Entry for storycubes contest 11: Michael Strutters goes down

This is my entry for @goodguygreg's #storycubes contest - a contest where anybody can enter a story, art, or any creative work based on 9 random storydice @goodguygreg / @jacobtothe has rolled. You can find this weeks contest and rules right here.

It's a fun contest, and I when I started the character of Michael Geronimo Strutters, I had no idea what crazy adventures were in the making. I feel like I should keep writing his stories, until... Until, yeah, when? I've no idea...

These are this weeks 9 dice:

I used the cubes in this order (1 being top left, 9 being bottom right): 2 - 5 - 7 - 9 - 1 - 4 - 6 - 8

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My name's Michael Strutters and I've been to heaven and hell - and back and forth a few times so I don't know where the frigging funk I'm at right now. In a past life, I told you how I made my fortune, making delicious beans in a hot sauce, but got buggered by trolls, ran off only to be buggered by a Leprechaun, whose king turned me back to being 18 years old again, and when I told my shrink, he didn't believe a hoot about it, so I prayed to Nikstlitselpmur - the King of the Leprechauns to smite him - which he kindly did with a dazzling bolt of lightning. Thanks again, Little Rattle Stilt!

Now that my absurdly long introduction is over - I can tell you what actually happened. The lightning bolt was just the Leprechaun Kings way of visiting me - it's not all rainbows and sunshine for these little fellas - they can Ride the Lightning, and back in '88, James Hetfield sure knew what he was singing about.

I admit I was kinda pleased to see the midget paying me a visit, but I quickly saw the little punk had his own agenda to come an' see me. He was scared. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Sheer terror had engulfed this wee proud King so the only thing I could do was snap him right out of it: I made myself as tall as I could, made my shoulders as broad as possible, my voice as booming as possible and demanded him: "Proud King o' the Leprechauns, what be thy conundrum? In what manner cometh thou to seeketh me, riding thine lightning, telleth me, so, I, Michael Strutters canst solve thine problem, onceth and for alleth!"

I had no idea what I was saying, but I seemed to have an effect on the little bugger.

He told me, hesitating, and with tears in his eyes, that the arch-enemies of the leprechauns - the Squids - had stolen their sacred book, and without it, Nikstlitselpmur, would be King-without-a-country in a matter of 24 hours.

So now I suddenly felt sorry for the little geezer. I said: "Allright, lil' king, if you can get me a Venetian mask and one of them Indiana Jones-whips, I'll go and get yer book back from the Squid-queen - on the sole promise you'll return me back to 2017, with my fortune, my fame and my family the way they were."

"And maybe you can also tell me where I can find that Squid-queen - I really haven't got a clue where to find her..."

The Leprechaun King turned his ickle googlyeyes towards me and smiled hopefully. He whispered: "She's some kind of monster" and then sent me off with a flash to Ride the Lightning! Next thing I knew I was at the bottom of the Indian Ocean, wearing a Venetian mask and holding a useless whip. Somehow able to breathe and survive the massive pressure, I was determined to recover the book and get back to 2017, when I noticed eyes glowing in the dark, and tentacles embracing me.

Hundreds of squid-soldiers were entangling me and we anxious to drag me off to their queen. In a desperate attempt I tried to hold on to some volcanic rocks. If there ever was an underwater cliffhanger - it was me.

Michael Strutters, signing off for the week.

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