A Path to Being #9: Stop Thinking About the Past & Worrying About the Future!
Have you ever drifted off to somewhere back in time or to a thought regarding the future? Has your mind kept bringing you back to the same thought or event, replaying over and over again like on old record stuck on a portion of a song? Or does it move around like a flight of ideas that flash in your mind like a fireworks show? When you try to refocus on what’s at hand, does your mind pull you back to that same old event that happened so long ago? Do you dwell on this and relive the uncomfortable event like it was today? Does it cause anxiety or sadness?
we end up reeling and staggering through life.
Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.”
– Pam W. Vredevelt
Even when you try your hardest, sometimes it is hard to let go of these traumatic or unpleasant events. You try to stay present but even when you watch T.V., read a book, work on a project, or cook, without intending to do so, your mind brings you right back to where you didn’t want to be. Trying to let go of the past or stop worrying about the future is very hard, but in order to be able to be present in the now, you have to make the effort.
People ask, so how can I forget the past? Well first and foremost, you need to express your feelings about the past event that bothers you. If you don’t, that past event will continue to build up in your mind, causing more and more focus on it. It’s like a wound that you ignore until it festers into greater pain. Then all your attention is on that one thing and that is not living. Talk to a friend, family member or a counselor. Just let it out so you can move on.
There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday.
It is not yours to judge.
Why hold on to the very thing
which keeps you from hope and love?”
– Leo Buscaglia
Another method is writing down what you feel about the event/past. Write a letter to the person who caused your pain but don’t send it. Just write it to release all that pent up anger, hurt, stress that you felt. Some people burn the letter symbolically to release the memory. Some people write in a journal which also helps to release the inner feelings that affect them. I can attest to the fact that writing does help tremendously. That is why I am writing posts in Steemit. It has given me a wonderful, therapeutic outlet so that I can eventually reach a better level of peace.
to forgive.
Forgive everybody."
—Maya Angelou
In order to be able to move on and stop the blaming that occurs when hurt, you have to learn to forgive. It is not saying that the person was right in doing what he/she did, it is just allowing yourself to say, you don’t impact me anymore. I forgive you so I can move on and enjoy life. You don’t matter but I do. You do it for yourself, not for them. Release the pain and just start focusing on the now so you can be happy and fully complete. You deserve it!
Another method people use to release the past is to turn your focus on what makes you happy in your current life. Start appreciating what you have, whether it be family, a loving friend, your health, the great outdoors, being able to breath, being able to experience new adventures. By switching to the now and the positive, your brain will eventually lessen its focus on what brings you down. It is really worth your effort to be happy and enjoying life.
is to learn to let go.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
There have been studies that have shown, that by envisioning yourself pushing the worry that has blocked you from enjoying life behind a door and locking it, can help you to move past it. But sometimes you have to keep making that conscious effort until that blockage no longer stands in your way to living and moving forward.
—Confucius
Worry about the future can also be as damaging as being stuck on past memories. Often times we worry about retirement, health concerns, having enough money, getting married, getting old, job security, wrinkles, being a good parent, etc., etc., etc. In fact we worry about worrying too much and that is a worry! Our capacity to worry so much makes it virtually impossible to even focus on the now. So stop worrying and start living.
We all have to learn that worrying is a very negative characteristic to have. I know how hard it is to not worry but we need to understand some very important truths…..We can’t predict what will happen in the future. We don’t really know what will happen, no one does. Some things we worry about probably won’t even occur. So why put so much anxiety and energy into this?
– Leo F. Buscaglia
Another truth is we can’t control the future. There are so many factors that can change an outcome like a chance or random occurrence, and then there is luck too. So why fret about something that is out of our hands? It really is a waste of your energy and time. And the cost can be detrimental.
A third truth is that fretting about the future takes away focus on the now. You are probably missing out on some of the best times of your life and won’t even know it because you are not focused on it. That is such a waste of a good life experience which should be experienced fully. Why go to a movie if you spend your attention on something else. Why go to a sports event if all you can think about is the past. It doesn’t make sense, does it?
it gives you something to do
but never gets you anywhere”
– Erma Bombeck
Finally, a fourth truth is that sometimes we fret so much, that we focus on the worst case scenario. Usually these situations are not as bad as we make it out to be and although bad, we can usually dig deep and survive it all. I’ve been through some pretty extreme hardships but in retrospect I survived it and have become stronger. In fact, with my new mantra, “we always learn something new from bad situations and become better for it”, has really helped to put things into a greater perspective for me. Life can be hard and difficult, but we always learn to be deeper and better because it is. We become real!
So we all have to really try hard to put the past into the past and the future into the future. We really have to accept the fact that the only things we can really do something about is in the NOW. Enjoy living a fully experienced life, enjoy tasting the great food, enjoy feeling the cool breezes on your face and the warmth of the sun, enjoy hearing the sounds of the ocean waves or the running water in a nearby river, enjoy the smells of the flowers around you or the hardiness of fresh earth, see what is in front of you and behind you, see the smiling faces of happy people. Do everything in order to fully live, to fully cherish, to fully embrace, all the things you have been fortunate to have. Don’t miss a minute of being fully alive!
I appreciate your visit and look forward to working with you on Steemit. May your week ahead be stress free and happy!
All pictures in this post came from https://pixabay.com
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This is so true and so important. Very much like the mindfulness techniques. "a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique."
I deal with some very physically painful health issues. I found myself drifting into depression and anxiety. It is a vicious circle, the pain makes you depressed and the depression makes your pain worse. It took a long time but I am finally able to stay pretty much in the present moment. I acknowledge my pain but I don't feed it. And now that I have turned off all that mind babble I am more happy than I have ever been despite the health hurdles. Thanks for a great post. I love the picture. I have a place I go to and stack rocks in the stream when I need to get away.
I understand what you are going through. I am able to write because I've walked every path that one can imagine. There was a time when I was getting panic attacks and gradually was getting so disabled that I had to reach rock bottom in order to get angry and determined enough to pull myself up again. It took many ups and downs and inner strength to get to the point where I feel more whole than I ever have been. I know you will too because you have too much to offer to this world not to. I encourage you to take a journey of writing what you have been through. It will help you to channel your inner emotions into something that will help others. And I definitely feel it will make you broaden your connection to inner peace and being.
Please tap into yourself and express all the pain and suffering into your writing. It really will help others who are suffering like we did. It will be a very cathartic experience. I wish you strength, courage and determination. It sounds like you are on the right path!
Thank-you for you wonderful comments. I really took it to heart. Also thank you for your support. You made me feel good about writing this post. Please continue your road to total being. I know you can do it! :D .... Cabbagepatch
thanks I actually did a three part write up on this as one of my first posts. A mistake to do it so early. I will be doing it again now that I have more people engaging. Thanks for the reminder though. I was surprised that there was only one other person in the tag #chronicpain as I hoped to reach others suffering with pain. But tag or no tag im doing it again!
Unfortunately it is all a matter of timing. You should re-post because I'm sure your information would be very helpful to others. I started off with very little interest but I decided I was writing for myself as well. So I went into with no expectations and only looked at it as a means to help express myself. I wish you much success! :D
Very beautiful post. Many methods to release the mind of the nonending clutter of projected past and future events.
I read the whole post and i am surprised not to find the no 1 eastern style method which is just meditation. In an easy way just staying in the now by watching e.g. the breathing and not giving too much attention to all the thoughts coming up, that works so good for me but hopefully not too much for you so that you keep writing these beautiful posts :-)
Thank-you so much for your visit and support. I agree about the meditation as being one of the most important aspects in achieving inner peace. In my previous post I went into meditation and plan to have a special focus on it in the future. I didn't want to be redundant so that is why I focused on more general principles. Thank-you though for your wonderful comment and for your support. It is deeply appreciated. You sound like a very grounded and wise person who knows about spirituality and the healing arts. I wish you a great day ahead! :D
lovely post! I particularly resonate with the sentence:
i really believe in this.. We have to kind of relive our experiences to get over them.. And there are many ways to do it.. Therapy is one,, talking to friends is another.. and as im discovering on Steemit, writing seem to be quite cathartic.
dont worry , be happy! ;-)
Thank-you eco-alex! It is so strange how you meet someone and in that one day, your whole life has changed and for the good. It seems there are so many great people on your train and we are all heading in the right direction. I am thrilled that so many people actually read my article. I want to wish you a very fantastic day and again, thank-you for making that first connection! :D
I got energetic and courage to live on a wonderful post today as well.Cabbagepatch I am impressed with your thought.Thank you:D
Yoshiko I really thank-you for always supporting me and reading my post. I am honored that you get some value from my writings. I have been through many obstacles but have become a wiser and stronger person for it. My goal is to help others. You have helped me by giving me praise and encouragement. Thank-you so much. I am very blessed by your friendship! :D
Wonderful advice, written so personally and persuasively. I like what Mark Twain said about the future: "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
I chose to follow you, to have access to other thought gems you provide.
Your comments have touched my inner being. I really appreciate your words. In fact I am honored that you read my post. I have had a full life of challenging experiences but I really have learned a great deal from all of them. I am on a path to find inner peace and being, so my writing is coming somewhere deep inside me. It has been a very cathartic experience. I thank-you for your support and loving words. Please have a wonderful day ahead. I will because of all the positive energy I get from everyone! :D
Several years ago I realized life is a jigsaw puzzle. Some of the pieces look totally useless, even unattractive. Yet we learn eventually that without those bland or repulsive pieces, we wouldn't have the completed puzzle. So when bad times come along, I just accept those undesirable pieces, knowing they are essential--and will have meaning someday.
That is such a beautiful comment, so profound and true! You should write posts that reflect your inner being. You have such a gift for expressing truisms that most people would love to have. I will follow you because you have shown me such a deep perspective! Thank-you for that gift! Have a very good day! .....Cabbagepatch :D
I treasure your kind compliments!
Reading this post was like breathing in fresh air. Thank you. I'm finding that I need to get offline in order to gain positive focus. It's very difficult given my internet addiction but that's the only way, I find, to start gaining some real perspective (like yes: the whole world does not revolve around me being Liked or not.....)
@healingherb I will always remember your kind and loving invitation to join eco Train. It has brought me so much positive energy and good and kind people. I thank-you for your kind words and support. There is no wrong in wanting to be on the internet. As long as you are focused while you are, you are not wasting your time. They say though that one should take planned time outs to rest your brain in peace and quiet. Our mind is so powerful and when we let it get out of control, we pay the consequences. I'm sure you have a strong inner core and are on the right path. I can tel by how you write your comments. I look forward to reading your posts too. Please have a wonderful and positive day! :D
What a wonderful post, you have made it so incredibly true to life. Forgive and forget I always say. If you do that everything in your life will feel better. Thank you for such an incredible post, will resteem as more people should read this.
My dear friend @bigbear, I will always smile when you write a comment. You bring me joy and a very special warmth to my day. I know you speak from the heart and that is why I really connect to you. I am touched that you enjoyed my post. I have been blessed with so much experience to write what I do. I really want to help others because we all need to be inspired and have a positive outlook. As long as I have friends like you, I will have the drive to keep doing what I do. I thank-you for that! Please have a wonderful day and please thank your daughter for her kind words of support. I am truly grateful! :D
Thank you. It is a wonderful post. Your ideas are good for my life.
Thank-you Kinakomochi. I really am writing to help myself express my inner essence. Writing has been helpful to channel my energies into something positive. Appreciate your support and for your friendship. It is deeply appreciated! :D
Thank you for this post! It made me feel I'm not an alien as sometimes close people tend to see me! I don't worry much about the future. Of course I have ambitions and projects and those are the only ones that make me move forward. I've never felt the need to overthink about the future because it's mind and time consuming. And I only look back to the past to see what I can learn from one or two situations that made me feel uncomfortable. Thank you! Now I feel I'm in the right path! :)
You definitely are not an alien! You are rare and well beyond your years. You are grounded and know where you are going because I sense that you have a deep passion to learn, grow and help. Many people tend to get stuck in the past or worry about the future. They miss out on life. It sounds like you are more present than most so you are already at a higher level of awareness.
I'm very appreciative for your comments which help to justify my passion to share what little I know. Thank-you! I wish you much happiness and growth on your life path! :D
Thank you very much for your words! Much happiness to you to!