NIP THE CAT - Original Fiction Script - Episode 4

Dialogue with deadpan zip as Nip deals with his human companions.

It's been around 2 months since I posted episode 3, so for those who want to read previous episodes......

1

https://steemit.com/fiction/@steeminganarchy/nip-the-cat-new-original-fiction-series-premier 

2

https://steemit.com/fiction/@steeminganarchy/nip-the-cat-original-fiction-episode-2

3  

https://steemit.com/fiction/@steeminganarchy/nip-the-cat-original-fiction-episode-3 

Episode 4 - Scene 1

Rich is proudly tending to some tomato plants in his front yard.  Nip is patiently stalking a bird.    

Rich (examining tomatoes):  Almost ripe! I can’t wait!
Nip:  When chicken starts growing on trees, I’ll share your enthusiasm.

Rich:  And I know you don’t like tomato, so I’ll get the lion’s share.
Nip:  I have a sneaking suspicion that you won’t.

Rizzo approaches.

Rizzo:  Hey neighbor! (starts grabbing tomato)
Rich:  They’re not ready yet!

Nip:  Told ya.    
Rizzo:  Ok, ok, I can wait, I guess.

Nip:  In perpetuity, I hope…..preferably at your own house.
Rich:  So what brings you by?

Rizzo:  I just spent the last 48 hours winning a virtual reality game tournament!   
Nip:  I just spent the last 48 hours in real reality.  You should try it sometime.

Rich:  What kind of game?
Rizzo:  It’s called Galactic Haggler….

Nip:  Sounds right up your alley.
Rizzo:  You compete against other people to get the best prices in all kinds of places and time periods.    

Rich:  So what did ya win?
Rizzo:  Free entry into the next tournament.    

Nip:  What is this world coming to?

A shady looking character with a badge shows up.

Shady Character:  Hey, is this your place?
Nip:  None of your business.  And what’s with the badge? We’re not having a costume party.   

Rich:  Sure is.    
Shady Character:  I’m with city code enforcement, and it looks like you’ve got an illegal garden here.    

Rizzo:  Mind if I grab some grub inside? I’m starved.    

Nip (face-paw):  Great friend.  Why don’t you use your otherworldly haggling skills and get this badge-toting bully away from here?

Rizzo scurries into Rich’s house.

Rich:  Oh my, I didn’t know having a garden was a crime.
Nip:  It’s not, and this guy doesn’t seem to know that.    

Shady Character:  Ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.  I’m afraid I’ll have to fine you.
Nip:  Speaking of ignorance….don't you know that coercing people is wrong?

Rich:  Are you joking?
Shady Character:  We don’t joke.

Nip:  Except for the sick joke of coercing people, stealing from them, and calling it legitimate.  There’s that…..
Shady Character:  What’s your name?

Nip:  Victim.    

Shady character hands ticket to Rich.  

Shady Character:  Before I go, mind if I grab a tomato?

Nip double-face-paws

Scene 2

The next day, at his office job, Rich is working diligently at his desk behind mountains of papers.    

Rich (shocked):  That can’t be right!

A nosy neighbor asks:  What’s that?
Rich:  These numbers are way off!

Nosy Neighbor:  How long have you worked here?
Rich:  Too long, apparently.  I’d better bring this up to Mr. Wash right away!

Nosy Neighbor:  I wouldn’t do that if I were you. 

Rich:  Why not?
Nosy Neighbor:  You’ll see.

Rich:  Is that supposed to be helpful?   
Nosy Neighbor (smug, feet on desk):  Not really.

Rich walks to the office of his supervisor, Mr. Wash, and knocks fervently.  Mr. Wash jolts awake from a nap, wipes drool from mouth, turns on pie charts on wall screen, walks over to door, cracks it open.

Mr. Wash (through door crack):  I’m terribly busy.    
Rich:  I understand that, sir, but I’ve got something urgent to bring to your attention.

Mr. Wash:  What’s your name?
Rich:  Rich.    

Mr. Wash (confused):  Are you sure?
Rich:  What?

Mr. Wash:  Oh, very well, come in and make it snappy.    

Rich walks in, glances at pie chart on wall screen, takes a seat opposite Mr. Wash at desk.

Rich:  Why are you looking at data from the 80s, sir?

Mr. Wash quickly grabs remote, shuts off wall screen.    

Mr. Wash (defensive):  That doesn’t concern you.  Now, what brings you by?

Rich:  Well, I was reviewing the numbers of some of our government contractor clients and I’m finding some discrepancies.
Mr. Wash (feigning shock, grasping chest):  Really? Do tell….

Rich:  At least a few billion discrepancies, and I’m not even halfway through.    
Mr. Wash:  And why do you think those discrepancies are there?

Rich:  Well, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was some money laundering going on, not to mention some skimming.    

Mr. Wash:  Well, thank you for bringing this to my attention.  I’ll look into it right away.  I must get going now, I’m terribly busy.

Rich:  Um, ok...don’t you wanna know who the clients are? 

Mr. Wash:  I’ll look into it, don’t worry. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention…..we won’t be using paper records anymore.  There will be a document disposal service coming today to start the transition to paperless.    

Rich:  Uh, but shouldn’t we have paper records, at least until these discrepancies get cleared up?
Mr. Wash (shrugs):  New company policy, what can I say?

Rich:  Ok, well, I won’t keep you any longer.    

Rich walks out.  Mr. Wash gets on his phone.   

Mr. Wash:  Pay Rich a visit.
Phone Voice:  I don’t know who that is.    

Mr. Wash:  That’s why there are name placards on desks…..get everything.

Click.    

Lays head on desk again.    

20 minutes later, Rich gets a visit at his desk from a guy with big red cart.

Cart Guy:  Document disposal service.
Rich:  I’m kind of busy.

Cart Guy:  Well, congratulations, now you’re not busy anymore.

Scene 3

A few days later, Rich and Nip are lounging on the couch, when the doorbell rings.

Nip:  Whoever it is, they’re using common courtesy, so we know it’s not Rizzo or a rights-violator.

Rich is pleasantly surprised to see Asha at the door.

Rich:  Asha, come on in!   
Asha:  I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d drop in.  How are you?

Rich:  It’s been kind of a weird week.
Asha:  Why’s that?

Nip:  A guy in a ridiculous costume is extorting him.
Rich:  Some code enforcer showed up and I got fined for having an illegal garden.    

Asha (jaw drops):  You’re joking. 

Nip:  Jokes should never be that cruel.
Asha:  You’re not gonna pay it, are you?

Rich:  What choice do I have?
Nip:  Freedom or slavery.

Asha:  Ya gotta fight this!
Rich:  How?

Asha:  There’s a voluntary group called Rights Vigilante that I’m a member of.  Whenever someone is being coerced by rights-violators, if you post a request for help, then people will show up and help you defend against the aggressors.  Just go fight it in court and have a swarm of people show up, demanding to throw the case out.    

Rich:  You’ve done this before?
Asha:  We just helped a guy get a speeding ticket thrown out last week.

Rich:  I’ll think about it.  Another thing that happened is that I found some really strange things at work.

Nip:  You work in a place where people sit in front of computers all day and don’t talk to each other.  Don’t you find that strange every day?

Rich:  There are billions of dollars that don’t add up.
Asha:  You do accounting for federal mob contractors, right?

Nip:  Well said.
Rich:  I don’t get the mob reference.   

Asha:  Cuz if you don’t pay the government, they attack you, just like any other organized crime.

Rich:  I never really looked at it like that…...Anyway, I brought this to my supervisor’s attention, and the next thing I know, all the documents from my desk are getting carted off….literally!

Asha:  I’ve got a solution for you.
Rich:  What’s that?

Asha:  Get a job that doesn’t involve the mob or other nefarious dealings.
Rich:  It’s not that easy.

Nip:  It’s cool….I’ll just go stay with Asha for a while while you sort things out.     

Asha:  Or….you could dig deeper and blow the whistle on them.  I’d help you get the word out, of course. 

Nip:  Any scenario where Asha comes over more often sounds good to me.    

To be continued…... 

Episode 5 coming soon!

Thanks for your time and attention!

Just say "NO" to slavery!

Top image is from pixnio.com