Lost In Morgue Land: Welcome (Part 1)

Image from: pxhere.com

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It is cold in here. 

And what's that smell? Ugh, it smells like hospital, but why is it dark? And tight? And I don't seem to be able to move.

Where the hell am I? How long was I out? And what was I doing before everyting blacked out?

Oh! I can hear something. Great! Now someone is going to get me out.

Steps and metalic clinging sounds keep coming closer.

A small door opens and...

Ah! Light, good, it must be the electrician that came to fix the lighting. But why can't I see anything? What is this thing around me? And why does light come in only through this weird zip line?

Is this a sleeping bag I am in? I don't remember going camping. I was, I was... 

Where was I last night?

The bag starts rocking.

Hey! Hey! Careful with that! Don't you know there is someone in here, mister? Or... lady? Or whatever you are! 

A zipper is going down and the bag now opens.

Aaah! Phew! Air! White ceiling, white lights, white uniform guys. This I don't like.

- Meet our Jon Doe here. ID remains unknown. No cell phone, no wallet, no nothing. Arrived last night. Autopsy revealed death by stabbing, probably mugger attack, considering he was found lying in an alley behind the parking space of Bordeaux.

- The posh strip club all those rich asses go to?

- Do you know any other places around here with that name?

- ...

- So I figured. It seems like our poor guy here went to have some fun and steal hours away from his wife. Later, as he was getting out to find his car, some swell fellow jumped on him, things got a bit out of hand and our victim ended up with a beautiful scar collection in his chest and abdomen. Sloppy job, if you want my opinion. Look at those multiple hits, too shallow to end him quick. He suffered in vain, although our culprit could have hit the right spot and get the job done with the less pain and blood possible.

- If I had to choose, I'd rather spend the night with that wife, no matter how ugly, whiny or bitch she was.

- Me too my friend, me too. 

- So, what are we doing with him?

- He is cleaned up, stitched up and ready for the "lost and found". Help me move him.

- Are you coming over for the game tonight?

- No, man. Laura's having her parents for dinner tonight. I can't get away.

- Pff! That's why I'm never getting married Rick. No need to have people I don't like sit at my table because their daughter is sleeping on my bed.

- Aaaw! You are so romantic, Jim. Enjoy that while you're still young. And come on, let's put him in his new bedroom and get out, shift ends in 5'.

Another metallic door opens. A long tray is pulled out, the bag is placed there, the tray is pushed back in, door closes and it gets dark again.

Dead? Stabbed? Mugged? O-oh! I'm fucked up. What am I going to tell Lucy now? And Bordeaux? I was there last night? That's why I still have this taste of lipstick in my mouth? For a moment I thought some pervert had kidnapped me and dressed me up like a woman.

Pfff, Jeez! Dead! Hey John, you're dead. How does it feel now, you asshole? Dead? Dead! I had so many appointments today. I'm sure the whole company will have been looking for me. And they're all worried about me... and they are praying nothing bad happened to me. And they spent the whole day looking at the door and waiting for me to come, but I never came. And then they thought I went on another surprise fuck-trips, that I pretend to be sudden, business meetings and I'll be back in a couple of days like I always do... only I won't this time.

I wonder how much that new secretary, Sandra, is worried. She has a nice ass. Too bad I 'll never have the chance to grab it now... because I'm dead. Can you believe it?

And if I'm dead, why am I still here? Aren't I supposed to go to Heaven? I mean, I cheated and stole and lied a bit, but... I am a good person. I send those donation checks every Christmas and get drunk at those charity events almost every month.

I should have been in Heaven now... at least at the doorstep... mat... doghouse? I'm fine with that! I can live in the doghouse outside Heaven. Just don't keep me here. It's too confined. And cold. And I don't mind the darkness, but some scented candles would have made it so much cozier in here. Just saying...

Nothing but silence.

Fine! I'll shut up now! And stay in the "lost and found" drawer of mine! "Lost and found"? Once Lucy discovers I'm here I'll tell you what is "lost and found".

And is this how eternity will be like from now on? I'm staying here for ever?

Relax. Relax John! This is just another complication. You've dealt with enough of those so far. What makes it any different now? The fact that you're zipped up in a plastic bag and put into a freezer? 

You are still a genius, you'll figure something out. 

But for the time being, relax and try to get some sleep... if corpses can sleep of course.

To be continued...

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*Original story by @ruth-girl - Steemit, 2018

I hope you enjoyed my new attempt to write something longer than a vignette. I honestly don't know how many episodes this one is going to take, at a rough guess 3-4 more are definitely coming. If you are into black humor and sarcasm, I'd appreciate your comments and feedback.

PS: If you liked that story, perhaps you could pay a visit to @patschwork's blog (an artist with the most romantically, morbid paintings I have seen).

 

Thank you so much for your time!

Until my next post,
Steem on and keep smiling, people!