#15-LAUGHING MY ASS OFF BIG TIME. Some of my favorite quotes, jokes,motivation,facts and true stories during my life time.

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

Posting daily 5 quotes, jokes,motivation, facts and true stories during my life.

According to Hugh Hefner, What was his best pick up line?

Answer: At bottom of page

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I couldn't think of a more appropriate quote for being on Steemit. Most of the first lots of post on this platform received virtually nothing and in some cases, for hours of work. However, success does not come over night and a fair bit of work is a prerequisite to becoming successful on this site. There couldn't be a more clearer truism - Post good content constantly, learn diligently, experiment to find what works for you and your readers and involve your self in this fantastic community.

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TRUE STORY

Though there are many variations of this story/ joke. This version may have been the original source. Many years ago in the Fiji Islands, the local police were left confounded when a package containing a quite large severed penis and a note stating "I just killed this man," was found outside the front door of their tiny two man police station. Having been advised by the Main headquarters in Suva to place the items in cold storage and there being no refrigeration available at the station, the young constable, decides to take it home and place it within his own fridge. So he places the penis in a clear zip lock plastic bag and does leave it in the fridge. Eventually the wife of the young constable, opens the fridge and immediately in a state of shock, collapses and begins to wail uncontrollably.

Wife- "That is Steven Richardson's dick!"

Husband- "How do you know!"

Wife - "He has this unusual birth mark that extends from the head of his penis and part way up his shaft."

What is amazing about this story is the fact that the wife saved an incredible amount of tax payers money. As in the Islands, Forensic teams are sent in from both Australia and New Zealand to help identify body's. Obviously such a sensitive story has a negative effect on the tourism sector for the islands and the Government, hense the reluctance of the Government to have such a story, published or circulated. Generally murders on most of the Pacific Islands is non existent. The Cook Islands recently two years ago had its first murder in over fifty years. It is such a rare occurrence.

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Fact: Did you know that the New Zealand Badminton team at one point in time were called,

THE BLACK COCKS!

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A young woman after having not much success with finding a bra, as she was quite flat chested, decides to try a questionable tiny specialist store. She enters to find an elderly woman who is both hard of hearing and partially blind.

Young woman- " Excuse me madam, could you help me find a pair of size 12 A bra's?"

To which the older woman replies,

Old woman- "What was that my dear? You will have to speak up as I am a bit hard of hearing, love."

So the young woman decides for expedience and quicker progress, to lift up her top and expose her breast.

Young woman- "Do you have anything for these?"

Old woman- "Oh my, you poor dear, you have two large pimples, have you tried Clearasil?"

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If you found my post funny, check out my other post for more humor!

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/14-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time
https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/13-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time
https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/12-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time
https://steemit.com/health/@skytronia/when-life-starts-to-get-you-down-start-looking-at-the-world-through-the-eyes-of-a-child
https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/11-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life-time
https://steemit.com/jokechallenge/@skytronia/funny-true-story-my-entry-in-the-weekly-jokechallenge
https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/10-top-10-jokes-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-facts-and-true-stories-during-my-life

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Images sourced from Pixabay.

Mr BEAN-source

Young woman gif-source

Hugh Hefner source

Motivational quote source

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ANSWER

"Hi, My name is Hugh Hefner!"

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Thanks buddy!

It's an art inside you.

Thank you so very much!

LOL good ones :) Thanks again for the giggles.

You are most welcome!

Haha... Ohhh man u get my ass laughing big everytime... The girl with small breasts was hilarious.... The old woman whipped her ass crazy... Ohhh poor lass....

Thanks buddy. I would really feel for a woman who is flat chested.

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