Story Cubes contest 6 Entry: Beans in Hot Sauce!

This is my entry for @jacobtothe's Story Cubes contest #6

Dice used in this order (bold text describes the dice, which I numbered from top left (1) to bottom right (9)):

6-1-8-5-4-9-3

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My name's Michael Strutter, and last time I told you how I made my fortune by finding Pirate Jacoby Greenbeard IV's treasure, which turned out to be a recipe for beans in hot sauce.

This time 'round, I present you the actual recipe:

Pirate Beans in Hot Tortuga Sauce:

Ingredients for four (4) hungry pirates:
weigh these carefully, but if your scale is off, eh - what the heck

1/2 kilo ground beef (vegan corsairs can skip this 'un, or sail to China for Soy-substitute, of course)
Olive oil
2 red onions
3 cloves of garlic
1 red bell pepper, 1 green bell pepper
1 Spanish pepper
1 tsp Coriander
4 decilitres Tomatopulp
1 tsp Paprikapowder
A bit of Tomato Paste
1 tsp Chilipowder
400 grams Red Kidney Beans
Cayenne Pepper as little or as much as you like

Instructions:
Put the beans in cold water and let them soak for at least twelve hours. Then boil them in the same water for approximately 30-45 minutes. Drain the beans, but keep the water in which they have cooked - you'll be needing that later on.

That was the easy part, here comes the nitty gritty hot sauce, y'arrr!: chop the onions as fine or as coarse as you prefer and let them sweat in a big (yes, you're going to need a big! kettle) until you start to cry. If you don't cry, you're not a true buccaneer, we have feelings too, you know! Add the finely crushed garlic and then the ground beef. Bake it for roundabout ten minutes (or until the Capt'n comes knocking on yer door coz he's hungry).

Slice and dice the bell peppers - get rid of the seeds and that white bit where they grow on - it's not yummy and you'll probably have bowel movements while you're still eating. Add the bell peppers and start chopping up and add the Spanish Pepper. You'll want to cut it into really small bits - I can tell, I still remember that big chunk getting stuck between my teeth. I'm not saying looking glass-small bits, but you get the gist, right?

Add the Coriander after washing your hands from cutting the Spanish Pepper. Chuck in a bit of the cooking water from the beans, you don't want to get things burnt. Add the Tomato-pulp when you feel like it, the Tomato-paste, the Paprika-powder, Chilipowder and then the Beans.

If you scored some red wine from your previous loot, you can always add a bit of that. And have a sip of wine yourself, you're the cook, right?

Stir everything and make that stew boil for at least 35 minutes. Yes, the crew may be hungry already, but keep 'em waiting, it's worth it. You can let it boil even longer and it'll be so much better - just make sure the beans don't fall apart or the sauce gets too dry. Add some more of that water from boiling the beans if that's the case.

When you're done, you can add the Cayenne Pepper for the diehards - and I bet there's a lot of them on your ship. Serve in deep dishes along with Mexican beer.

Have your Cap'n steer for the nearest enemy vessel while the crew is still burnin' their throats and charge! - I'll bet you'll get a medal for your dish.

Yours truly, Pirate Jacoby Greenbeard IV, Chief Cook on the Mary Anne, 1716.

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With the risk of falling out of character: this is an actual recipe -not something I just snatched off the 'net- which me and my girlfriend have made may times, and it's delicious: if you're making this beans in hot sauce: let me know!