Five minute free write - canal

in #freewrite7 years ago (edited)

trip proofs 71.jpg

Ok, I must be on a sci-fi kick right now

Because as soon as I saw this word a basic premise for a story sprung up. Maybe because I'm reading through some of my old Heinlein books, I don't know, lol. It took several starts, several frustrating moments on The most dangerous writing app, a few angry grunts, but eventually I got it to flow the way I wanted it to :)

Another morning, another Five minute free write brought together by @mariannewest :) Without further ado...


The thin silver craft cut quickly through

The thick sludge of the narrow canal. A single figure crouched alone, hiding as best they could behind the low edges. Eyes narrow, darting left and right, they surveyed the land searching for something.

Barren rock, swept clean of life, littered the world around him. Silence reigned supreme in this now desolate place. Moving quicky, he checked something in the rear. Furtive motions puncuated by sudden, paranoid glances around.

It must get there. It must get there.

Over and over the words played in his mind. It must not end here.

Days, weeks, months, years, now decades. A lush paradise turned into...into...this. It could have been so more. But, now, it was much less. Two sides, each right, refused to give. Not one inch, not one inch at all.

But, there was hope.

And not so far away. He looked down at the small package. It just needs to get there. Once it does...life will bloom again. Hope would come into the world again.

His eyes wandered upwards. For a moment distracted by the thing he desired most for this world. Far away, just barely visible in the murky red sky, was a pale blue dot. Beckoning, calling, begging to help them start anew. If only they could get there.

Just a few more...

The thought cut off suddenly.

Punctuated by a small piece of metal, as another nearby figure began to think, 'it just needs to get there.'


Perhaps a portion of the inspiration for this story

Comes from modern day living. Where we all feel we're right, and because of that we're destroying our world. No one refuses to give an inch and the only solutions proposed are zero-sum games. Hope for us is really, really close. It doesn't have to be, 'In order for me to win, you must lose.' We can all win...really...seriously...

And that's the cool thing about science fiction. It allows us create potential futures that people can either take or leave. Enjoy the fun, or see the possibilities, or both. To leave what they saw as fiction, or work to help it turn into non-fiction.

I hope you enjoyed this quick piece. I'd love to hear what you think. :)
Michael

If you're wondering, the photo was taken Dead Horse National Park in Utah at sunset. Dang those colors were pretty

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This was a great #freewrite. You're a very talented writer. What is your background with writing?

I gather from this story that there's some sort of post-apocalyptic war happening on Mars and the narrator wants to get back to Earth, or as written,

the pale blue dot


Also, please check out my post detailing a day in Venice, Italy during my backpacking trip in the Summer of 2014 =)

https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mkkenny13/dailyfreewritechallenge-day-116-canal

My background is just doing a lot of writing, hehe. I had a blog when I traveled Southeast Asia, and came back and did some work with a print magazine that I became the managing editor for. But that's about it. Lots and lots and lots of words :)

That's one way to interpret the end of the story. My mind was going along the lines of the old myth of water filled canals on Mars, and a species that felt that since they destroyed their planet, they could find life again on Earth. Their last hope. Whomever 'they' happened to be in the end :)

Well Martians of course...

Great post.

And that's the cool thing about science fiction. It allows us create potential futures that people can either take or leave.

Why is it that most futures people come up with are bleak? Just a rhetorical question...

The times we live in I guess... For me it comes from a bit of inner darkness I'm trying to conquer. For many, it reflects the sad sentiment of many. It takes a true dreamer to push through the world and create a new one for other people to believe in.

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You got me confused a bit with referring to the main character with IT instead of HE :) It reminded me of a lord of the rings character :)
Story is very good, but your interpretation afterwards is better. I like the way you think and agree with you on this. We can all win 💚

Hehe, yeah, I could see that. The 'it' referred not to the character, but what he was checking in the back of the craft. Maybe that wasn't clear. Lesson learned :)

Yeah, that whole 'we' thing :)

Ah, yes, I immediately thought, 'The Canals of Mars.' Well written, very evocative for such a short piece.
Nick

Thanks for stopping by and reading! I think I might have read that. So much sci-fi that I've gone through in the past, hehe.

I loved the way Heinlein would add a little blog at the end of his books about the craft of writing and what projects he was working on. Really inspired me as a youngster.
Nick

Yeah, his YA was my young selfs inspiration. Read Farmer in the Sky so many times, then Have Spacesuit Will Travel, Starship Troopers... :) So many.

I had never heard of them... maybe vaguely.

I loved this piece, particularly the ending - the other person who thinks the same thing. I'm not a huge sci-fi fan, but this really kept me interested. Good writing ;)

Here's the new prompt: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-117-5-minute-freewrite-tuesday-prompt-church

Woohoo! So glad to hear that :) Gonna head to the prompt shortly. Gotta follow up on all the amazing comments on stuff :)

I was curious about what kind of story you would come up with. This was a good one. I feel like I say it again and again but a lot of those #freewrite stories makes you want to read more!

and that is the philosophy behind the freewriters. We all win and we all lift each other up 😀

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