#16-LAUGHING MY ASS OFF BIG TIME. Some of my favorite quotes, jokes,motivation,facts and true stories during my life time.

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

Posting daily 5 quotes, jokes,motivation, facts and true stories during my life.

What did the blonde woman's right leg say to her left leg?

Answer at bottom of page.

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It is a funny thing in life, that self motivation is driven by your own determination. I have succeeded in many things in life, purely because I've set an image in my minds eye, that I would succeed.It is for the most part true that a picture drawn in your imagination has a huge impact on an eventual action. I have used image techniques when playing competitive golf, more so in match play. The ability especially when under pressure to picture a required outcome and then to execute it, is an ability immeasurable in the quality of one's life. Once you learn to win, winning becomes habitual.
Steemit can at times can be infuriating for most of us minnows. Hours spent making what we think are great post, only to see a few miniscue upvotes, can be discouraging. Then to be told that using upvote bots is at times frowned upon by a mass of people, usually by those further up the food chain. How else do we get noticed? This is a heart felt message from me to you- Be persistent, continue to work hard and push yourself. People like me will always be available to give you a hand up from the minnow pit. Note that there are many more people willing to help. So for now, head down and work as hard as you can, one day you will look up and turn around to look back....... where you once were, and in that moment , you will realize just far you have come! So put that image in your head right now!

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Every year I and my friends use to make the annual trip to watch the Wellington rugby 7's.We use to fly down from Auckland. In the accompanying photos, this is a usual typical image that people have of the Wellington 7's, absolutely everyone dresses as a character and the atmosphere is electric and the fun is both engaging and exciting. In that environment the fun is exceptional, not only in the stadium but also the night out at the many bars scattered down the main street of the CBD of Wellington City.
One year I and my friends went dressed up in Tuxedos, top hats and canes. We looked splendid on the first day and not so much by the second day!
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At one point on the second day as we were returning from buying both beers and a meal. One of our friends decides to buy 50 stick on tattoos of the national symbol, a silver fern for a dollar each. We asked him why would he waste his money on fifty tattoos and that we thought that he was stupid for having brought so many. He replied, saying that he didn't think he was wasting his money and he asked us to wait and see. Later on in the day, most of the crowd by this stage are well and truly intoxicated. Usually there is a lull period between games and the crowd will entertain themselves. This period is sometimes the best part of the tournament. At this point, our friend Johnny stands up and shouts loudly

Johnny- "Are there any woman who would like a silver fern tattoo?"

Several woman put their hands up and shout back..."sure!"

Johnny -" You know where it has to go?"

All the woman shout back to Johnny, "YES", meaning he was to place the tattoos on their breast. So Johnny approaches the first woman, she lifts her top and fully exposes a breast, and Johnny tries to place the tattoo on her breast with no success, it is at this point that the crowd yell "You've got to lick the bastard!" Without missing a beat Johnny bends over and licks the woman's breast and then attaches the tattoo and then turns to the crowd and shouts "You fellows are right, that works, are there any other ladies wanting a tattoo?

I swear I have never seen so many female hands go up faster than teen age boys having an erection watching big breasted, fine ass-ed Miss Taylor, the science teacher at Westlake High School as she walks pass the boys showers in the basketball hall. Johnny was a spunky looking man!

To this day, I think that was the best 50 bucks ever spent. Johnny
licked 50 tits that day. Johnny YOU ARE A LEGEND!

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FACT: Did you know that the fifteen stars on the Cook Islands flag represents all the fifteen Islands that make up the Cook Islands.

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After completing a degree in Counselling part time for five years and usually being in classes filled 98% of the time by females. I can attest to the fact that woman can be just as filthy minded as men, particularly in regards to sex. Trust me! Woman have gutter minds the equal of men. As the following two knock knock
jokes highlights.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Phil. Phil who?"

Phil McCrakin!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Anita. Anita who?

Anita dick inside me!

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If you enjoyed this post, check my other post for more laughs!

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/15-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/14-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/13-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/12-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time

https://steemit.com/health/@skytronia/when-life-starts-to-get-you-down-start-looking-at-the-world-through-the-eyes-of-a-child

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All of the images sourced from PIXABAY, except Wellington 7's-source

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ANSWER

Nothing. They have never met! He he. Lol!

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You have really done a good job, keep it up and the sky is your stepping stone. Seemit craves for people like you more than you can imagine. Spread the world, as we need to be happy. We wanna laugh. The Steem is our bond, I love Steemit. What about you?

Thank you for a wonderful reply. I love Steemit as well. I am happy to try to make people laugh and this is a good place to do just that!

Haha... Great work dude... Jhony is legend indeed

Johnny sure is a legend!

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