Shiro- The Cursed My Entry for #finishthestory
Shiro
by @Brisby
Shiro paid the street vendor for his lemonade, unfazed by her curious glances to the glove on his hand. Any other day, he would have answered the unspoken questions of the smiling woman with a light quip. A bit of banter went miles in getting people to overlook his many...eccentricities.
Today though, he couldn't muster anything witty. Throngs of people were milling about the square, mindless to those who were in a hurry. His quick errand run had become a snail-paced slog behind wandering looky-loos. The brown jacket he wore was sodden thanks to the blistering bake of the summer sun. He'd give anything to shed his sweaty layers but the memories of what had happened the last time...
Compounding his exhaustion were his ever-present traveling companions. Their desperation for his attention had begun fraying his nerves since he left home. Ignoring their antics and way they clung to him had worn his energy to a hair's breadth. Sheer obstinance was all that kept him from screaming at them in the middle of the crowd.
Shuffling aside to savor the crisp drink in the shade of the over-sized umbrella, Shiro felt something crunch beneath his heel. Dammit! Whatever he had broken, it sounded expensive.
Behind him a voice shrilled, "You're paying for that!"
Shoulders slumping as he fingered his wallet, he turned. "Sorry! I didn't know...", his voice choked to a halt. Not because the person was intimidating. The blonde slip of a girl glaring daggers at him wouldn't have been able to frighten a hamster. Nor was it due to her beauty, as she had been graced with an unfortunate nose.
It was the reaction of his companions that stole his breath.
Gone were the shadowy undulations and static flickerings who had doggedly followed Shiro since he was a child. What remained were swirling vortices of crimson and pitch. Amorphous, they writhed. They wailed. The air thickened with the depth of their need.
Without warning, unctuous tendrils sprang. Shiro cried out but it was too late. Oozing with hunger, his companions snaked to envelop the girl. Her wide hazel orbs rolled to the heavens before she collapsed to the ground.
Shiro turned away walking towards the corner, not wanting to look at another dead body with eyes fused shut. That is why he did not notice a blue nimbus of light hit the girl. Shiro steeled himself not to feel anything, the intoxicating high after devouring a life, a young and vibrant life this time, could be addictive- so his mother had told him. Mother; his only teacher and friend, ever.
She had run away from home . And not because she was not married but to save her child- the first born of the tenth generation of the Worna tribe. She had told all this to Shiro many times. How she was duped into marrying into Erring tribe, only so that her first born could be sacrificed. Killed on birth. But she had escaped, never going into the details but always ending with "Son, you are the anchor of our ancestors. Your strength is their last hope." Shiro abhorred these hungry ghouls piggy backing on his consciousness- ten deformed souls of past chiefs and priests, each more menacing than the other.
Shiro felt the ghouls settle back but did not feel the life-force of the girl coursing through his veins, he stopped cold. This was the first time. He reached for the ghouls, they were - silent, coiled. Something was wrong, Shiro turned back only to find the girl stalking towards him, pushing her cart ahead of her.
"Why the attack? You cannot see I'm Roma, idiot mage!"
Shiro was struck dumb. And the ghouls were screaming at him "Lies! Erring Magic! Run!"
"And you broke my favorite strainer. Come on pay up."
Shiro instinctively stepped backwards, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "Yes. I'm so sorry. I was tired and this heat...But you survived."
"Stay now. Are you stupid? I told you I am Roma."
Shiro shut out the screaming from his mind and tried to reply. "Er. I don't..."
"Holy Hearts! You don't know the tribes!" The girl laughed out and stepped around her cart.
"Please; I can control ..them... mostly. But you are the first one to live an attack."
"My da can help you. I think."
"Kill! Get Away!" The ghouls continued the rant, only louder. SHUT UP Shiro thought.
"Ezenine tribe. Huh"
"Wornaran."
The girl froze for a couple of seconds, then Shiro noticed her eyes focus on a point behind him. Before he could decide over the clamoring of the ghouls "Kill! Kill!". The girl blinked at him.
"I knew it. My da says I am really strong in the Arts. He is of the clan Elders."
Shiro felt the ghouls fan out into crimson mist and he was pushed sideways so violently he yelped as the stumble wrenched his ankle. A bolt of light hit the girl between the eyes and she fell down a second time, this time very dead. The Ghouls whispered to him
"Erring mmmages. Runnnn. Llivvve"
They had found him. Shiro ignored his ankle and started to run leaving behind the crimson mist enveloping the frustrated mages.
The Contest : https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@bananafish/finish-the-story-contest-week-57
Picture Credit: pixabay.com
This leaves me wondering. Im also a bit sad for the Roma sorceress if I've to say the truth. I like the narrative potential of your entry.
The depth here is just amazing, the history, the bloodlines, the way you set up with his mother, it brings so much to it and I would love to hear the rest of this adventure.
I just love how the vendor talks to him, the friendly assumption, as though he is one of them, it is instant immersion, and then Holy Hearts! What an exclamation! Ahh sarez, you are a master of this snippet of a full world stuff. I haven't been well at all, and trying to keep a requested low profile, but ahhhh, so glad i caught this. You have transformed this market into a melting pot of magic, roma travelers, a man wrestling with his own powers, with no idea of who or what he is, or how to control it once again fleeing, fear hot on his heels. just brilliant, as always, as always <3
#sbi-skip
@calluna Get better soon.
Best wishes for a newer better speedy return!!
Many Thanks for taking the time to reply.
thank you <3 got a review with a new specialist coming up so hopefully that will go somewhere, very much enjoy the horror fantasy escape here, I keep missing things, so make sure to let me know if you come back to this ;)
#sbi-skip
Often, when I read the conclusions on Finish the Story, I have a sense that more is in the author's mind. That's what I feel here. If it weren't for the 500 word limit, I think you would have rounded this more fully. It's a complex scheme you've got worked out, with the different tribes, the history of the mother, Shiro on the run...always it seems on the run.
This is like a tantalizing piece of a story...well written but leaves us wanting to know more.
Wow! @agmoore You are absolutely right. I replaced what I was doing halfway when I realized how many words were already there. This happens often when I try to make the character more "believable".
Thanks for the reply.
I like when I read this: it means that the FtS was successful once again since our purpose is to inspire.
You're welcome
🙂
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STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
I had high hopes she was going to help him somehow, but it zig-zagged and got even better than where I thought it was going, more high stakes. There's a lot of great depth here!
I wanted to know who Shiro is.
Glad you liked the story.
Wow, Sarez! You've given Shiro an incredibly rich and intriguing backstory. You've me wanting to read more (darn that 500 word limit - am I right?). This could easily become a series with the groundwork you've laid.
Shiro steeling himself against the expected rush was perfectly aligned with his characteristics from the beginning. It's a heavy burden he bears in trying to control the ghouls within. The shocking revelation of the girl's survival and her lineage gave us momentary hope that there would be a way for him to be free. Unfortunately she was in the wrong place at the very worst time.
Great ending line (and nod to the beginning) with the crimson mist enveloping the frustrated mages!
I am glad @bananafish that you liked Shiro's tale. This wanting to understand about my main characters is incredibly creative urge but it has it's flaws. It limits how many people I can write of and sometimes ( often) I paint myself into a corner, where a plot cannot proceed as planned.
Here I try things I usually don't. I do try to make it pretty good and the fantastic beginnings help a lot.
Keep Steemin!!
I wanted to know who Shiro is.
Glad you liked the story.
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