The Siren of the Sea – (PowerHouseCreatives Contest)
Below is my entry for this week’s PowerHouseCreatives Contest by @zord189. I have not used any timing app before, (I don’t know… maybe I shouldn’t mention this because I know a lot of people love this kind of writing), and I don’t plan to use it again if I can help it. I don’t understand what the value of trying to type as much as you can, as fast as you can, while also thinking at the same time what words you will write next. I just don’t get what doing this sort of exercise helps, or what it’s attempting to teach.
I mean, I get the feeling there must be something of value in doing this kind of writing exercise, but I’m unable to recognize what it may be. I can only think it may serve some purpose if one wanted a career where they’d be writing little stories for commercial products, and it was mandatory that they had to write the little story in 5 minutes or less, no exceptions.
I personally would just get a different kind of writing job. Anyway, here is what I came up with, and it’s the main reason I don’t care for 5 minute writing – It’s unfinished. That irks me.
Also, I’m not sure what mode it was in, but the words started to change color if you weren’t typing for about 3 to 5 seconds, and I got booted on my first try and had to start again. This is based on the prompt for a convincing mythological creature story.
I did make corrections for misspellings and grammar, but other than that, this is what I wrote for this contest entry:
The Siren of the Sea
One evening while I was out with my boat, I must have hit my head on something, because I think I lost consciousness for a good while. You see, I had this experience that happened, or it was a dream. I would like to think it's a dream, but I believe I actually may have met up with a Nymph, or Siren of the sea.
So anyway, what happened that night was that I went to find something in the cabin of the boat, and all of a sudden a strong light filled it from the outside. I rushed up to see what was going on and then I heard a sweet voice, the voice of an angel.
It turned out to be the form that was lit up sort of like a lava lamp, but in a silky flowing kind of way.
So, I heard her say to me, "Follow me, follow me,” so I got scared at that point. But then she scooped me up and flew off with me and then dove into the water. She took me to an underwater cave, and there were bones of dead men all over the ground surrounding a castle.
This isn’t necessary, but I feel that I’d like to add a little poem I wrote AFTER the 5 minute story was done, based on the content of the story. Hope you like it. I think it gives the story a little more light and makes me feel better:
When I sailed alone once, she beckoned to me.
“Come with me sir, to my lodging I go,
And if you come with me, sweet pleasure you’ll know.”
I, like a school boy stricken with lust
Knew I should go back, but go forward I must.
Her song, it beguiled me and brought me to madness.
When I looked and then saw such incredible sadness.
The bones of brave sailors, washed up on her shore;
They followed as I have; we’re here evermore.
That’s all for this one folks!
The Siren of the Sea © free-reign 2019
Sources for images used in this post:
Nymph/Siren: Image by AndyFaeth from Pixabay
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I LOVE freewriting! As I am writing I think what I've put down is crap. Then I walk away from it and come back to find my story is loaded with stuff I had no idea I was putting in there while I wrote. Your story is great! The trick is to let go, write without judgment, and see what comes out. I think your story is very good!
I know you didn't like doing it, but check out @mariannewest's daily freewrite challenge, read some of the other entries, and try it again. I write for 4:30 then proofread for as long as I have to without making changes to the story. You definitely get better at it. Coming up with a mythological creature is a whole other level and you did marvelously well, evidenced by the fabulous poem you wrote afterwards.
That's interesting! Have you incorporated this into your regular routine when you sit down to start writing something new, or have you thought about incorporating it? I can understand how something like you describe would work, as I've seen it myself with writing music, and in the mix I discover how two tracks together produce sweet sounds that surprise me sometimes.
I'm not sure that would happen to me with writing stories though, because it was somewhat of a stressful exercise for me. Thanks for the encouraging words!
I understand! I just tried to use the most dangerous writing app for the first time, and it was very stressful! For @mariannewest's freewrites the rules are very loose. And I almost always surprise myself with what comes out. Try it, it's a great community @freewritehouse, I think you might like it. No pressure.
Excellent story @free-reign, it reminds me that we all yearn to meet in the sea with that sweet mermaid, just to wreck and realize that she is not there. Also at the end of poetry you gave a magical touch.
Thank you @felixgarciap! Yes, the sea has a powerful pull, especially for adventurers and those who love what she has to offer, but we must always treat her with respect!
Bravo for jumping in! I am always intimidated to even think about trying this style of timed writing, but it's always fun to see what everyone comes up with. The poem at the end is a nice touch, as well. :)
Thanks! I'm glad that I did it and now know what it's like. In some ways it was like I expected, but having to stop at a point I didn't want to, is probably what I don't like about it the most. I've been given the idea from responses that doing it could prove valuable to help end a writing block possibly, so I'll give it another go when that happens. :)
I absolutely love the poem! I think stories of mythological creatures are treated best in verse, and you did a bang up job with it!
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Thank you @wwwiebe and thanks for the tip! I debated with myself for a while on whether I should add the poem, but I really felt it (or I more likely) needed it after the most dangerous writing app finished slapping me around! Haha!
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+1 for making sense though, when I tried the 5min thing my usual disconnected concoction of words may have formed sentences but sentences they were not :) I think the 5 min writing works well for just quickly outlining something and maybe you must think of it in terms of 100 word story or so , are there rules to thinking of the start,middle,and end beforehand? You still need to write the words but you can have a sense of progression I guess. Then again once you start to write progression tends to go out the window and to its death.
I like that in the poem they are dead only in our realm. Well done.
I don't think I've been writing prose long enough to have had much in the way of writing blocks, but I do know it will come and bother me at some point. I think I'll try "most dangerous" again then. Of course, if one has a writing block, it might be difficult to even decide what the first words will be.
For this story, although I knew I could write the story beforehand and then just copy it into the most dangerous app, I also knew that wouldn't be fair. But I did think about what I was going to write about before starting with the app. I had a direction in mind.
How does the beginning materialize? Where does it come from? It's kinda hard to start even with the app if we can't come up with that starting direction with which to begin the 5-minute writing mess.
I think this is an awesome result for the prompt, especially using the app, @free-reign! I like the five minute writing thing as a way to get out of my own head, and let my muse take over. I tend to overthink before I even start typing, but with this my overthinking is limited to the actual typing (although I limit my backspace/correct to spelling/punctuation - otherwise I'd still be stuck on the first sentence when the timer went off...LOL!).
The poem you wrote is a beautiful addition to your siren's tale - I could totally see this story being expanded upon, with your poem as the introduction to your fable. Wonderfully done!
@tipu curate
Thank you for the nice words on my story @traciyork! I'm so silly, and it's so funny; I totally missed in zord's post announcing the contest, where it clearly says that the app's purpose is to help us get over writer's block. If I had read that part I probably wouldn't have dissed the thing the way I did! Oh well, it's too late to retract, but not too late to recognize a lesson learned! :P