How much Control do you Feel you have over your life? Tribesteemup biweekly Question

in #tribesteemup2 years ago (edited)

To think of it, I may have complete control over myself but may be not complete control of life happening around me where a lot of dependency is on the external circumstances and people. And why so?

The External influences

We are all the time surrounded by so many situations and people. Be it our family, our social circles, the workplace people, the political people governing the place we live, the religious advocates, the hierarchical systems that we are all the time surrounded with.

Just a few e.g. like;
I want things to happen my way in my family
I want my Children to go to a particular school;
I want to work in a particular place
I want to pay Tax my way
And so many other such conditions that I want or I do not want to do; but do I always have a choice?

Family Tie ups

The most basic one that most of the time becomes a block for us to live the life the way we want. This also depends on the different cultural background that you are in. Specially in India where there are joint family systems; it becomes difficult for one to live life the way he or she desires. Family pressures are always there and one feels very little or no control over one's life. This is the first place where one is conditioned to sacrifice and compromise.

Let me share my personal e.g. for 20 years I lived with my inlaws; there were always many compromises to be made. Things were never at my own self decision making, whether it was for my own-self or for the family. Even if it would be for something as simple as planning a holiday or buying something for the home. I am a person who would eventually get things done my way; but the way to achieve it would get stressful.

Laws, Rules and Regulations of the place we live

This is one another major factor that does not allow us to function the way we desire. I am quoting some e.g. of classic places in some of the regions of Middle East where a person is denied of some very basic rights. Like in Saudi Arabia women is not allowed to even drive. Or in my country also where I hear stories that the local people need to take approval for Marriage from the Ministry. So it definitely does not get easy for one to make their life decisions at their own choice.

But at the end of the day it is definitely upto us how the life needs to be shaped up irrespective of the conditions around by making choices.


The Internal influences

Control over Life or Controlling Life

There is a very thin line between the two. When we learn to Control our life we learn to adapt to various situations and work out possibilities, everything seems to be in our periphery. Even when things go haywire and if we are able to gather up ourselves is the moment when we have Control over our life.

But when we try to Control our life we can see things slipping of our hands and we can also land into a helpless situation.

Apart from the external circumstances there internal ones are the bigger ones to deal with and the one major is Resisting change and going with the flow of life. There are times when we are fixed up with a mindset for things to happen and flow in a certain way in life and if we are not flexible enough to look at options other then the ones we are fixed up to we can land in a miserable situation. This happens when we want excess control over our own life.

When it comes to my own specific life; I will say that I have major part of my Internal life in my control, but that has happened with a lot of push and pull and not that it has happened very smoothly. I had to struggle out for it. But that's what it is all about, upto what extent you want your life to be within your own limits all depends on you. But still there will be external circumstances which will keep blocking the path and creating barriers.

Somethings happen and somethings do not happen; there is a good in every situation but one needs to be flexible enough and understand if there are deviations in the path.
If we can do that I feel we will have more control over our life rather then controlling life. We need not control life; we need to live life with complete freedom and joy and take all the experiences of life keeping our own self in control with our actions and behavior so that we can get the best results of our experiences.

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This was a REALLY tough question! I especially liked your ending: "We need not control life; we need to live life with complete freedom and joy and take all the experiences of life..." I think a lot also hinges on our faith - do you believe in reincarnation and that we CHOSE this life and our circumstances, or do you believe God placed you here as a test? So much to think about! And ponder. But mostly so much to ENJOY and EXPERIENCE - I love the way you ended with that!

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Yes, I believe in reincarnation and I believe that the life we bring in is all for the purpose of learning and growing. The patterns that we carry from across lifetimes are our test to break free from and till the time the lessons are not learnt we keep going on in the rut. If we come to this understanding life becomes much simpler. Thank you for your valuable inputs my dear.