Thoughts from the Front Lines: Why Do We Think Removing Hardship Makes Us Happy?
There is a pervasive thought process in our society that women are being denied happiness in life because they're either made slaves to their family by having children or they aren't being properly recognized in the workplace.
It's strange that happiness is being tied to becoming a powerful professional, as if that's going to bring women the freedom and joy they deserve in life. If women weren't being forced to have children or weren't being blocked from rising to the highest levels of their profession, the thought seems to go, then the unhappiness and discontent many women feel would go away. There's a belief that circumstances must be altered at all costs to finally give women a chance at the kind of happiness that men supposedly have more of.
But is happiness really supposed to be at the mercy of our life's circumstances?
"Too Hard" Is A Matter Of Perspective
There's incredible irony in women looking down on motherhood as Too Hard while setting their sights on draining career positions. Like, say, the four year job that ages everyone in it by ten: the Presidency. Talk about hard. But having kids is slavery?
Now, especially when coming off a week of no sleep I would freely admit having babies and raising them is not always a relaxing day at the spa. But when I was working I didn't find it particularly fun or relaxing either. To act as if being home with children is demeaning drudgery but having a powerful office job is some great freedom to sacrifice those children for seems short-sighted at best. Women shouting defiantly about how their body is their choice actually HAVE that "choice" right now and don't seem like very happy people. Probably because they may not have the responsibility of children but that doesn't make their life particularly awesome.
Most peoples' lives are essentially a series of tests and tasks and our perception of the routine is entirely dependent on our attitudes, not so much the specific circumstances. As special as we all like to think we are, we tend to face very mundane lives with plenty of hardship to go around regardless of what path we choose. An office worker is stuck in the same roundabout of routine tasks as a mother, just with a different set of requirements and rewards. Therefore, a woman's happiness with her position in life isn't about her circumstances, but how she decides to see them.
Everyone Has Something They Could Struggle With
Everybody has something in their life that's less than ideal. Everyone has to wrestle with hard things. There's no way to get rid of them all or avoid every task that we might not want to do. Ultimately, I think all women (and men) want to be at peace with where they are in life and with what their daily dose of mundane tasks are. If we want that peace, the answer is not to try to manipulate the universe to remove everything that might make us struggle a little. It's not to get rid of good things like children because we think they're going to hold us back and having them will be hard work. It's up to us to choose whether we're going to find the joy in life regardless of circumstances or whether we're going to remain discontented, unhappy people regardless of what concessions we get. Removing hardships (children, glass ceilings, you name it) doesn't make us happy. Deciding to be happy makes us happy.
Deciding to be happy with what is good makes us happy.
I love this! I 100% agree. Being happy is a choice. There was a point in my life that I literally had to say every morning when I got up "today I will be happy, today will be a good day"! Being happy, sad, angry or any other feeling is a choice that we have to make. Good article @lturner!
Thanks , @essentialoilmom! I definitely have days when I have to get up and take a deep breath and say, "Today is going to be a good day and I am going to be cheerful." If I don't, it's amazing how I just get sadder and sadder. Good for you in making that effort to be happy instead of letting yourself be a grump! You're a good example.
❤️
Hello Essentialoilmom
Nice to meet u. Liked yr remark.
I write about #healthy #kids and #nutritious foods. Enjoy yr Steemit day.
One of the best posts I've read in the last 2 days (and I've read over 15 posts). I tend to agree that attaining a High-Powered Position is not going to necessarily make a woman super-happy !
I suppose it depends on what her specific job duties are, along with Satisfaction derived. And I'd say that one's co-workers (and whether they're backstabbing, snarky types or Decent human beings) comes into play, also.
I once worked (in a healthcare setting/Group home) with a Lady who just didn't know how to be a leader, or get along w/others. No one felt their contribution was valued, for the most part (as she NEVER thanked anyone -- and so Morale, as a result, took a nosedive [to the extreme ].
So .. job satisfaction really will depend upon the #Job Setting
Thank you!
Job setting...
Well, then, here's the issue: no matter what the work or home situation, there is going to be something less than ideal. That's what I was considering here. In my home situation, there are many things that could allow me to let my morale take a nosedive. The same was true when I was working outside the home. In the end, it really is the way I respond more than the job setting I'm in that determines how satisfied and happy I am with where I am.
i love this i recently came home from a job i liked but i liked being a mother more. i find it an honor to be able to be home with my kids full time. it sure helps with the house work and homeschooling being home. i feel so fulfilled to know that i get to be in my kids lifes from the minute they wake up to the moment they go to sleep. enjoy life to the fullest is my motto
Oh my goodness, yes. I don't know how I would ever catch up with the housework if I were gone, let alone throwing schooling into the mix!
Nice post!
I am pleased to announce that your post has been featured in Max Curation Edition No.6 published on Steemit.
You can take a look at it HERE.
Congratulations! Upvoted and resteemed.
I came to visit because of this curation and I'm very happy to see a post that goes along with my fitinfun philosophy of life. This is so cool!
Thanks for visiting! I found your post very interesting also and was really glad to see a happy ending to it. Congratulations on being able to move away from the hospital and NOT get your name on the chapel quilt!
Thank you! I did not realize I had the goal at the time but I'm sure glad I made it too. What a boost this is for me today! And an uplifting post from you too :)
Thank you, @maxabit! I checked out the Max Curation Edition and think it's a really interesting idea. I'll be following to get a chance to read interesting content from people I probably otherwise wouldn't be able to find easily.
You're welcome! Please do keep checking out the editions for good posts and content from writers like you!
This post recieved a vote from @minnowpond. For more information click https://steemit.com/steemit/@minnowpond/boost-your-rewards-with-minnowpond
This post recieved a vote from @minnowpond. For more information click https://steemit.com/steemit/@minnowpond/boost-your-rewards-with-minnowpond
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by ironshield from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
This post was resteemed by @resteembot!
Good Luck!
Learn more about the @resteembot project in the introduction post.
Your post was resteemed thanks to @ironshield
Check out the other content resteemed by @resteembot.
Some of it is really cool!
This post has received a 0.45 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
Whatever @resteembot resteems, I resteem too!
I am a new, simple to use and cheap resteeming bot
I will automatically resteem posts resteemed by @resteembot until 2017-09-01 00:00:01 +00:00
If you want to read more about me, read my introduction post.