Let People Go - A Melancholy Freewrite about Love, Nostalgia, and Growing Up.
The older I grow, the more I'm coming to realize the value of moving on; may it be from a person or a memory of one. The phrase "Just move on" used to sound like something I would never need.
But as life went on and as I began to lose connections with people, I began to notice why older folks seem to use this phrase so often.
When we're kids, we are usually not taught how to deal with loneliness and people walking out of our lives for the simple reason that they didn't.
Most of our childhood friends remained our friends for a long time until they didn't and everyone just picked different career paths.
This isn't anyone's fault though. As kids, we are yet to figure out our interests giving us time to be in each other's company a little longer.
But as soon as we're old enough, the roads diverge. We're busy more often and our future becomes a bigger priority than our present.
Our past is then filled with unkept promises and thoughts of 'what could've been'. It certainly is so for me. Looking back at some of my older friends, it makes me feel the burden of wanting to live my childhood once again.
"Oh how fast we grew up," I sigh looking at their photos.
Related: What I Learned From Meeting An Old Friend After Two Years
People who I thought I would never leave are now strangers and the ones who I thought I would never get along with now sit beside me.
It's crazy how time can change people, but not the memories you carry of them.
The more I think about it, the more I stress over the thought that all of our relationships are mere coincidences and we're never actually 'meant to be' with anyone.
What helped me is admitting the fact that none of us are built to last with each other. One of the wisest things you can do is let people free and just let them be.
But it's easier said than done because the idea of "forever" is so deeply wired in our minds that it becomes almost impossible to imagine an end to our relationship with someone without traumatizing ourselves.
Related: How I'm Overcoming One Of My Greatest Fears
We as a species are exceptionally good at romanticizing the idea of eternity in our love and that's exactly what makes us miserable when we face the truth that nothing lasts forever.
It's a beautiful horror we all face.
Some do pretend to not care about any of it as a defense mechanism to save themselves from the inevitable longing to be held close till the end of time, but one can only pretend for so long.
In the time I've been on this rock, I've felt that longing quite a few times and I'd be lying if I said I don't feel it still.
I nod my head in agreement when people say "you can't love someone else if you can't love yourself" as I think to myself "but don't we need each other to show us how?"
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Lovely post, @ayushjalan. You've summed it up very well. I share exactly the same feelings about friendships and relationships!
Thanks for sharing!
Nice to know that you feel the same way :) These thoughts have been circling my head for quite some time now.
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