Alone on The Homestead
I have been running the homestead alone for almost two weeks now.
I have had more than enough 'me time'. I've been very busy this entire time but to be honest, I have also been incredibly lonely & bored. This has really taken me by surprise because I am such an introverted person, quite content in my own world ...or so I thought.
I figured a few weeks of alone time would be good for me because through my entire adult life I have never really been alone. I always had someone who needed me: my son, my husband, family and friends ... there was always someone who I could be there for in some way. Now that we live out here, the number of people that need me has dwindled to one and he is travelling. This time spent in isolation has taught me that I don't mind being alone but I dislike feeling alone.
It's good to experience new things so that we can learn more about ourselves. I have accepted and explored these feelings. Although I am already immensely grateful for my life, I think I have gained a new level of understanding of myself and a greater appreciation for the relationship I have with my husband.
I haven't posted much during my alone time but I have actually written a handful of posts. I had planned to be on-line often and try to be more sociable but ironically, at the same time that I was feeling alone I was unable to post for much of the week. This was due to a succession of technical blunders of my own making. Messing with electronics is never a good idea when your handsome in-house technician is travelling.
To fill the hours I immersed myself in a wide rage of projects.
I am pretty excited about the fact that I boldly tore my husbands office apart, cleaned it out and built a desk and some shelves. I didn't really know what I was doing. for a while it was a complete disaster but somehow with some power tools and screws I created a really nice work space for him.( I can't share a photo because I need it to be a surprise and he might read this before he gets home)!
I've been gardening every day and I am still squishing potato bugs and battling the pesky cucumber beetles. The raspberries decided to ripen all at once and I've been harvesting those for hours every day. It's such a finicky and time consuming task especially on these hot and humid days. Usually I would be chatting my husbands ear off while I did this and I really missed him while doing this task.
Lunch ...on a plastic frisbee. Why not?
I've eaten piles of raspberries and food right in the garden and have done very little cooking other than preserving stuff. My husband likes to eat twice a day and I am more of a once per day person so it's been pretty easy on the food side of life. I have enjoyed having no dishes to wash! :)
The raspberries have been transformed into: lacto-fermented soda & raspberry/rhubarb juice. Some of the berries were frozen & some are being dehydrated as I Write this. I made three types of jam for my sweet loving husband: chocolate raspberry, old-fashioned raspberry and raspberry with lemon verbena.
I have also been harvesting and drying herbs like a mad woman and it smells really good in the house!
Drying rose petals. I cut a few flowers for a vase as well just to cheer me up.
Lavender is ready to harvest. So soothing and perfect for how I've been feeling right now.
I did attempt to make raw crackers in the dehydrator. This was quite an involved process because I needed to sprout wheat before I could make the batter. This recipe smelled so amazing and I was excited to eat these crackers. Unfortunately when they were finally ready I tossed one in my mouth and immediately gagged. They were indescribably bad. I figured the dogs would love them but they sniffed the crackers and walked away. I tossed them into the chickens to see if they would eat them. They didn't.
I like you too much to ever share this recipe. Blech.
Sprouted wheat on the other hand is really delicious. I love it in salads.
Lacto-fermented raspberry soda is a winner. I'll share this recipe with you soon.
Raspberry chocolate and raspberry lemon verbena jam are on the pantry shelves. I don't really eat jam but my husband loves it.
Our dog Mischa was barking a lot lately which had me on edge. I am glad she is such an alert dog. I went to explore and discovered trees along one of our property lines were marked with red tape. I hated the idea that people had been so close to the house unannounced. It turns out a logging company owns 100 acres back there and part of their land joins up with ours. I am nervous about what this means for this land. I'll fill you in when I learn more. I am so glad we own 90 acres and can protect that forever from people like this.
oh yeah, one of the hens has vanished without a trace. There wasn't even a tell-tale feather to show what happened to her. We'll have to replenish our flock soon because we are down to three and they will soon be old ladies wanting to retire. I always suspect Molly when things happen to the chickens but she has been glued to my side since my husband left.
It really is an odd sensation to be completely busy but bored and lonely too. Life is good but I think I just miss my BFF - a lot. I know when I wrap my arms around him at the airport and breathe in his scent life will feel good again. As I work through me feelings of being lonely and alone and get to understand myself better I have something intensely wonderful to look forward to and that is a blessing all of its own.
Building a greener, more beautiful world one seed at a time.
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Oh I can only imagine the loneliness seeping in. It's not completely the same, but my husband has been working 12 hour shifts almost every day for the last three weeks... those extra two hours that he's gone send my life/world into a tailspin.
How long until he's back on the homestead?
I hope your husbands shift settle back down for you soon! ♥ Tomorrow night he will be home! Not long to go now.
Me too... usually these long hours last one to two weeks; they're in their third straight week now.
I d find myself getting some extra chores done here, but, as you said, it can get lonely.
Gosh, It is never fun when that is going on. I am sure your husband is exhausted as well. Thank goodness for puppies right?
I am getting annoyed with myself for not doing more fun things ... Tonight I have determined I am going to do something unrelated to work. You should too!
It's good that you are noticing that lonliness. Better that you are sharing your insight. I wish you unexpected, but welcome company.
Sprouted wheat? Did you make it? I bet you made it! It sounds good, and I live in a 'short season' kind of climate, so it might be something I can enjoy making, too.
Thanks @nwtdarren. Sharing was quite helpful in this process! I should have done it sooner. :)
Sprouted wheat is wonderful stuff, packed with nutrition and very tasty. You need to buy or order wheat berries (I am assuming you don't grow them) and it's just the same as sprouting any seeds (low effort - lots of tutorials on how). You can also grind it into flour if you've got a grinder. know in Yellowknife I used to be able to get Bobs Red Mill products at the co-op - they might carry it. Look for: Bob's Red Mill Organic Hard Red Spring Wheat Berries and give it a try!
I LOLed about the crackers. Thank you for that giggle. It's too bad when a really involved project doesn't work out. I once tried to make homemade thin mints from a recipe online that swore it was a good copycat. Oh my word, no. They were flavorless rocks. Rocks that took ages to make. 😂
Glad you have been keeping busy! Being alone takes some adjusting. When I first moved into my own place, I was coming from never having lived alone and a painfully noisy, no-privacy place. I found myself needing background noise, when normally I HATE background noise. I would turn on the TV or radio just to hear a voice. But now that it's been years, I almost never turn on either. I like my quiet.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it! ♥ I am glad you had a giggle, it really is quite funny.
I am such a quiet person and love solitude so I am finding this so unexpected. You are right though, I can feel myself adjusting to it already. I think being an invisible human with no friends here also adds to this. It used to be my choice to be alone and now it just is that way by default. Then again, I do have two sweaty dogs drooling down my legs while I eat soup and type so ...I am never really alone. :)
It was nice to hear from you, it's been a while.
Yep, that's me ...an invisible human with no human friends. But two cats. 😸😸
Cats are cool friends to have! I would be lost without my two furry friends. I would love to have some cats living here but the dogs refuse to play nice.
Invisibility has it's advantages I think. For a person like me that is working hard on inner work ... a clean slate can be nice. I certainly don't give much thought to what I am wearing or how I look when I leave the house anymore either! :)
I can sense how much you miss your husband in your post. It's so sweet! I travel back to Asia to visit family by myself once a year. Every time when I come back, my husband always has surprises for me and tells me how much he missed me. I think when you have been with your sweet heart most of your adult life, they become part of who you are. And, when they are gone, even for a short period, it's like part of you is missing.
That's funny no one on the homestead would eat the raw crackers :-)
You have such a lovely way with words, I loved reading this so much! Every word of what you said resonated with me. Thank you. ♥
I've been left alone on the homestead 3 times since 1999, for periods ranging from 1 week to a month. Each time I was VERY busy but also very lonely. I don't drive, so even though I am not as far out as you are, I was pretty isolated.
The first day or so, I felt sort of sorry for myself, as my husband and son had gone off on vacation, while I stayed home to keep the farm going. But then, I got to REALLY liking the house staying neat and clean after I'd cleaned it. LOL
I did have the house cat for company, and she didn't make much mess. It was always during the spring or summer when they went.
When they came home I was very glad to see them and listen to all the stories, but I sure could have done without the mess.... :))
Only three times - that is incredible! I will admit things have been quite tidy and I haven't had much dishes or laundry but I would trade all that in a second, I don't mind the mess.
Yes, and I've only been on vacation myself twice, in 2001 and 2004. I seldom leave the homestead. The road trip is longest I've been off in years....
Home is quite a lovely sanctuary. I think a lot of people wish they didn't have to travel! We used to travel to escape our lives ...now that we are doing what we love, we don't really feel the need to escape anymore.
I have often wondered at the people who build their "dream home" then go away on vacations when they aren't working. Ever since we built this in 1983, it has been the only place I want to be...
Hi walkerland,
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This excellent post was included in the latest issue of The Inbox Runneth Over. Stop by when you have a minute and see what else I found along the trail. Your companions here are all interesting in their own way, and your support for this project and especially its occupants would be very much appreciated. Thank you for everything. Have a lovely day!