BING BING BING!!!

Tin foil hat alert!!

Rant Alert!!

Today I'm going to tell you a little story about the mental health industry and their insatiable compulsion to ride in on their pharmaceutical horses, throw pills at me, and stick me with their needles.

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First, when I was a teenager, I was brought in and they threw SSRIs at me, like Paxil, then Zoloft, because social anxiety kept me out of school. Then I took Prozac as a young adult because the former two didn't work. SSRIs block the re-uptake of serotonin. They take up to two months to work if at all, and are torturous to discontinue. SSRIs fenced in my emotions so I didn't feel happy or sad. I stopped crying, even at a good film, and I became robotic. I hated them and stopped taking them.

Fast forward to after giving birth to my child Sophie. Organized stalking and remote desktop hacking of my computers led to a nervous breakdown, and the psychs threw anti-psychotics at me. You know, meds for schizophrenia and bi-polar. First Risperidone, then more, then more, then more. Then they tried Invega, then more, then more. Then to the shot in the arm every month, and up the dosage. Why weren't these meds working??? Oh that's right! BECAUSE I'M NOT PSYCHOTIC OR SCHIZOPHRENIC!! I HAVE NEVER SEEN HALLUCINATIONS, AND HAVE NEVER HEARD VOICES. WHAT I SAW WAS REAL, AND ORGANIZED STALKING IS A REALITY! NO AMOUNT OF ANTIPSYCHOTIC MEDICATION HAS OR EVER WILL CONVINCE ME THAT WHAT HAPPENED WASN'T AND ISN'T AS BLATANTLY ABSOLUTE AS THE NOSE ON MY FACE! PLEASE CONSIDER THIS QUOTE:

Assistant FBI director Ted Gunderson said, according to the Dept. of Justice Stalking Report of 2013:

Based on my investigative work...I have come to the conclusion that
thousands of victims have been targeted by an illegal government rogue
criminal enterprise that is active 24 hours a day in the U.S. This
conspiracy is far too active to be controlled or operated by private
enterprise whose goals are achieving financial gain. These operations
require extensive financing with no return on the investment. This
program's operations are financed by illegal operations, i.e.,
narcotics, prostitution...
I have documentation and know that throughout the U.S., operating 24
hours a day and 7 days a week, there is a Central Command...whose
administrators can instantly initiate surveillance, phone taps and
harassment against anyone in the country...at any time, day or night. I
have files on numerous cases of active, programmatic, illegal
government harassment currently being conducted against thousands of
Americans. This makes the FBI's former COINTELPRO program, which I
worked on, including in a supervisory capacity, look like a Sunday
school program by comparison.

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Ahem, now that you're truly convinced that I am indeed a crazy person, I will continue with my story...

I stopped going for my shot, and the nurse called me and told me it was very dangerous to do so, and my psychiatrist wanted me to try Abilify instead. I hated the way Abilify made me feel, so I discontinued it. Then they wanted me to try a "better, cleaner" shot called Aristada. It was alright, but nonetheless, a few months ago I stopped going in for the Aristada. Guess what - nothing bad happened! For two months!

My husband has been taking his antidepressants steadily for over a month now and guess what - nothing good happens!

Then, a few weeks ago, my dear psychiatrist did the old bait and switch with me. I complained how my ADD medication, Vyvanse, runs out in the afternoon because I get up so early to blog. He told me how important sleep was and introduced Vraylar to me. "It's a miracle drug. It will give you more energy, and help you sleep better!" He gave me tons of samples because it costs like $1300/month, and told me to give it a few weeks to start working.

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He said "It will help with racing thoughts." I said, "I'm not bi-polar." He checked his clip-board because he actually forgot what he even diagnosed me with, and corrected himself, "Unspecified Mood Disorder...." I'm sorry, but what the hell does that even mean?? They can just throw "unspecified" out there like that when they can't find a diagnosis?? Then he asked, "Why did you stop taking the Aristada?" I answered, "The issue was postpartum." His reply, "Well, a lot of these issues start postpartum, but that's just when they are revealed." He just has an explanation for everything!!

So of course when I got home, I looked up Vraylar, and it's another anti-psychotic. Did I throw it out like a smart girl? No...and boy did this one throw me through the loop. For the first couple of weeks it made me super restless and irritable for the first part of the day, then I slept a lot, didn't feel like posting either. Now these last couple of days, I have barely slept at all. I took my ADD med yesterday morning and I haven't slept a wink last night - the ADD med usually lasts 8 hours, so I think it's the Vraylar building up in my system. I checked Vraylar reviews and see many people saying they can't sleep and are restless, many people say it's a cure-all, many people say they sleep constantly. Vraylar is all over the place! I kept trying to lie down and sleep, but my eyes kept popping open and I kept pacing around, not knowing what to do. I have more training at my new job today! I don't want to mess this up so I have to just push through.

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Akathisia: A strong desire to keep moving...

I am so done with stupid anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers.

They don't even know how the meds work! It's all a guessing game!!

I'm not saying these medications don't ever help people, but these head-shrinks shouldn't just throw them out like candy in a parade to everyone, and the pharmaceutical industry comes out with new ones all the time! It's all societal engineering IMO. I keep going back to him for my ADD med and Ativan, which truly help me. Keeping it old school.

I have one more appointment, then he's retiring. I'll truly miss him, but maybe this new person will actually listen to me.

Taking off tinfoil hat.

Rant over.

Love, snowpea ❤