Radical Imagination! Begin To Talk To Your Wishes. Fighting The Red Dragon Of Ego!
Tears fall into my coffee and I drink them.......I will drown my damn Ego, once again!
Hmmmm!
The Red Dragon is your Conscious Self - Who you are and who you are becoming - Source
Something doesn't feel right those past days and it becomes clearer, that my impatience is growing. In order to make my dreams come true, I have to take action again, rather than simply wishing for what I want.
Vision is such an important companion to our efforts
There is only one choice I have and it is to stay focused on my own, little lost in space, dreams again. We need to visualise them first, when they seem blurry.
Life doesn't make sense sometimes but it's worth to keep on looking for our purpose.
What makes us so unique? I have to admit that I am not sure what makes me special, when your closest ones criticise you that much. I enjoyed a sincere hug yesterday evening and say thank you to the one, who felt empathy for my repressed tears and my temporary insecurities effected by the strong moon vibrations.
I wish to participate in useful projects again and wonder what stops me! The same old behaviour patterns do and keep me frustrated at the moment, a feeling of not being active enough.
Maybe its time to sit still?
My life is on hold because I decided to dedicate my time, caring for my mother. It seems the right thing to do but it also puts me in a cage, filled with too much responsibility, I never wanted and even thought that I would not be capable, to handle well. I just do it anyways.
At least I can be proud that for once, I don't run away.
This situation produces confusion in my head and random thoughts in my todays article!
I find myself hiding more than usual. That's a safe place, I am so familiar with. My senses are hyper emotional!
I am too sensitive over senseless power games.
I am too sensitive to accept criticism.
I am craving understanding for my worries.
I feel lonely but not alone. I mistrust! I am confused and doubt my instincts.
People puzzle me......
Thanks @akashas to remind me about The Mayan calendar's cycle.
Yes Dear! I try to fight the "Red Dragons" of Ego struggles, once again.
I love to know!
Image Source
We Need Radical Imagination as a Source of Power as Poka Laenui describes
I am looking for prophets!
I would like to mention a man, I read about, quite a lot recently.
His recent prophecy takes the form of a fictional guide for a visitor to Hawai’i in the year 2035. The story describes life in Hawai’i once it regains sovereignty, which was taken from the Hawaiian people in 1893 with the overthrow and imprisonment of Queen Lili?uokalani and the subsequent annexation by the United States - Source
Poka Laenui is inspired by Native Hawaiian storytellers, the prophets, he calls them, who traditionally created “imagery and dreams, and let them fly, so other people could understand and participate.”
“Begin the dreaming process! If I prophesize wrong, at least other people will be inspired to try it themselves. Otherwise we just grumble about what we don’t have.” - Read this inspiring article HERE
Maybe we should define our fears first instead of our goals.
I don't know but one thing I know for sure that it's more than time to clarify what stops me on and on and let the family bullshit go!
I faced a "Dragon" once and I will do it again!
(I post more of my previous articles since many asked me "who I am". My articles will tell you)
Face2Face With A Komodo Dragon, The Heaviest Lizard On Earth
Yesterday, I read a very touching, extremely moving, honest and intense article from @steemtruth "Caring for a Dying parent, I don't like" about his relationship to his father.
I did not make any comment but my own relationship with my parents became more present in my mind, than I wish for. I am in a vicious cycle it seems of a so called ongoing family drama and it seems there is no end in sight.
My own destined Karma enfolds looking at my present, twisted relationship with my own daughter. She builds walls around her and as a typical mother, not always as perfect as I wished to be, I am driven to brake those bricks she uses to draw her borderline. I guess thats exactly the wrong thing to do because it puts pressure on a young girl who tries to become independent, wanting to live her own life she is entitled to without Mom in her back.
I hate walls!
Limitations are unpleasant but I have to admit that I also build them around me, throughout my life.
My crystal walls of my own cocoon were my protection and now I see them growing again but I never wanted my girl to copy me.
For sure, I never wished to be on the "other side"!
I made a decision a while ago that I prefer to write about the beautiful things in life and share memories, I decided to remember because I refuse to bring up the "damages" with the motive of forgiveness in the back of my heart. I am squeezing the "shit" away from me and I do it since I am 11.
There are many reasons why I practised this habit but this is for another article.
Oh dear! I seem to copy my mother. She always puts the bad stuff under her million of carpets.
Maybe that's why I actually hate places with carpets! You can find too much "dirt" underneath.
I will plan a big clean up time ......once again!
That's it for today with my random rant for the blockchain to know!
Yours @mammasitta
I enjoyed reading your random rant @mammasitta but it wasn't a rant. It was very moving and beautifully written. It was raw, from the heart with so much still unsaid. I felt pangs as I read it.
I hope that your relationship with your daughter and parents has a silver lining for you and that you find the right things to say and do at the appropriate times.
Caring for a parent can be very challenging. Good on you for doing it. You will be blessed in other ways, that's what I believe.
I'm so pleased that my post resonated with you. I'm even more pleased to met you and read this post. Thank you!
Dear @steemtruth ( I love that name, we need more of the truth indeed, even though your MLK story shocked me)
I am so thankful that I found your honest article because it gave me the courage to let go, even though I knew, that days later, I will feel lifted again and ready for those blessings.
I said it earlier in some replies that I think that the "bloody blue full moon" caught me big time and spinned my heart around but I read those past 2 days about the deep purification effect and find myself back "in control" again :)
I accept my place!
You are beautiful to find time to reply and I was a bit blushing, when you said that my thoughts moved you, even were written well. Thats a big one because I struggle with insecurities, opening up in public.
I guess it doesn't matter what language we have learnt to speak, when our soul screams "louder" than any words could do.
My pleasure meeting you too!!!
Hello @mammasitta, just a couple of thoughts. The problem with wall is they start off small and low level, and are easy to step over, by the time they are carpeted wall to wall you can no longer lift the rug and sweep things under, or sweep things out. The walls get in the way. Try not to tear down the wall, that is in my opinion a futile effort. If you can not build a door into the walls start with a small window to either look in or look out. In time you will find a set of french double doors, and window seats to open and air out what has grown stagnant in the walls. I know that my thoughts on ego are not those of most people, and I may misunderstand the terms used quite often. All I know for sure is that Ego was a term developed by a shrinky guy in a white coat to try to control people. People are constantly telling other people to let go of their ego, to kill their ego. I have never understood why someone would want someone else to kill a part of themselves. Ever since freud, it seems people have been becoming more worried about standing for what they believe.
Any way, in time all things do work out. Maybe not the way we saw them working out, but the way they needed to. We learned to walk by learning to crawl. we learned to build walls one brick at a time. We learn that by removing one brick we have a small window, an opening that we can glance out of and dream once again of freedom.
That’s so amazing what you wrote and gave me very valuable food4thought especially the question why we would want to destroy “ego”, such an important part of our SELF.
All I try to learn is to face my ego and smile.
I also wish to find people who love me enough to embrace ALL OF ME!
Oh well with that “ control-freak “ who tries to protect me in a way but messing up a lot, it’s kind of difficult.
I think life is meant to be difficult, where is the fun when everyone gets gold stars for everything they do, when everyone is a winner, why even run the race? I think people that really "love you enough to embrace you" do love all of you, even the control-freaky part that shines through the cracks every now and then. We are after all, all the scars, wrinkles, and cracks we have earned throughout our years that make us us. Self preservation is running the race to win for ourselves, it doesn't matter how many others win or even run the race, as long as we know we ran, we survived, we won, perhaps not in the sense of first place, but in our hearts, body, mind and soul, our spirit never lets us down.
I just copied and pasted to my notes because This is the Best reminder for myself and my “loved ones”. Thank you so so so much!!!
"The Red Dragon is your Conscious Self ......"
most of the time, I am unconscious, lol. Lost deep in my subconscious exploring my atavistic past!
upvoted and resteemed ..... thanks for your vote, btw
Hehehehe.....Sounds like me right now:)
The Unconscious gives a huge kick to that consciousness of "shit" under the carpets.
I guess I better stay LOST :)
You are only lost for so long. Each new turn along that road you travel also provides the key to unlock new insights. The way into the future has unlimited tracks. And each time you decide (or someone decides for you) you will change tracks. Are we lost when that happens? Are we lost when we lose sight of the track we thought we would follow? Nothing is ever pre-ordained. The bricks we lay down during our time here will be the foundation of someone else's new construct. Once we let go of the linear view and see who or what we are, where past, present and future are one, then we would realize that we are immortal, since we live on within this wonderful creation.
Wow!
Life is beautiful!
You are right ......
Danke für diese wunderschönen Worte und Gedanken ☄️☀️💫
Wise man speaking. True words.
thank you - sometimes I surprise myself. I thought I mine this insight and marry it with one of my rare abstract paintings and post it here:
https://steemit.com/philosophy/@thermoplastic/are-you-lost
Das sollte ein "geflügeltes Wort" werden!
Hello! I again read your post. I came across an uneasy poem and a touching story. I wanted to publish it, but found that it already exists on the Stimeet. It is unfortunate that so few people paid attention to this story. It's time to try again. Your publication has touched many to the core. It is very important. It should stay here: Poem Cranky Old Man
Wow! That’s an incredibly moving poem!!!
I was more impressed with the story of writing.
I was moved....indeed!
Will reply later. Preparing to visit my mother in Carinthia...
Back again... Now, after reading all, also all comments so far, I can only say I feel with you. There are some differences in our life stories but a lot of it is very close. It will take me some more time to learn about you, but I see you sitting with your mom and the TV show... It is so unreal, so far from your needs and though, it‘s reality.
Me, too, I never wanted to bring heavy vibes into the world, and I do my best to spread good vibes. But there are days like in prison and I try to ignore it and there is no way to run away. But knowing that sadness (just like other negative emotions) is unhealthy I do all I can to get out of it.
Family relationships are one of the best training programs that we chose to grow. I had very hard and bitter lectures and learned to accept („it is as it is...“).
My mother and my elder son are very similar with their character and almost born on the same day in sagittarius. What I could not solve with my mother, is here again, to be experienced the other way round.
I am worried for you, however, as any permanent care is very energy consuming and you would need some days off or with other, uplifting humans... The word burnout may be wrong, but it‘s just... Our life should be balanced. We need fun, joy, time to relax. I truly wish that you find ways to care for yourself and be cautious. Maybe you can delegate some matters if your burden gets too much. I am learning... and the Steemit community is very helpful, in many ways. Hugs! 💐😀💐
For now, after reading your wonderful, heartwarming and personal comment, I send you a big HUG!
The moon threw me out of my balance for a while but as crazy as it might sound......I feel, dass ish trotzdem am richtigen Platz bin:) Es passt schon, so wie es ist. It is what it is and for a good reason! Indeed!
I just told my Mom that she was not that bad after all :) She was happy and I am even more happy that she gave me that big smile.
I had an exciting life and no regrets!
There is so much more to come but for now I have no other choice than to sit still, as hard as it is.
I might have to learn that lesson right now. I never ever sat still :)
More HUGS!!!!
Thank you for your reply. Yes, accepting... like, accepting our parents - seems harder than accepting our childrens‘ character. My mom still tells the world how disappointed she is with me. But I learned to accept her the way shr is. I am glad that I could overcome it and I still hope. I do hope for you that life will give you abundance in all what your soul is longing for. We are not born for suffering. We are born for a joyful life in abundance. But like seasons and weather conditions life isn‘t alsways sunny and mild. More HUGs to a beautiful soul, Lygia
B E A U T I F U L !!!!
I think I found a Soul Sister :)
Did you ever think that your Mom might just mirror herself somehow and just expects more from you because she couldn't fulfil her own wishes? I am not sure if she is really disappointed with you.
I have a similar situation the other way around and try to understand what went wrong but you are right .....Its easier to accept our children than our parents.
Joy is MY Motto and nothing gets me down .....not too far at least :)
Again, please allow me a break! You‘re soooo right. I‘m on the road...
So, dear @mammasitta, now I am at my destination (my mom's house) in the mountains.
Obviously you know a bit about those relationships and backgrounds... I am absolutely convinced that all family members meet to play a piece of drama together. The lectures we teach each other are not always pleasant. But who are our best trainers?... Those who we are connected with... our partners, our family...
It takes some time to realize how much we have in common with our parents - and how different we are at the same time. It takes even longer to comprehend that each of us had other conditions that formed us and that this simple fact causes misunderstandings. Nowadays, maybe, parents and children discuss more open. The generation of my parents was trained to play authorities and there was no way to question their point of view. Times are changing...
I had other next "Steemit topics" in my mind but now that we had this talk I want to write some lines about my mom. A story including a big surprise...
I love your motto. I had the motto "Never give up!" but that's old speak including two negative terms. Now I prefer saying, "Happiness is the way!"
Since I met you, I have a strong feeling, too, that we are in resonance... I am moved and very happy that I found you.
Yapppp! Here we go!
We are playing those “Dramas” until we can’t do it NOMORE, until we finally got the lesson, we had to learn.
We also carry the Family Karma on our shoulders.
Can’t wait to read your story!
I’m having some unpleasant nerve pain from too much computer work. Had to slow down a bit
Oh, sorry, relax and give your body healing! I decided to write some words about my son today and mom-story follows as soon as possible. So true again - „until we finally got the lesson“!
Aaaarg Nice! Hahaha :-)) The red dragon energy !!!!
It’s a great topic hope our lovely fellaz @yoganarchista and @lichtblick also will see this great article dear @mammasitta ;-) schönes Thema! Find ich gut ma drüber zu schreiben!!!! Pin ich zu mir!!!
Lunar Eclipse only 2 days away ....hmmmmm
Ich spuehe FEUER!!!!! Versuche nur Mal drauf zu kommen wie weit :)
Habe Beide schon lange nicht mehr gesehen oder gespuehrt :) Danke Schatzi!
DAnke an @lichtblick ....! Ich geb’s weiter...!
I am reading about it HERE because i have never felt it as strong as this time:
By www.mysticmamma.com
Hi mammasitta, I am very sorry to read about your situation now. It's always the case when vicious life cycle comes, it will just keep on pressing till we feel like the whole world is against us. My prayers with you, I pray everything will be alright soon. I know you are a fighter that will emerge victorious as ever. Take care my friend. God bless you for your kindheartedness. I saw a post complimenting you today by @hatemmkh. Please read it https://steemit.com/steemit/@hatemmkh/favorite-6-steemit-users-that-you-should-follow... hope it can cheer you a lil bit ya... lots of love and hugs from Kuala Lumpur 🤗🤗🤗
Ohhh KL! I will be back there one day and we will meet to have a long chat. You are a very special lady! The moon will pass by and the sun will shine again. Your prayers are very welcome! 🙌
Terimakasi untuk Article. I did not see it before. Such joy
Ohhh that's a great news... looking forward to meet you in KL and chat and coffee. ☕🍰🍦
Thanks for your kind compliment. It's my pleasure about that article. All your followers should also read it, it's an honour to have known you. Oh yes the moon is just a temporary effect.... it's gonna be a bright bright sun shiny day.... take care my friend.
I am truly effected by the moon ...every month its kind of the same :) but I never know it until it smiles at me with a bright big face
Oh I don't understand anything about moon to advise you but I hope that smiles means good okay. 😊☄
Now just 2 days of a lunar eclipse? It affects?
Oh dear! How could I forget about this!!!??
Thankssss
Glad to remind!
When the full moon I feel this atmosphere.
When the energy goes, and it's not always clear what to do with it.
We must still be able to guide it.
This is really deep and I could feel your heart just reading this. The Red dragon always tries to make us wanna do things that put us first and make us thinks we are weak if we succumb to our emotions. I tell you emotions are the best instinct we have...except when they are abused. Find that thing that makes you smile daily and focus on them for now. One more thing..try not to be hypersensitive to things or rather...see them from the positive side.
I know I know but my heart is “bleeding” today. I am just sad ....
That's some deep psychology :) I struggle with family relationships as well, it's definitely not easy, however i respect you for caring for your mother, i believe that's a good choice even if it adds responsibilities and pressure to your life. Nice post:)
Sometimes its hard to accept "the what is for what it is". Most of the time I can deal with it quite well but then those m moments catching up on you and you feel sad.....