Redneck Church Signs!
howdy folks and greetings from North Texas where the weather is warm
and perfect, supposed to hit 100 degrees this weekend so I reckon
summer is here!
I may be strange but I really enjoy reading church signs as I'm
traveling around so I thought it would be fun to find some amusing
ones. And the reason I'm calling them Redneck signs is because most
of them are from Baptist churches.
And chances are..if you're a redneck you are going to a Baptist church,
which is wonderful, I'm not criticizing but that's the way it is. There is
a variety of other denominations here but they just have redneck church
signs also!
okay here are some of what I found:
now this isn't a church sign but I'm throwing it in because it looks like
it should be!
image sources: #1 beliefnet.com, #2 mylittleme.com, #3-10 pophangover.com, #11-18 southernliving.com
By the way, how do you know if your church is a Redneck church?
well you might be going to a redneck church if:
the Pastor says "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering."
and 5 guys and 2 women stand up!
or
if one of the official church holidays is the first day of deer season!
or
if the choir robes are embroidered with the logo from Billy Bob's
Barbecue!
or
if the membership is 300 members but there are only seven last
names in the church directory!
If any of these are the case in your church then it just may be a
redneck church. Which is good, don't get me wrong! Finest people
there are. lol
thanks for reading folks and God bless you all!
-jonboy Texas
the gentleman redneck
Hi @janton,
Your post was submitted to the #comedyopenmic #curation-league by @mineopoly. Out of all posts submitted today, it was decided that yours is funniest and have given you a 100% upvote. Keep the laughs going!
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
thank you sir!
yes the world needs more laughter!
I can't really take the credit though because this post was funny because
of the fact that apparently church sign people don't stand back and actually read what they wrote! lol.
thank you sir, much appreciated you guys are doing great work!
that's some smoking BBQ 🍗 source you got there @janton, don't be a stranger and come join us in the @ComedyOpenMic mad house 🏡 and say hello: https://discord.gg/uy8KTds
Yeah come join us! We've got candy!!
lol! thanks so much I'll have to make it over there!
thanks for the link.
OH LORD haha .. that anal egg hunt is the worst I think.. but very funny post! :)
thank you sir @anouk.nox yes when people think about Church signs they think oh these will be sweet or clever! lol no.
and in case you want to check out another funny I did one on funny signs that got great reviews. I don't think it's self promotion because it's none of my work, and I'm not asking for a vote.
https://steemit.com/funny/@janton/redneck-warning-signs
I take it you are in The Netherlands and an artist?
that's a very unusual username, can I ask what that means?
thanks for commenting!
Hi @janton I will check them later..
I am from Holland, but I don't live there anymore.. I am all kinds of things lol.. writer/artist I love many things, so it depends on my mood :)
The name is an alias.. because for several reasons I am here anonymous :)
oh how interesting! ok I won't ask about your identity again.
well you're a perfect fit here with your diversity. obviously since you have a pretty good number, I forgot what they call our number, influence number?
Forgive my ignorance but isn't Holland and The Netherlands the same country? the land with the huge windmills?
thank you sir!
No problem, I only tell what I want to tell .. otherwise you would get the answer it's private ...
Thank you, it's called reputation (you mean the 61 right?)
Holland is indeed the same as the Netherlands, yes!
And yes they have a lot of windmills :)
I guess many won't know too much about Holland, as it's such a small country anyway compared to most other countries..
Have a good weekend :)
Holland is small but from everything I've heard the people
are wonderful.
Can I ask where you are now and why you left?
if not just ignore this comment lol no problem I just find people's stories fascinating.
Well, can't totally agree with you.. I find the Dutch people living abroad (that have had enough of the system) much more positive and in a better state of mind. Overall that means, of course not everyone can be noted under the same category.
If you are interested in that part, you should dig in my posts from January this year until now.. lots of things written about it.. too much to tell in a comment ;) Warning, it's a big and complicated story, and I did not share 10% of it yet in the many posts that you'll find... :)
oh ok I understand that there is alot of internal dissatisfaction going on there from what you say. Thank you for the information and I'll go learn some things on your blog!
Thanks for the smile my friend!
:)come on now.. you had to have laughed out loud at least
once for one of these and not just a smile am I right?
do you have a favorite? I like the one about Americas Glorious
Future, the last church one.
I liked so many of them! The one about eating the Pastor was about the most fun. A church members dream?
:)Tired enough a smile is hard to come by! Finishing a multi day analysis on some public utility mechinery for a small local town. Looks like they will have to sue their supplier, so I may end up in court as an expert witness again.
:(oh I hate court! what kind of expert? I can't think of anything clever here or I would.
I'm glad you liked the signs, yeah the first one is one of the best!
I have analyzed their design and construction. I will have to go into court, and give my opinion, under oath, about what I found. I charge a lot more for that, because it puts me at legal risk, if I am wrong. I try to avoid it where posiible.
The signs were fun, when I needed a break!
:)yes sir I like to give people a laugh every once in a while, people are under alot of stress so a comedy break helps.
But what is your job title when they bring you in and introduce you..like they say you are a professional engineer or something?
Laughing is very important, to de-stress! I usually laugh at my dachshunds....
:)They call me a Consulting Engineer. When their in house engineers give up; they call me!
Here is my web site (I made it myself):
www.smithlabs.us
thank you sir I'll check it out and it better be in plain English and not Engineer speak!
It will NOT let me upvote this one. I've tried 30 times+. It let me upvote a different older one of yours I'd missed just fine though.
Weird!
Those are great. You had me laughing hard.
lol thank you sir, I wanted to lighten everyone's day!
Ok there is no way around it it you have to hook up with those crazy comedy people. They hand out prizes if you do something funny.
hey there @headchange! good to see you here.
did these signs make you laugh out loud?
they had to at least once right?
who are those crazy comedy people? I don't know who that is.
I don't really find funny stuff that often.
hope you guys are doing good back there at Green Acres!
hey @headchange if I do something like that I'll give you
the reward if I win anything since it's your idea.
How you guys doing over there?
you used to be more talkative everything going ok?
You just save up that steam power. Maybe you can swing by with a whale vote one day. Just a busy day. I will catch up on comments eventually
no problem, don't mean to pester you but if I stay with this and reach that level then it will be most pleasurable to be able to help others but of course if I stay with it I'll be able to help many people BEFORE reaching that level. I think that sounds like an idiot so I'm out.
Yeah it is that sticking with it that is the trouble. I knew what you meant. I don't manage to put together a coherent thought when things get hectic.
Will not let me upvote this one. I've tried 30 times.. It let me upvote another older one I'd missed though.
Weird!
bahahaha "Easter comes once a year, how often do you?", "Bored? Try a missionary position.", and "Best sausage supper, come eat Pastor.." ALL so damn funny :)
Like my friend's picture of a new McDonalds' sign, "Come in and try our brand new anus burger" lol It's amazing what one missed letter creates!!
lol! it IS amazing what people put on signs.
I'm so glad you liked that! hey did you see my post on Redneck Warning Signs? I guarantee you that you CANNOT get through those without laughing outloud at least once so if you didn't see that one:
https://steemit.com/funny/@janton/redneck-warning-signs
I guess on the church signs people never step back and actually
read them. lol thanks @lynncoyle1
Oh no! These are killer, Jon....Cracking up so hard I can barely type!
It will NOT let me upvote this one. I've tried 30 times+. It let me upvote a different older one of yours I'd missed just fine though.
Weird!
I think there are alot of glitches on the weekend because of extreme volune or something. don't worry about it though, someday it'll let you.
There. Finally took.
BTW...just showed these to my wife and she cracked up several times...and she never laughs at anything.
thanks @mepatriot that's great! yeah they kind of build on each other and a person
would have to have ZERO sense of humor to not be affected by them by the time they
got to the end.