Today, everyone in the office was surprised after hearing refreshing news that a famous pizza restaurant introduced a new way to send food – a pizza will fly to your home address. Yes, fly. By drone.
And it really sounds cool. A revolutionary way of delivering food that will shorten the time that the pizza takes from the oven to your front door, in this case the window. If we assume that the pizza masters will provide all necessary permits for the management of a drone, in the sense that they will be registered in the Aircraft Records kept by the Directorate of Civil Transport, the drivers of drones will have a medical certificate and passed the “Aeronautical regulations” test and other bureaucratic peripheries, I still have a question:
How do you plan to do that?
In fact, there are more questions that my future food deliver, a favorite flying friend, a mechanical pigeon of peace that calms my hunger – drone should answer.
How will you come to me?
Okay, the order of food looks like this – I call the phone number or go to the website, whatever, and then I say which pizza I want and type the address. So, drone, how do you know where’s my home, on which side does the window or the terrace look? You will reach the eighth floor, and then you will turn around, cursing in Dron’s language in your dron’s chin “Where the fuck is flat 41?” Or you will ask me to give specific instructions while ordering, like “The side of the building that looks to the main street, the eighth floor, left, you will see the air-conditioning and the white shutters”. Drone, do you understand it’s too much work for me, dude? During that time, I’ll go for a pizza by walk.
Even if you come, how will you let me know you are here?
You’re gonna knock me on the window? You will have some audio signals, an alarm or someone will inform me by phone: “Please open the window, the dron has been flying around your flat for five minutes and wasn’t able to call you.” Or will I have to wait for you on the window and wave?
How will you give me a change?
Will you have special bag with money that I will be able to take? Or you will ask me if I have exact amount of money or just $20, and I will tell you that I don’t have, and then you will have to fly to the store and change it, so you can return me? Or is it the only possible option for me to pay by credit card through the internet, but what if I am grandfather, who barely uses a phone? Is it possible that you will not help me?
Do you expect a tip?
There are a million scenarios how you can earn or lose a tip, but do you expect it? Will I be a jerk if I really do not have a tip for you tonight, and then next time you will spin around the building, delay, or miss a adress?
How will you bring me a Coke?
Spilling coke from the drone is not allowed. I know you do not want to pour out my drink, but what if you do it by accident? Do you know that you need a permission from the Directorate for the Discharge of Liquids, but even if you get it, how will you justify the fact that you have spilled a drink on the head of an unfortunate person?
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