A personal letter

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Dear reader

I have been sick for a couple of days. I hope some of my regular readers noticed my unprecedented absence for a couple of days. My bed held me captive as I suffered from severe headaches, fever and nausea. I have not kept anything down since Tuesday and I'm quite weak right now. But on the mend, as this post testifies.

I've been sick like this often in my life. Rarely as severe, but my health has often suffered after a series of intense counselling situations. This week was one of those very intense situations. On Wednesday I spent 12 hours with a friend from school. After all, I am on sabbatical from ministry. What was scheduled for a three-hour conversation became 12 hours as my friend and I wrestled with the biggest decision of his life. All of this while he is operating from pain so abundant that I had no way of lifting him above the pain to see his situation clearly.

For some reason, I have the ability to feel such a person's pain so intensely that I suffer. Not as much as they do, but more than I should. This very real emotional pain has often thwarted my ability to effectively help or to sustain the effort of helping. Over the years I have become better at bearing this burden but made no traction in growing my ability to care less when listening to someone's story.

My tears after such a conversation often move me to prayer and give me the motivation to take some kind of action.It causes me to spend many hours pondering someone's challenge and seek wisdom regarding their plight. I have been good in doing this and have helped many but I need to find a sustainable way to do this. This is the reason for these 6 months of sabbatical...

So, I am slowly lifting my head and I get back to Steemit with great excitement. Only to be greeted by ever lower Steem prices. And my first downvote ever!

I thought I lived in a space where this would not happen to me. I do not have enough money nor do I take on subjects in a way that offends. This was one area where I thought I was under the radar and wanted to be under the radar. However, my lowkey approach did not safeguard me and has kept whales and other such rumoured creatures at a distance too. 😇

The account that downvoted me is brand new. And apparently downvoted me because I use votebots. This is pure malice. 😈 And I have absolutely no need for engaging with such things.

I reported this guy to @steemcleaners and muted his account. Him? I have an inability to see such malice in a woman. Called it my blind spot that I embrace...

I have read nothing positive about the downvote function. It seems the best I can do when someone offends me, is to ignore and avoid that person. If Steemit is about building community then not engaging with someone must be a severe punishment.

The continued low prices are starting to get to me. I read contrasting opinions all the time. Who is right? Do we have a future here?

Please tell me what you think! After three days of not posting my next week will be pretty barren and I will need every motivation to persevere.

@reonlouw

Pic above to the right created as a subscriber of Presenter Media