Choices: (Storytime Saturday)

She loved both her husbands. Emily was entirely unsure of how she’d ended up with two husbands. It hadn’t been her plan. Not once had she dreamed of growing up to get married twice. How she’d managed to keep her life together thus far without breaking was beyond her.

Of course you’ve heard of those men who kept two families separate, both of them in the dark about each other, but not a woman. How on earth would a woman do it? ‘Well,’ Emily thought, ‘I suppose I could teach you all a thing or two’

She laughed to herself as she realized that it was all coming to an end. The thing about a MAN keeping two families is that he never had to worry about the very thing that was on her mind today. A MAN never had to worry about getting pregnant. Emily, however, didn’t have that freedom.

Staring at the little blue lines on the test stick in front of her, she sighed again. What the hell was she going to do now? Two husbands, two wonderful men that she loved beyond reason and now a baby.

Emily had done nothing but think about this baby for the last two weeks. She’d avoided taking the test, but she knew. She just did. It was a feeling, a mother’s intuition, whatever you want to call it, but she knew. She was having a baby… and only one of her two husbands was the actual, biological father. She hadn’t told either of them yet.

Being a stewardess had made it easy to slip into two separate relationships without either man knowing about the other. She had started dating them right about the same time, just casually, of course. At the time Emily had been 110% sure that she wasn’t ready or interested in a long term relationship.

There was a feeling about the place, but it wasn't what you'd expect. Emily looked around the bathroom of her ‘weekend’ home. She had always referred to it as the weekend house, even though it wasn’t only for weekends. It had started out that way, when she’d first moved in here with Luke. Hell, she’d moved in without even realizing it. She’d been trying to figure out how to break things off with him when he’d handed her a key on that nice anniversary date.

When she’d tried to beg off, he’d pointed out that she was already practically living there anyway. She had stuff in the closet and she hadn’t been to her California apartment in months at that point. It always just made more sense to stay over at Luke’s place. The pristine white and chrome apartment. Clean, sharp and ‘just so’ pretty much just like Luke. She enjoyed their time together and craved him after a few days or weeks apart. She still hadn’t told him about Seth.

Seth… the comfy cozy guy, the guy who felt like home. Her east coast mountain guy. She looked at the test in her hand again and wondered which of her husbands was the father. Looking around the immaculate bathroom, she tried to imagine a child living here. Not a baby. Babies could deal with anything, but a toddler. She wondered how Luke would handle having a toddler with sticky fingers and messy clothes running around his spotless place.

A slow smile spread across her face as she let her mind wander back to Seth’s place. The cozy cabin like home up in the mountains. She could totally see kids running around his place. The wood floors covered with the colorful braided rugs that had belonged to his grandmother.

The stamp on the envelope in her hand was a reminder of how far off track she’d gotten with this life. Seth had actually sent a love letter to her West Coast address as a surprise. He wanted them to talk about starting a family. If he only knew.

It was time to decide. She’d always dreamed of being a mother, but not like this. Not whilst working all the time, splitting her time between two lives. It was time to let something go. To finally admit to herself and to both of her husbands that she had been hiding her real self from both of them. All of them, actually, because she hadn’t even been real with herself for the last two years since meeting both Luke and Seth.

She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but it was time. Before she actually had a little bundle of joy in her arms, she needed to get her shit together. Hell, she should have done it well over a year ago, instead of agreeing to marry two different men. What was she going to do now?

She did what she always did when she was trying to make a decision. She made lists. Luke was fun, he loved her and doted on her when she was in town. He was financially stable and wasn’t too clingy or needy of her attention. He’d probably be a solid presence in the child’s life, of course… but would he really be HAPPY as a dad? Emily really wasn’t sure he would be. Ever. She just couldn’t picture him changing a diaper or playing ball with their little child.

Seth, now there was a polar opposite. She knew he’d be right there with her, every step of the way. He’d be thrilled and probably already had a baby crib or something up in the attic of his house leftover from when he was a child. He’d be right in the trenches, changing diapers, heating bottles, taking them for hikes and going to playgrounds. He was financially secure in his own way, but money wasn’t that important to him. He was comfortable. Solid. He felt like... home.

Emily found herself wishing beyond reason that she could just keep them both in her life. She loved both of them for such completely different reasons, so what on earth was she going to do? She knew, though. It was time to let go... and go home and see if he could ever forgive her.

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