have money to.

But as a man I don't think we should cater ourselves to attract the opposite sex. By being happy confident people that will come naturally. Women who can't respect that we have emotional needs just like them arent the type I want to be with.

More woman are attracted to me than anyone I know. Yes its because I am confident and making my own way. I do not depend on anybody for anything let alone society for emotional outlets.
Yet I will say this. Being honest with ones feelings is an essential part of a full life. I have achieved the "perfect" balance of being honest with my feelings but owning them in responsibility.
Yet I also say that its important to have compassion and care for others. I don't know anyone who has their shit together as much as I so I take it upon my self to care for others who have not yet mastered them selfs.
We need a lot more of this. I don't allow people to be responsible or leaches. Yet I support people in being honest with their baggage and actually helping them work through it. You cannot evolve or work though stuff without expressing it.
The whole man up things is more dysfunctional than it is functional

Great post @calaber24p ! Lots of people dissapointed me but lets say I kept my chin up and try to learn from my mistakes .
But even so that I did not reach to other people for help I agree with you on the matter .
Some problems you just canot fix alone!

in my opinion, most of men hold the role of responsibility, offering the shoulder to be laid on for the people they protect. they dont want to show their weak side to keep those people trust. then slowly it become their personality to "never cry just fight it". but for boys id say its all about pride

Suppressing this energy in motion creates an immense amount of weight on the body. We must recognize our emotions, understand them, accept, and forgive. This such an important message, especially for men, thanks for sharing!

So much yes to this.

I agree with you completely. Men need support of other men. Men need tribes, men they can rely on.

So often it happens that man breaks up and with that break-up he also loses the only emotional support in his life. Of course it's damn hard to deal with it like that. You just lost your best buddy and someone you opened up to. So it's okay to cry, it's okay to be sad and feel pain.
But if you have no one you can tell it to... That hurts even more ....

I bet many men can relate to this.

I myself am going through a similar point in life where I feel like I'm losing all the people that were close to me.
Though I am lucky enough to have at least one man I can talk to and reach out to.
Even if before I talk to him I manage to deal with the biggest hurdles on my own, but just the thought that I can reach out to him, and I did at the times when it was hard offered a help. Withoout him actually needing to even reply.

Just knowing there is a rope you can grab on gives you strength.

Though I am all for vulnerability and showing your emotions, I am also a proponent of Stoicism, as it made me really resilient.

I even wrote a post about it.
Suffering is Good - How Homelessness, Stoicism and Minimalism keeps me happy and steady as a rock

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Don't suppress. Accept and move on. 😄