Journey - A new poem - Word Poetry Challenge #19 : Journey - Contest by @jassennessaj
I felt such obsession with seeing your face
I set out on a journey to feel your embrace
I missed both your charm and your notable grace
For far too long I’d been gone from that place
The journey, not easy from where I’d begin
Was made more complex by where I had been
For not all my travels were acknowledged within
The records I carried; my contracted skin.
Yes, I was wanted either alive or dead
In the land I’d been living, with my journey ahead
I thought about you as the steps I had tread
Made me want to rest; I continued instead.
As I walked on I approached the abode
Of a friend who would help for a favor he owed
He drove a big truck on a long-hauling road
Out of the country to deliver his load
The guards who all knew him and valued his word
Looked over my records and briefly conferred
And then we were off and soon danger deterred
Nothing could keep me from milady preferred
Finally I stood at the arch of your door
I knocked to awaken the one I adore
But a man came to answer; I’d seen him before
He knew me also from the recent great war
I’d saved his life and now he’s here with you
He shuffled around and confirmed what I knew
He was your brother - his family there too
And you had just died, from a bout with the flu
I was devastated, my journey had ended
This could not be the cause my journey intended
To bury the lady I’d loved and defended
All the hope that I had has now fully descended.
mmm. Great how you have all these little twists in there and uncertainties, really sad ending but I would say from a story point of view a happy ending would maybe have let it fall to the floor.
I actually was a bit stuck on flu, why that choice, I figure it is for rhyme but if I think about it I think it makes the ending even more sad that something considered so small can cause such pain.
I really enjoy your own poetry, the spigots are good but your own shows some more imagination and creativity.
I have actually had this post open on both my work and home pcs since you posted it, so happy I finally just sat down and focused .
Want some more thoughts?
Tag your it @youhavewings, @juliamulcahy, @hyperbole
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I love writing poetry from my imagination, so much more than writing the poetic news translations in the spigots. I write them because they give me a daily opportunity to be somewhat creative in writing about subjects that are relevant in the present time, and they are a great practice tool for me.
I am so blessed to have a very active imagination, and most of my "real" poetry comes to me as a flash, sort of. I can be doing anything, and suddenly an idea pops into my head out of nowhere. A lot of them are really good, and I will drop everything and write down the idea and a couple of verses that I expand on either then, or later after I've finished whatever I was doing at the time. In contrast, if I sit down with the intention of conceiving a subject and writing a nice poem, I don't think I produce anything near as good as those that come from chance inspirations arriving.
It's always been much easier for me to explain ideas, plots and life's consequences in poetry rather than prose.
As for the "bout with the flu" being the cause of her death, the first and last picture I used I will blame for possibly misleading the readers into reading the poem as though it's occurring present-time, when actually my intent was that this was to be seen in a sort of East Berlin-type scenario when the "Iron Curtain" wall had Germany divided from the end of WWII until it was torn down.
The flu killed lots of people in the past, (not sure if it was during that specific time), so that was one reason to use it, and of course the rhyming aspect always is there.
Thanks for your comments & questions as always!
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