You should be my role model and not my friend

When children enter puberty, they seek to be separated from their parents. They want to realize their own ideas, go their own way - and still parents should take on a role model function. As a teenager, teenagers do not want their parents. This seems embarrassing and inappropriate.

You want to accompany your daughter or your son on your first visit to a disco? That will probably meet with little pleasure. Because even if teenagers are still oriented towards their parents, they want and need to have their own experiences and experience themselves as separated from the parents personalities.

Hi buddy!

There are parents who are very proud to be their child's best friend. They meet their child at eye level, undertake with them all sorts of things: from the disco visit to the purchase of clothes everything is in it. What parents do in reality, however, is dramatic: they give up their educational task, refuse their child as a role model, moral authority and respect person. But that's what teenagers need, who are breaking new ground to develop their own identity. Although they often do not admit it, young people need the advice and support of their parents. This often happens not so much in conversation, but by imitation. The adolescents look after behaviors without being aware of them. If you deprive your child of the opportunity to orient themselves on you and set no limits as a "buddy", you may lose your grip in search of it someday. Because adolescents who are not restricted by parental rules, in the truest sense of the word limitless. The road to inappropriate social behavior, drug use or crime is prepared - because children and young people do almost everything to reach the limits, they are vital for survival.

Parents can be very embarrassing

There is little worse for a teenager than parents who try to mutate into teenagers to match their children. Avoid anything that makes you seem ridiculous: Torn jeans, dyed hair, the current buzzwords of youth or a new piercing are indeed among young people, in parents but this is less liked and perceived as "really wrong". When you become embarrassing to your child, something serious happens: your child loses respect for you and begins to despise you - and that has consequences. You lose the influence on your child, it does not take you more seriously and you lose the role model function. Your child is looking for new role models - actors, athletes, daring older friends, and they're not always good at building your child's character.

Parents as a friction surface and moral authority

Parents are the sparring partners of their children, the first practice field they try out. This also includes being against it. This behavior begins in early childhood and has its peak for the first time in the defiance phase. What happens if I disagree with my parents? Will I continue to be loved? The task as a friction surface and counterpart keep the parents always. Even grown-up children use their parents to rub themselves and thereby better filter out their own wishes and ideas. Because often you only realize what you want when you talk to someone who thinks completely differently. At the same time, parents are also important clues for their child: what is good, what is bad, what can I do, what is forbidden? Children learn these moral rules early on, and their parents shape their morals, and with them their consciences. Even if the foundation is already established in early childhood, even teenagers need parents to check their own actions.

How do parents behave properly?

Meanwhile, the so-called authoritative parenting style is considered the optimal blend of warmth and understanding combined with consistency and firm rules. A big point is also the granting of independence, adapted to the age. Children can decide what they want to wear, teenagers are given a monthly budget to buy clothes to their liking. This shows respect for the children and strengthens their self-confidence. The insistence on clear structures and the observance of agreements and rules offers especially teenagers a firm frame in which they can move safely. The emotional warmth that is part of this parenting style also gives the young person the opportunity to rub against their parents and confront them - without fear of being rejected or rejected. If this style of parenting is used from the start, it usually rarely leads to serious and unsolvable conflicts between parent and child. Rather, the parents convey that they take part in the child, without going to his level.

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• The shared Icecream as a guarantee for a good mood

• play like Daddy

• Your Child will be 3 now its getting really funny

• The pace of life

• Dad can do it too

• the first (BOY)friend of the daughter