I Better Introduce Myself.... Hello From London, I'm new here....

A little bit about myself....

It wasn't easy being a kid, we were so poor if I wasn't born a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with?
My dad was like a laptop, if you didn't touch him for 10 minutes he would go to sleep...

It was a big shock for me and mum when work told us that dad was stealing and was going to lose his job as a lollypop man (crossing guard)! but all the signs were there. My mum on the other hand never saw the irony of calling me a son of a b*itch....
She used to tell me "always give your food a rinse before you eat it." Lovely woman, terrible sandwiches!

I've had lots of different jobs over the years, I used to sell loose onions until I got the sack, then I got a job as a garbage removal man, I didn't get any training, but I thought I would pick it up as I went along.
I got fired from the calendar factory, all I did was take a day off! and my job at the concrete plant was a joke, it kept getting harder and harder....

I would say I'm pretty certain about my sexuality, I don't think I could be gay? I just don't have it in me. Another good thing is I've never had any problems getting an erection, touch wood!

My love life is nothing to shout about, I've dated a few girls recently, one girl owned a tazer, I knew it wouldn't last long but she was stunning! And last week I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes, I called her up for a second date but unfortunately she popped her clogs.
I'm not the greatest at buying gifts for girls, I bought an old girlfriend a giant helium balloon for her birthday, but that didn't go down very well. After that I didn't speak to her for 6 months, as I didn't like to interrupt her....

Well I better tell you about some of my hobbies an interests, I have a few things I enjoy doing, I love films and last night I watched a film about beavers, It was the best dam film I've ever seen!
I also like documentaries and last week I was watching a documentary about how ships are held together, it was riveting.
I love a good book and I'm currently reading "The history of glue" I just cant put it down!

Well I think that's enough about me, normally about now I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward, because that's how I roll.....