Hello! My name is Carey Wedler, and I make videos about freedom, peace, and all the ways the government and the ruling class it empowers subvert these extraordinary human values. If you know me at all, it’s probably as the girl who blowtorched her Obama shirt a few years back (a YT video pushing 2 million views) or became a “self-hating Jew” for calling out Israel’s crimes against humanity.
But I didn’t always have these opinions. In fact, if you’re ever feeling down about how programmed and mindless much of the population seems to be, I’m here as living proof that even the staunchest indoctrination can unravel.
Rewind to the year 2008. I was standing in the pouring rain at UCLA, waiting in line to see Michelle Obama, Oprah, and Caroline Kennedy speak on behalf of then-candidate Barack. He wasn’t even going to be there, but I stood outside in my rainboots mulling over fantasies of him flying in via helicopter at the last minute and making an appearance (he didn’t).
Had you told me back then that Obama was just another disingenuous politician, I would have recoiled with incredulity, flared my nostrils at you in a huff, and told you you’d regret neglecting to make history by voting for him. I would have proceeded to stew over the conversation for at least a day, indignantly, silently scolding you for your ignorance until I blocked your reasoning out of my mind.
Like most Americans who believe they’ve fulfilled their civic duty by going to the polls once every four years, I did my part on November 4, 2008, and retreated back into ignorance (truth be told, I was living in ignorance during the campaign, too; my sole information on Barack was that music video a bunch of celebrities made set to the words of one of his speeches, which, in my defense, were very pretty).
But it wasn’t just general statist programming that drove me. As a Los Angeles native, I grew up deeply entrenched in the Hollywood atmosphere, obsessed with physical perfection and what others thought of me. Consequently, I was perpetually insecure and had little to no faith in myself, my capabilities, and my fundamental worth. Though I had always been drawn to rebellious movements, studying history and always taking classes that focused on revolution, I channeled that into the false promises of Obama, never realizing the need for dissent continued into his presidency and beyond it.
Without any sense of direction but extensive knowledge of famous people’s weddings and break-ups, after college, I started an internship reading scripts at a movie studio in 2011 with a vague hope of becoming a screenwriter. But after a few months of sitting in an office where people dressed in stylish clothes and spent their days calculating how much money a low-budget dance movie remake might generate, I was restless. I felt unfulfilled.
I also felt stupid. I had no idea what was going on in the world, so when the Arab Spring began, I felt compelled to google the news, and I found Obama was bombing the Middle East, had appointed bankers to his administration, and was just another snake oil salesman with particularly seductive rhetoric. And that’s how I was radicalized on the second floor of a popular Hollywood film studio.
I was shocked. I was outraged. Seeing that my savior Obama had not, in fact, delivered change was the first thing that spurred my journey away from traditional mainstream dogma. But the more I researched, the more I re-examined my education in history through a skeptical lens — and the further down the rabbit hole I tumbled.
Across history, the most death, oppression, deceit, and suffering has been perpetuated by governments. Dictators, monarchs, and presidents alike have inflicted these suffocations of freedom, whether by edict, the approval of Congress, or simply violating the constitution with the flick of a pen. The philosophical programming I had absorbed since grade school — that I was free because I could vote and democracy meant representation and self-agency — disintegrated. Voting hadn’t stopped the wars, it hadn’t ended the Fed, it hadn’t reigned in police brutality and corporate exploitation. It served, more than anything, to provide a false sense of control over our own lives and the lives of others — even if voters didn’t see it that way. Voting once every four years and expecting power-seekers to be my keeper wasn’t working for me.
As Mohammed Mossadegh, the ousted Iranian leader who fell victim to a CIA coup, said, “If I sit silently I have sinned.”
That’s why I started making videos, and why I still do to this day. I can’t watch the world burn and keep my mouth shut.
Of course, my message has shifted over the years, especially since 2016. Whereas I used to rage at my camera and lash out at those who still believe in the false savior of government, I’ve learned to cultivate compassion and patience, not only because you catch more flies with honey, but also because constantly spewing negativity was tearing my soul apart. If there’s anything I know for sure, it’s that the world doesn’t need more vitriol (disclaimer: sometimes I do have to call out what I view as cognitive dissonance and hypocrisy (¯_(ツ)_/¯), though I’m learning to do it in a gentler way.
I started doing yoga in 2013, became a certified instructor in 2014, and began a daily meditation practice shortly after (in truth, it wasn’t until 2017 that I really started to turn a corner in cultivating kindness). Sometimes I still want to be a sarcastic b*tch and punch people… but I’ve finally learned to pause and breathe before I react (most of the time, it’s a practice, after all). As it stands, how many people calling me names and raging at me in all caps on the internet have changed my mind?
It isn’t always easy, and I’ve also learned that my anger isn’t just because of how troubled the world is. As humans, we carry trauma and emotional suffering from our personal experiences. I can’t blame the government — or even Hollywood — for all of my inner suffering and lack of self-love. In some ways, I channeled this pain into my videos and projected my own issues into the political world and onto others, as I see so many doing now in the age of Donald Trump — whether they love or hate him.
As I continue to make videos and write articles, I’ve found changing the world isn’t just about raising awareness about injustice and, from my standpoint, waking people up to the inherently coercive, violent nature of the state. It isn’t just about speaking out. It’s also about healing the parts of ourselves that make us psychologically crave comfort from and control of the state, that lead us to put our faith in deceitful, manipulative politicians, and that allow us to hate each other so fervently and be turned against each other by narrative crafters and power-mongers. It’s about going inward to find true freedom as we also seek it in the external world.
If we are to someday live in a truly free society — one free of government and coercion — I want people to be nice, and I want to be nice to others. I don’t want to live in a world where people are terrible to each other (which is, in my experience, usually a consequence of being terrible to themselves).
In order to achieve this free society, I believe spreading knowledge, raising awareness, and pursuing inner healing are key, but so is promoting and living actual solutions and alternatives. It’s about raising practicing solutions outside corrupt institutions (whether using cryptocurrency, cultivating community gardens, supporting credible independent media, using and supporting 3D-printing technology, and volunteering in our communities, for example). We can rant on the internet all we want, but if we don’t show others a new path, it’s doubtful they will make their own.
One solution that breaks away from the established system is Steemit.
I’ve joined this platform as I’ve watched my reach on Youtube slowly dwindle. As a journalist and editor-in-chief for theantimedia.org, I’ve also watched algorithms destroy our exposure. I support independent media and decentralized, alternative forms of communication, and Steemit is a great example of how a community can thrive without the need for central planning or domineering authority.
I look forward to sharing my articles and videos with you all. Once I’ve paid off some matrix-accrued debts (credit card, car payment — I’m almost there!), I will be reserving a portion of my earnings here for charities.
PEACE, and thank you for reading!