What Makes Life Meaningful??
Everyone will have a different answer and there is no one way to live your life. Any answer would be just as valid and it’s up to you how you choose to make your way in the world.
But there are certainly some things that don’t make life meaningful. And there are certainly some things you can do to help you find your own meaning. Let's look at how you can discover meaning in your life and why that is such a powerful and important thing.
Where do you get the meaning from?
When we take a look at our own lives, what can we say makes our life meaningful? There’s a good choice that you will give some of the following answers:
• Career • Family • Friends • Partner • Children • Travel
Very few of us will answer that the thing that gives life meaning is ‘food’ or ‘computer games’. Somehow, our relationships and our careers take on greater importance and the same is true of our travel.
Maslow's Theory
Maslow was a psychologist and according to his theories, our needs can be plotted in a kind of pyramid with the most important at the top and the most urgent down the bottom, which was named the ‘Hierarchy of Needs’.
Our urgent basic needs include our physiological needs such as food, oxygen and perhaps sex, while things become a little more abstract and inspiring as we move nearer the top.
His pyramid starting with least important:
• Physiological needs – food, oxygen, water, sex
• Safety – shelter, health, avoidance of predators/aggressors
• Love/belonging – community, friends, family, partner
• Esteem – self acceptance, self-worth, confidence
• Self actualization
As you see that love and belonging are not near the top but are around the middle. It is as though Maslow is telling us that love is not what gives life meaning. At the end of the day, you can’t rely purely on other people for your sense of happiness, meaning and accomplishment.
This is a recipe for disaster in your relationships. If all your meaning comes from another person and you need them for your sense of self-worth, you might well become possessive, jealous, clingy or otherwise toxic in that relationship.
If your meaning comes from another person and they should leave, your whole world will come crashing down. This leaves you incredibly vulnerable position.
Self Purpose
You get people who have amazing, perfect, happy families and yet they don’t have a sense of purpose of direction. They’re stuck in a rut and they’re unhappy because they don’t have a sense of purpose. This is incredibly common and it’s something that a lot of us have to deal with. This is pretty much where the mid-life-crisis comes from!
Higher on the ladder we have esteem (Respect and Admiration). In order to be happy and fulfilled, to make your life have meaning, you need to discover how to live with yourself and how to like yourself. Otherwise, you will be unhappy in everything you do and you won’t have the tools necessary to take your life to the next step.
Watch my video
On the top of the list we have self-actualization. What is that and why is it the most important here? We will discuss this tomorrow as we go more in depth.
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@bitdollar
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My recent trip to Mexico
I feel like, in today's world, the bottom 3 tiers of Maslow's pyramid which includes:
like you've mentioned, are somewhat easily achievable by a lot of people. At least in developed countries. People don't need to go hunt their foods or collect water from wells in America. Sex is literally everywhere and looks and/or money can get you laid in no time. Gyms are becoming more trendy and people are investing on their health more and more. Friends, partners, and a community, despite fake or real, are prioritized more and more from personal lives to professional lives.
Despite all this though,
this is still missing. It's very rare for people to love themselves. Media and societal expectations have hurt us so much that body acceptance and self-worth has gone out the window. Suicide rates are going up daily. Young kids, especially young girls have expectations to look like they're 20 at age 13. There's very little motivation for these youngsters to be capable of doing something, bringing about a change, and making a name.
Luckily, there's more and more acceptance movement all over social media now which is the bread and butter of tons of people it seems like.
Excited to see what you have to say about Self-Actualization! :)
You are correct about Esteem and think it will be the next evolution for the modern day world. You bring up some great points there about the media and youth. We are becoming more aware of this and thus why I think it will start to improve sooner than later.
Just posted my Self-Actualization blog and curious what you have to say on that one. Thanks so much for this top notch comment @cabernet!
Having a meaning of each other's life can only be achieved the moment people stop looking outside themselves and start manifesting from within. It has been a challenge for me to reprogram my mind on a way that works for me and my being. All your tips are very true and worthy to start this process my friend. Thank you.
I agree so much of our success comes from within. Glad you mentioned that @javybar!! Thank you for sharing this.
Hey @bitdollar, I just finished watching your video. It's so interesting to me that Maslow saw self-actualization as the most important need. I would fully agree. Once we have our foundational needs covered, all we have left is a question... why am I here? What is my purpose? What does this life mean for me? And filling in the answer to that question is, in my opinion, what life is all about!
Great post man. Keep'm coming :)
Totally agree and those are things I’ve been asking myself. I think that is meaning itself to chase those answers that sometimes seem can be never ending. :)
I think it's the little things that are most important.
And time spent with those you care about. Just think- do you remember what you got for your seventh birthday or 11th Christmas? Maybe one thing... But you definitely remember the family vacations you took at any age :)
Yes the small things, in the moment are definitely the ones that count! I can remember all those great family times and they are ingrained in me. The best times for sure. Thanks for this reminder and comment @arbitrarykitten!!
After hearing the importance I place on traveling and spending time together, a Dad told me I should adjust my parenting- kids should realize trips are a special treat for rare occasions not something to be counted on. No. Just no. That is not the attitude I wish to convey.
I would rather take my children on a trip than give them presents they will only outgrow.
Trips are honestly the best times and memories. We hardly remember the gifts but I can always remember the car rides and places we visit. I think that is a fantastic idea!
I cherish the memory of a trip my mom took us on - to go watch the flamingos at a distant lake. (She was an artist and wanted to capture their elegance on paper) - not that this is what what gives meaning to life though!
It was the togetherness and things you did while on vacation that brought the meaning :)
That joy was (and as a recollection still is) indeed part of the fulfillment of meaning, with 'meaning' seen in a perhaps more rational sense ;)
- just my silly obsession with a rational understanding of the way everything in our universe fit together that leads me to express it a little differently!
I totally agree that we should not get our power or meaning of our life from someone else. Even if they are a member of family. We should continue our life path first with ourselves and than we should accept the others to accompy us. We should love ourselves first.
Exactly! This is the only life you know you will have, it is yours, and you must do for you. Never allow anyone to determine your happiness :)
Be blessed <3
Yea I agree and think is the main message here. We must have our own path to be satisfied and contempt within ourselves.
I think what in the end is the only humanly achievable objective that gives meaning to life is what is portrayed in all the great religions as our final objective: the joy of fulfillment of all your needs in heavenly peace.
And the key to overcoming the human weaknesses in the way of obtaining that condition is love - not self love, not the selfish craving of ownership of our beloved ones or our possessions that is confused with true love either, but what the Greeks called 'agape' - an unconditional appreciation of everyone for what they are and of everything for what it is.
I totally agree! I read a book recently that decribes love as a background emotion. I have replaced almost everything with love and life has changed dramatically. I preach love and how important it is. It has so many wonderful properties to it also. Improves intelligence, health, energy, motivation, compassion, see all as one and so much more. I am on the same exact page as you. Thanks for this amazing comment @clicketyclick!
Love it!
bears all things
Believe all things
Hope all things
Love never ends.. the trust no one holds your happiness, you can decide to be happy or sad
Yes it is our choice! Love that @ciocolony!
What gives my life meaning is living my values and beliefs. If all goes well, this will be my legacy.
I wonder if this is along the lines of what you’re going to talk about tomorrow.
Value and beliefs will be what you are remembered from for sure, definitely important. I just posted the Self-Actualization blog now and curious what you think of that. Thanks for sharing this @penston!
Self-worth is definitely the most important.
Only after feeling content with oneself that will we be able to spread the love around and feel even more content!
Yea can’t spread love if you don’t already have it!
What I understood from your article is Maslow theory of needs is just like a food pyramid, but in terms of what people should prioritized, is the other way around. In a food pyramid, we're expected to eat lots of the food located at the bottom of the pyramid while limiting what's at the top of it, while in this pyramid of needs, we are expected to prioritize self actualization which located at the top compared to what's located at the bottom to achieve a meaningful life. But isn't all of the things listed on the pyramid are just as important to achieve a meaningful life? I don't know if I'm going to change my mind after reading your article you want to produce later but now the ideal way of achieving a meaningful life is like a solid rock with the same dimension. What's located on top is just as important as what's located at the bottom. The key to a meaningful life is moderation. Too much prioritization of your physiological needs will abandon your self actualization, while focusing too much on ourselves will cause us to lose in our own world. By the way, this is just my logic, not any kind of knowledge or anything, something that I believe in. I believe moderation is the key to a meaningful life. Tell me if I misunderstood the message you're trying to deliver.
I think he does mean all our important but the others have more purpose to us. I can definitely agree with you on moderation and too much on physiological needs will abandon self actualization. I believe that is mainly what he is saying, we can't forget about those needs at the top of the pyramid as many people sometimes often do.
Great explanation and way of thinking. I am right there with you.