#14-LAUGHING MY ASS OFF BIG TIME. Some of my favorite quotes, jokes,motivation,facts and true stories during my life time.
Posting daily 3-5 quotes, jokes,motivation, facts and true stories during my life.
What is the difference between a man finding a woman's G-spot and a golf ball? Answer: Bottom of page.
One of the things that both of my parents taught me growing up, was to speak less than half of the time that you are listening. I can not describe just how useful this simple piece of advice has been. Not only has it helped in all my relationships but it gives the person that is talking the sense of being listened too. So if you want better relationships with people- TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE!
TRUE STORY
They say that chivalry and that a true gentleman are things that are no longer relevant in the modern world. I beg to differ. I have always been known as a gentlemen by most of the woman that I know. Opening doors, offering your coat on a rainy day, pulling out her chair for her to take a seat, singing her a serenade and buying her flowers ( I have on occasions seen a few woman in a bar get a little down after seeing a particular woman receive flowers from her partner... on those occasions I have asked the flower lady to hand out a single flower to every woman in the bar and paid for the lot....the flower lady is happy as she sells all her flowers in one go and all the woman in the bar are happy to have received such a mysterious gift. I remain anonymous). I do not do these things for reward or gain but more so because it defines me as a man! Quite often in this modern world these types of behavior have been relegated to the distant pass BUT every once in a while a woman will stop to show her appreciation.
Many years ago I was playing in a Mixed Touch Rugby tournament. One of the woman in our team had quite large breast which were surprisingly firm, solid and really did defy gravity. Unfortunately her sports bra snapped and rather than make the 800 meter walk back to the clubhouse to change into a new pair, she asked all 9 of us guys to form a circle around her. So we formed a circle around her facing outwards. As she was removing both her top and bra, her garments got stuck and she was having difficulty getting them off, finally as she got both garments above her shoulders and head, she let off that many expletives as all the guys with the exception of myself had all turned around and faced inwards. She hurried to replace her new bra and top while every guy stood there looking on with huge smiles on their faces. Needless to say she was not impressed to have exposed herself in such a way. As is common at such tournaments upon completion, several hours are spent in the clubhouse for prize-giving and generally a big night of entertainment.
She - "You guys are a pack of assholes, only one man was a gentleman among all of you. You all got a look at my assets. Sky, come with me, you are getting a proper look!"
So she drags me to the Physio room and removes her top and bra. I have never to this day seen a better pair of breast! Firm, solid and in perfect symmetry and on a body that was sensational. She asked me to hold them, who am I to refuse? We returned to the bar. I had the biggest beaming smile from ear to ear and never have I ever been more privileged to have witnessed the best examples of womanhood. So every once in a while being a gentleman does bring its rewards!
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu
Is the longest place name in the world. It is a hill located in Hawkes bay, New Zealand.
A couple have been together for twenty years and always have had sex in the dark. Unbeknownst to the wife, her husband has always worn a dildo while they made love. The man always thought that this was a great arrangement as he really did have a small penis and was always afraid that he wasn't able to satisfy his wife. The wife also thought that this was a great arrangement as she was always self conscience of your body. One night while making love, the wife figures that after twenty years that she shouldn't be embarrassed by her body and decides to turn on the bedside table light. As she flicks the switch, she is hit with the shocking image of her husband wearing a strap on dildo.
Wife- "What the fuck is that.Go on explain that dildo!?"
Husband - " No problem, I'll explain the dildo.........after you explain the four children!?"
All images sourced from Pixabay
If you enjoyed this post, be sure to check out my other post
https://steemit.com/jokechallenge/@skytronia/funny-true-story-my-entry-in-the-weekly-jokechallenge
Good humor funny
Thanks buddy
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Great stories man.. Me too laughing my ass off....husband wearing the strap on dildo is crazy.. Haha
cheers brother
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