Five minute free write - Lace
I gotta say, I think I took this free write in a completely different direction than people would expect.
On Valentines day with the prompt: Lace, it seems pretty obvious the direction that's easiest to flow in. But, I took it on a tangent. Today is supposed to be about love. And I wrote about love, just a different kind.
Thanks again to the lovely @mariannewest for bringing this all together with the Daily 5 minute free write challenge. I'm going to leave a lot of what I want to say until after you've read this :)
So, without further ado...
The tears would not stop flowing.
They came, rolling slowly down her cheeks. Like a snapped rubber band, a release of pent up energy. She took a place in the awkwardly moving line.
It was pointless to wipe them. More would come. Like memories, they came unbidden. To dab them would mean to cut something off. And, as she had learned just days before, the price of doing that.
What had caused the rift? She couldn't even remember anymore.
The line shortened, person by person.
Was it over her husband?
The man that just didn't fit in with the family? Was it because she had decided to... Was it because of that?
But, did it even matter anymore?
Closer she got.
It was dark in here.
All black. Even the color through the stained windows seemed dull.
Another step closer.
Why hadn't she called.
She had had all the time in the world...or had she. There was so much they hadn't told her. Why hadn't they let her know. That little fact, it could have changed everything.
Another step, and she was there.
Gently lifting the lace
That covered her wet, reddened eyes. She was face to face again with the man she had sworn never to talk to again. And she had gotten her wish. But, why was it again?
So many words she wished to say now. I'm sorry, the least of them. But now it was too late.
Soooo, that was a bit somber.
Which is honestly the exact opposite of my current mood. So, why did my free write flow in this direction? I don't know. At first I was going to write this sexy, seductive piece, but then, a loose memory broke free and floated to the surface.
A lot of my writing here on Steemit is for me...despite what it may seem to the contrary. Other people can read and enjoy it, vote me up, follow, etc., but at least for right now, it's all about me. Someday in the future I'm sure it will evolve into something more but for now I'm working through a lot of things that have happened in my life, and writing seems to be the magical key that may unlock the door to my happiness. Or at least to healing.
My brother passed before his time.
And for stupid reasons we had stopped talking. There are so many things I never got to say to him, so many conversations that should have happened but never did, so many memories that should have been but never were. I never really talk about it, I try not to think about it, it's like an open wound right across my heart. I'm sure other people who have been through similar situations know what I'm talking about. And to those who don't, I envy you.
The point I guess my subconscious wanted to make was, don't stop talking to people you love, no matter the reason. Today's writing, I think, was supposed to be about love, and that's what I wrote about. It's a cliche thing to say, but, seriously, you never know when it's going to end and you shouldn't leave unspoken words unspoken.
I hope you enjoyed my free write, lol. I'd love to hear what you think in the comments below. And, if there's someone you should be talking to, don't wait until tomorrow :)
Michael
The header picture was shot in the Grand Canyon. I picked this shot because this is where we spread some of my brothers ashes on a family trip years after his passing. Not this exact spot, though. That spot is a secret :)
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For some reason, I knew the road you were driving down in this freewrite.
I don't have much of a love story to put either, so I'm not sure what the outcome of my write will be. Thanks for sharing such a personal note.
It's not the outcome...I mean it is, but it isn't. Don't worry so much about that as you write, focus on what meaning you're trying to get across, what you want the reader to experience...usually when I write I'm just trying to create how I feel at that moment as I tell the story in my head before it gets written. Does that make sense? lol
Indeed it does. :-)
Awesome...because I was really high when I wrote that response, lol.
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing such an intimate expression of love. We're close, but I feel like I know you so much more now.
Awww, much love to you guys. So happy to see you here on Steemit :) Hehe, yeah, lots of me spread out over all the words I write, hehe.
Sir, this is truly excellent :) The moment it said "gently lifting the lace" the elements all combined into the vision of loss and of mourning.
Sorry to hear about your brother. I sometimes think no matter what we always have regrets, things we wished we'd said, things we wish we hadn't. I can relate... And yes you are very true; never wait as it really could be too late.
Yeah. Regrets abound in life. It's up to us to try and minimize them, hehe. Thanks for stopping by :)
I enjoy writings when the writer doesn't disclose what he/ she is thinking and spirals the content in a way that it makes every reader think differently. Your freewrite just did that and I enjoyed it a lot. I also liked how you backed it with your own insight and feelings. I think communicating with loved ones on a regular basis is extremely important and if a communication gap comes in between two loved ones, it shouldn't be prolonged because it can eat away on the beauty of the relationship.
Gold star @sharoonyasir :) Thanks for dropping by. I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece. It really came out of nowhere and formed itself from my subconscious. Love is always more important than anger :)
Love is definitely more important than anger. And u know from what I have found after observing anger for some time is that anger in itself isn't bad either. It is our unhealthy way of manifesting it. If we just acknowledge the anger, understand it and respond to it then things would be a lot different than if we react to the anger and hold on to it. The latter is what causes problems in our life mostly.
Yeah, the dwelling, ruminating, and reiterating definitely doesn't help. I've known people who just keep on it, like, let it go, it's not worth it. But they keep at it, and you can see the affects. Are time is limited enough, why waste it with anger? It's ok to feel it, and to express it (in certain ways) but like all emotions, it should move on so you can continue to go through the whole spectrum.
Yes time is definitely limited and sadly we only realize it when we experience a massive loss like the death of a loved one. I recently lost my uncle whom I didn't talk to much and neither liked much. Now that he has passed away and that we have come to known of his many acts of benevolence that he did without telling anyone about them, I feel that maybe I should have made an effort to talk to him more and realized that I was judgmental of him because he was different than the rest of the world. I never really realized that he was spiritual enough to have understood his purpose in the world and was following it. A lack of communication was the reason why I and all my other relatives and even his family never really understood him.
Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Again, your words hit the soul. Great freewrite!
I write to heal myself...the fact that my words can affect others, hopefully help, even better :) Thanks for stopping by as always! :)
I love reading your work! You're words carry so much meaning. It is great when our words to heal oursleves in the process can heal others also!
So true :) And, got lots to get out, hehe. Here I think I've found a home that I can get comfortable in...with my writing, hehe.
For sure. I agree and feel the same. Its a healthy outlet that, at least for me, is much needed! :)
I think the effect would have been stronger if you did not tell us beforehand that it was going to go to a different direction. I liked it anyway. I really loved your candidness and expressing your story about your brother. I'm not sure I agree. Yes, it is sometimes stupid to stop talking to people completely, however, we have limited time, and we have to surround ourselves with people who help us grow and are good for us.
We may have limited time, but the time we devote to those who are family and that we love should not have restrictions. If a family member isn't good for us, we shouldn't cut them off but think of how we can help them. Family is a unique connection to another human being that cannot be recreated. We are literally flesh and blood. Just because you think they might not help you grow, those might be some vague reasons you stop talking to friends. But those can become quite selfish...and lead to another taking actions that could have been avoided. The world isn't just about me, it's about we. And this cult of positivity and self is killing our community. You can feel free to disagree, that's what makes this an amazing world :) I just hope you never have to have the lessons some of us have had in order to learn some deeper truths.
There's always a cutoff point. Simply because someone is family doesn't excuse everything and move on as if nothing happens. I tend to believe that we grow up and choose our own families. I love my friends more than I love my family. I don't plan on stopping talking to them, but I will definitely prioritise friends over family. It can be sad, but that's reality for me.
True, everyone comes from different situations and has to make different choices. No one should simply excuse things and move on as if nothing had happened. But to treat arguments, differences, disagreements, as an impassable barrier is not the best of ideas. If you chose to love the people you've turned into your new family more than your flesh and blood, that's your choice. I've come across enough people to not question too deeply as I know some things ppl just can't get over, no matter how hard they try. Life is complex, no answer to anything, and none of us follow the same path. :)
Yeah, we kinda agree on the core. It's nice to have discussions with people who are open-minded to listen to each other. Almost strange! haha
Hehe, it is. But, like I said, I've met a lot of people who have been through a lot of things. Everyones situation is different. I can't judge why you do how you do unless I really know. And, even then, a lot of decisions people make are based on things they can never, or never wish to reveal, or don't even know, hehe. Very few things I judge for or clamp down on. :)
I had a feeling you would go in this direction when I saw todays prompt. I found that with some writers I got to know you through your words and can expect some things from you. Even with expectation in place, you are still able to surprise me with the quality of your work that increases day by day. Thank you for sharing this with us, it was a lovely thing to read 💚
Hehe. This is the first time I've ever had someone follow my work enough to figure where I might go with certain things. Weird...but super cool feeling :) Thank you for your lovely words. My own words sometimes feel like a waterfall having just broken through a dam. Out of control, bashing into everything, looking to rejoin the river... Be well! :)
Quite sad the story behind your story. But I was glad to see that you too got to associate lace with funeral!
Thanks! Yeah, sometimes life gives us lessons we don't necessarily wish to learn. Interesting to see how many other writers had the same association, hehe.
Thank you for sharing this
hugs and well cuz it's only 10 pm where I live.........
Thanks :) Have a great Valentines day as well!
This is beautiful. Like you, I tend to write mostly for myself. I find so much healing in a lot of my writing. Sure, there are times when I'm writing for fun... but so much of my writing is just me pouring out my soul like you have done here.
This is seriously a beautiful piece of writing and I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you @byn! Your words are much appreciated. Hardest part is moving forward, even after you write. Be well! :)