šSpace Carrie's Adventures In Space!š- Episode 7
This debuted on July 8, 2018.
Written by @chrisroberts!
SPACE CARRIE'S ADVENTURES IS SPACE is an old time radio adventure series produced for Steemit. Want to know more? Find me on Discord: https://discord.gg/KsRrtBH
Are you behind an episode or two?
No fear!
- šSpace Carrie's Adventures In Space!š- Pilot Episode - Recording and Script
- šSpace Carrie's Adventures In Space!š- Episode 2 - Recording and Script
- šSpace Carrie's Adventures In Space!š- Episode 3- Recording and Script
- šSpace Carrie's Adventures In Space!š- Episode 4- Recording and Script
- šSpace Carrie's Adventures In Space!š- Episode 5 - Recording and Script
- šSpace Carrie's Adventures In Space!š- Episode 6 - Recording and Script
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!
You can see Chris and I introduce it at #dlive: DLive
Click the image for my DLive Page!
SPACE CARRIEāS ADVENTURES IN SPACE - EPISODE 7 - PETROLEUM LIZARDS
Written by @chrisroberts
Produced by Carrie Allen
NARRATOR - Chris Roberts
SPACE CARRIE - Carrie Allen
CAPTAIN CORK - SirCork (Corky Kaericher)
HENRY THE ROBOT - Himself
KEVIN THE MUTE SPACE MINSTREL - Himself
MOLE PEOPLE - LittleScribe
PILO, KING OF THE MOLE PEOPLE - Nathan Kaye
PEPE, ASSISTANT TO THE KING - Meno (Andres Mena)
SOUND FX - AND NOWā¦.
NARRATOR -1
Last time, on Space Carrieās Adventures in Space, in case you couldnāt guess, our heroes got themselves into all sorts of new space trouble. In a trip to the robot scrapyard to pick Henry up some new wheels, they crossed the path of the dreaded Laser Asteroid Field of Gruba Klyzoria! Thanks to Captain Corkās expert maneuvering of the Steem Starship, the team was able to pass through the Laser Asteroid field unharmed. But once they reached the robot scrapyard, our heroes still werenāt out of the space weeds. Captain Cork was suddenly dragged down into the massive pile of robot garbage. As Space Carrie attempted with futility to free the Captain with her laser sword, he was completely sunk into the robo-rubble, and disappeared. Moments later, through a holographic communication via Henry the Robot, Captain Corkās captors made contact. Apparently there lives a race of mole people underneath the Robot Scrapyard, and they have taken the Captain!
SPACE CARRIE
Can you move a little faster, Henry? King Pilo said we better get to the meeting spot before dark, and I donāt want to meet those petroleum lizards he was talking about.
HENRY
Beep boop. I didnāt manage to find the wheels I need, so yes, Iām a little slow. Sue me. Beep boop.
SPACE CARRIE
Canāt you hover or something?
HENRY
Beep boop. My thrusters have been broken for space years. Donāt even get me started. Beep boop.
KEVIN
I can carry him.
SPACE CARRIE
Thatās great, Kevin! Henry, Kevin says he can put you in his backpack. Itās Time Lord techā¦ bigger on the inside. How do you think heās got a frigginā tuba in there?
KEVIN
Itāll be fun.
SPACE CARRIE
See? He says heās even got a foosball table. Itāll be fun!
HENRY
Beep boop. Iām not going in the backpack. I barely know Kevin. And I donāt trust Time Lords. Beep boop.
SPACE CARRIE
But you can barely get around, and we have a helluva hike ahead of us!
HENRY
Beep boop. I guess youāll have to leave me. Just abandon poor Henry at the robot scrapyard. Just leave him for the petroleum lizardsā¦
SFX - CRICKETS
SPACE CARRIE
Are you done?
KEVIN
What the hell?
SPACE CARRIE
Kevinās right, Henry. You didnāt say āBeep boop.ā
HENRY
Beep boop. I donāt always say ābeep boop.ā Beep boop.
SOUND FX - DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN
NARRATOR -2
As Space Carrie tries to convince Henry the unruly Robot to get in the bigger-on-the-inside backpack of Kevin the mute space minstrel, the remaining daylight is waning. The King of the Down-Under Dwellers had specifically told them not to dilly-dally, for just at dark the petroleum lizards would begin their nightly hunt. Two humans and a robot would provide not only a snack for the petroleum lizardsā bellies, but lubrication for their gears and pistons. These giant machine-reptile hybrids thrive on organic lifeforms, and they havenāt had human meat for some time. [abruptly] Weāll be right back!
ANNOUNCER
At Steemstar, we know your family loves miniature golf, but have you ever played putt-puttā¦ IN SPACE?! Itās so much better than regular mini-golf, because of space of course! Bring the whole family to Steemstar Oasis Grand Space-Putt Plaza, Hotel and Ice Cream Shop today! You can bring your own jetpack or rent one of ours, just [shouted as though while falling] DONāT GET CAUGHT WITHOUT ONEā¦ Try the eighteenth hole Vortex Challenge for a chance to win one of three deadly prizesā¦ [quietly, as though taking direction] Whatās that? Weāre not going with the deadly prizes? Copy. Three wonderful prizes! Once you bring your family to the Steemstar Oasis Grand Space-Putt Plaza, Hotel and Ice Cream Shopā¦ youāll never want to leave! Brought to you by Steemstar in collaboration with Dippinā Dots, the Ice Cream of the future.
SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY
NARRATOR -3
In the glowing purple sunset, the planet Green paradise is looking anything but green to our heroes. The clouds of various vapors and rising fumes create an eerily beautiful tapestry of space colors, but Space Carrie is not distracted by the sight. The light diminishes with each minute, and Space Carrie, Kevin and Henry make their way through the treacherous trashscape as quickly as possible. After too much time spent arguing, Henry agreed to ride in Kevinās bigger-on-the-inside backpack.
SPACE CARRIE
Keep moving, Kevin, itās almost dark!!
KEVIN
Iām right behind you!
SPACE CARRIE
No time for music now! [Music stops abruptly] Letās move! I hope Captain Cork is okay!
NARRATOR -4
As the last sliver of the purple sun disappears behind the mountains of robot garbage, Space Carrie and Kevin are surrounded by strange rumblings as the petroleum lizards begin to wake from their slumber below the surface.
SPACE CARRIE
Just two hundred more yards to the rendezvous point. Donāt look back, Kevin!
NARRATOR-5
suddenly the first of the petroleum lizards emerge from the robot scraps. Each of these lizards is roughly the size of an earth school bus, and there are more than a few of them. Immediately it seems as if the petroleum lizards have spotted our heroes! As Space Carrie races for the rendezvous point with the lizards bearing down on her, she suddenly remembers that Captain Cork isnāt around to help her this time.
SPACE CARRIE
[out of breath] Crap, I looked back! Those petroleum lizards are bigger and scarier than I was expecting! Run for your life, Kevin, weāre almost there!
NARRATOR-6
But itās too late! The nearest petroleum lizard lunges at Space Carrie! In a flash, she brandishes her laser sword and with an extraordinary backflip, leaps back over the head of the towering petroleum lizard. Before the lizard realizes what is happening, Space Carrie comes down, her shimmering laser sword separating the grotesque head from the now-lifeless lizard body. The smell of motor oil fills the air, as Space Carrie and Kevin press on toward the rendezvous point.
SPACE CARRIE
More lizards are coming, and there are too many for me to fight off with just my laser sword! Fifty yards from the meeting point! Keep going!
SOUND FX - BOOM WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH
NARRATOR-7
The air is suddenly disturbed by a deafening sonic boom, followed by a mysterious wave sound. Space Carrie cannot identify where the sound is coming from, but one thing is clearā¦ The petroleum lizards donāt like it. As she looks around, she sees the robo-beasts retreating into the twilight, or else burrowing back underground. It seems our heroes have been rescued!
SPACE CARRIE
That sound! Itās making the petroleum lizards run for the hills! Itās coming from over there, from our rendezvous point!
NARRATOR-8
As they approach the rendezvous, Space Carrie finally notices the flying platform and its three small passengers. The disc hovers silently over a hole to the Down Under, and these three small creatures must be the Down-Under Dwellers themselves! A round, floating speaker floats several yards above their heads, broadcasting the strange lizard-repelling noise. The foremost in the welcome party begins to speak.
MOLE PERSON
Greetings, foolish humans! We are the Down-Under Dwellers, and we were instructed to retrieve two human foreigners and one broken old robot from this location precisely at dusk. We were told you would likely be running for your lives from the petroleum lizards, so we came prepared with our Oscillating Sonic Wave Lizard Disruptor.
SPACE CARRIE
Thanks for saving us, and the robotās in that dudeās backpack. Bigger on the inside. But just what the hell have you done with Captain Cork? I must warn youā¦ Iām a laser sword master of the 27th degree. I just decapitated one of those petroleum lizards, donāt think I canāt do the same to you.
MOLE PERSON
Stupid humans! You think we keep our brains in our heads like you do? We have defenses which your pathetic human minds cannot comprehend. Besides, if you killed us, who would show you the way to your Captain? Weāre the welcome party. We come in peaceā¦ this time. Now come with us!
SOUND FX - DUN DUN DUNNNNNN
NARRATOR-9
What Space Carrie and Kevin donāt know about the Down-Under Dwelling mole people living under the Robot Scrapyard is that they are a notoriously rude and inconsiderate people. It is said that they evolved from engineers living on the planet who were obsessed with robot salvage. Their communication is based on efficiency, and social niceties are rarely considered. Now, our heroes accompany the mole people down into their dark hole on their sophisticated hover-lift. Whatās in store for Space Carrie Down Under the Robot Scrapyard, and will she find Captain Cork? Find out after this!
ANNOUNCER
[REGGAE MUSIC UNDERSCORES]
Hey mon! Tired of the space fussinā and fightinā? When I and I just need to relax and chill, I always reach for the Steemstar space grass, mon! Smoke it, eat it, rub it on your face! In no time youāll be flying in spaceā¦ even if youāre not! Steemstar Space Grass!
SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY
NARRATOR-10
As the Hoverlift floats deeper and deeper beneath the surface of the Robot Scrapyard, Space Carrie attempts to question the mole people, to which one replies:
MOLE PERSON
Shut up! We donāt have to answer your questions!
NARRATOR-11
After quite a long descent, our heroes finally reach the bottom of the lift chamber, and they are led into a hall that is not at all what they expected. Everything is vividly illuminated with fluorescent light, and busy mole people are everywhere. Drones fly back and forth along the ceiling of the chamber, occasionally dropping objects into seemingly random tubes. The beep and whirring of instruments can be heard. Space Carrie attempts to take in her surroundings.
SPACE CARRIE
What is this place?
MOLE PERSON
Always with the what is this place! Every frigging time we bring someone down here, right off the bat, āWhat is this placeā? Iām sick of it! Cover for me, you guys, Iām going home to cool off!
NARRATOR-12
As their rescuer and escort storms off, the secondary mole person quickly steps in to take his place.
SPACE CARRIE
Geez, what was that guyās problem?
MOLE PERSON 2
Watch it, lady! Youāre on thin ice after that what is this place crackā¦ Thereās supposed to be a robot. Where the hellās the robot?
SPACE CARRIE
Oh itās a funny story, really. Kevin there, heās my space minstrel. Heās got all sorts of musical instruments that he carries around, and his backpack is bigger on the inside. The robot is actually in the backpack. He doesnāt talk, but heās great company. Kevin that is. Henryās great company too, but he talks too much--
MOLE PERSON 2
I thought you said it was a funny story.
SPACE CARRIE
Iāll just be quiet.
SOUND FX - BATMAN SEGWAY
MOLE PERSON 2
Here we are, just outside the great throne room. King Pilo will decide your fate.
SPACE CARRIE
Whatever you say. Kevin, better get Henry out of the backpack now.
KEVIN
Coming right up.
SOUND FX - ZZZZZIP
HENRY
Beep boop. You know? It really is pretty nice in there. Beep boop.
SPACE CARRIE
Just be glad you missed the petroleum lizards.
HENRY
Beep boop. So where are we now? Underground I presume? Beep boop.
SPACE CARRIE
Just through there is the throne room, and hopefully the Captain.
NARRATOR -13
The door suddenly swings open, revealing the large throne room and the unexpected chaos within. Captain Cork is locked in a heated game of ping-pong with Pilo, King of the Down-Under Dwellers. There are numerous empty bottles of wine scattered around the room.
ACTOR NOTE: Cork and Pilo are totally hammered in this scene, and having a great time. Think old college buddies reunion. Remember to speak clearly, even though drunk (for the audience ;)
CAPTAIN CORK
Space Carrie!! How the hell are you?!
SPACE CARRIE
Whatās going on here?
PILO
[cheerful] Welcome to my beautiful kingdom, Space Carrie! I am King Pilo!
CAPTAIN CORK
Oooh! Pilo! This is the guy I was telling you about! He plays live music wherever we go! Hit it, Kevin!
KEVIN
Rock n Roll
PILO
No kidding! This guy really rocks! You said you picked him off of Space Beard, right?
SPACE CARRIE
I defeated Space Beard singlehandedly with my laser sword.
PILO
Yeah, I heard about you and your laser sword. Hey Corkie, my crew told me that this little lady decapitated a petroleum lizard up above, all on her own.
CAPTAIN CORK
Thatās what I was trying to tell you. Sheās an actual laser sword master.
PILO
But I thought they were all killed off in the Great Space Crusades.
CAPTAIN CORK
Well it looks like at least one survived.
PILO
It really is a pleasure, Space Carrie. Fancy a game of ping-pong?
HENRY
Beep boop. How much wine did you two drink? Beep boop.
PILO
Stupid robot, youāre just jealous because youāll never know the joys of inebriation.
HENRY
Beep boop. I know what itās like to be dizzy and confused. My wheels are still broken. Beep boop.
PILO
Pepe! I need you! Get in here!
SOUND FX - QUICK FOOTSTEPS
PEPE
How can I assist you, your majesty?
PILO
This archaic robot needs a makeover. New wheels, hover-thrusters, holographic comm setup, the whole works. Go ahead and pimp this robot. Spare no expense.
PEPE
Yes, your majesty. I will deliver this junk robot right away to the robot salon and day spa. Youāll scarcely be able to recognize it when theyāre done.
PILO
Excellent, Pepe! Before you go, fancy a game of Ping-pong?
PEPE
I donāt know, your majestyā¦ Iām very busy making final preparations for the revolution.
PILO
Weāll talk about that later, Pepe! Space Carrie, Kevin, Iād like you to meet Pepe, my number one guy! We rescued him from the resort side of the planet years ago. He was born and bred for service work in the massive resorts of Green Paradise, but we got him out of there, poor little buggerā¦ now heās my number one mate!
PEPE
Iām extremely indifferent to meeting you, Space Carrie.
PILO
Pepe. Space Carrie is a laser sword master.
PEPE
Is that so? In that case, Iām slightly happier to have made your acquaintance. Your majesty, the generals are all assembled in the conference hall. They await your briefing. The Revolution is nearly underway! Viva el robot de chatarra!
SPACE CARRIE
Wait wait wait! You guys have to catch me up here. You clearly know each other so, what, was this all some kind of prank?
CAPTAIN CORK
Yep! This old joker really had me for a minute there. Me and Pilo are old college buddies! He used to block for me in my Space Ball days. He may be a little guy, but heās dense.
PILO
Speaking of dents, howās that junky old Steem Starship of yours, Corky?
CAPTAIN CORK
Still getting me where I need to go! You were right about that wine, Pilo. Best I ever had!
They take this wine from the Green Paradise resorts. That purple bottle over there in the corner had a 1 million doge price tag on it.
PILO
As much as Iāve enjoyed our ping-ponging and binge drinking, we probably better get down to business. Check out this laser, Corky!
CAPTAIN CORK
Iāve never seen one like that beforeā¦ what is it?
PILO
Thatās my patented Sober Up Beam! Alright! SOBER UP!!
CAPTAIN CORK
No! I donāt wanna go back!
SOUND FX - ZZAAAPPP!
CAPTAIN CORK
Ughh. You ought to call it a Hangover Beam. Alright, hand it over. Iām gonna zap you now.
PILO
Not a chance! Iām the King, I donāt need to sober up! Letās go, mates! Revolution time!
SPACE CARRIE
Here we go againā¦
SOUND FX - SEGWAY
NARRATOR -14
What sort of revolution do the Down Under Dwellers have in the works, and where do Captain Cork and Space Carrie fit in? Find out after this!
ANNOUNCER
Got a job thatās a little much for the ole personal jetpack and utility laser? When powerās what you need, call Steemstar Heavy Space Equipment Rental. Anything from a Compact SpaceCat Asteroid Digger to an Industrial Star Destroyerā¦ Steemstarās got it! Youāre only as good as your tools, and these tools are YUGE!!!
SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY
NARRATOR -15
Now, our heroes are gathered with a large group at a conference table as King Pilo prepares to brief his generals on the Revolution, which just so happens to be starting right when Space Carrie and Captain Cork arrived on the planet. Space Carrie has about a gazillion questions, but was told to keep quiet until the question and answer portion of the briefing.
PILO
Alright, men! As you know, weāve shared this planet for generations in relative peace with the Green Paradise Resort Corporation. Weāve never gotten in their way, never stolen more than we feel weāre owed. Some of our best, including you, General Flinkinflatt, and you, General Klobbitywink, were rescued as children from Green Paradise. Rescued from a life of scraps and servitude and brought to live in freedom in the Land of the Down Under Dwellers. But now that freedom is being threatened by those greedy Green Paradise bastards. Weāve got intel through verifiable channels, that one space week from today, theyāve got plans to start the Demolition of the Robot Scrapyard.
SOUND FX - SURPRISED RUMBLING
Thatās right, the time has come for action! If we care about our home, we must defeat the Green Paradise Resort Corporation! Iām proud to announce that weāve recruited to powerful new allies in the fight for our lives! I present Space Carrie, Laser Sword Master from afar, and Captain Cork, my old college mate. Heās gonna be our laser expert. And this delightful feller whoās been playing music for us is Kevin. He pretty much just plays music.
SPACE CARRIE
Did he just say that he recruited us?
CAPTAIN CORK
Yeah, donāt worry about it. Weāll help these mole people out, then be on our way.
PILO
[continuing] Even if this war takes space years, we will fight to the end, we will have our victory, and FREEDOM!!!
NARRATOR -16
What has Captain Cork gotten Space Carrie into this time? I mean he never even asked Space Carrie if she wanted to be involved in a large-scale interplanetary revolution, but after all, thatās the calling of a laser sword master. To Help the Needy when the Needy Need Help! It looks like our heroes will ally with the Down-Under Dwellers in their effort to defeat the evil Green Paradise Corporation. They may have paid gazillions to name the Planet Green Paradise, but they were about to have their hats handed to them by a bunch of down-under-dwelling mole people. Stay tuned for more adventures next time, on Space Carrieās Adventures in Space!
SOUND FX - STEEMSTAR FOR YOUR FAMILY
END OF EPISODE
END
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