CAPTURED BY TIME (An Original Novel - Chapter 2)

in #story8 years ago (edited)

In the First Chapter, which took place in 19th century London we got acquainted with Charles who meets a strange man while walking along the embankment.

Charles gets scared and realizes that the man might not be a human being at all. At this point the man disappears and the chapter abrupts while Charles loses conciousness.

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CHAPTER TWO

Mike and Molly were taking their time walking back to the village. They knew that as soon as they would come back into the gates they wouldn’t be able to spend any more time with each other.

More so, it was a stunning day and the walk amongst the fields far away from the village can surely do no harm, both of them were thinking.

It was one of them days when Mike felt that he is truly happy, he could forget about school and forget about having to take care of his father. He loved his father, but sometimes those long days spend by his bed and listening to his stories would tire Mike away.

Each time they managed to sneak out with Molly at the far away end of the village behind the tavern couldn’t make them both happier. Knowing that they had a full day together and no one was looking for them.

The green grass; the beautiful warming sun rays; the blueberry smell… it was almost as if one of the stories that his father would tell him, came true.

“Let’s climb on the black hill” Mike said happily, “I want to see the sun set”.

Molly was happy that Mike was so excited; she didn’t know how to tell him the news. Not to ruin the moment she agreed “Ok, but we must head back soon, it’s getting rather late, they will be looking for us if we don’t get back soon”.

Holding hands, they run up the hill. Passing by the stripped away pine trees Molly felt something strange but this place always scared her, so she didn’t pay any particular attention.

Mike run ahead, jumped up the rocks at the top of the hill and gave his hand to Molly “Come on, don’t be such a turtle, hurry up”.

He helped her to climb just in time; the sun had already started to set. They sat down on the black rocks and Mike hugged her. It was those moments he felt his life was made for.

“Look it started! Look at the colors!” Molly was not less exited. They were watching at what looked like the battle of the suns. Only from the black rocks you could clearly see both of the suns set down. It looked as they were clashing and pushing each other away. As if it was a game of which one sets first, gets the best resting place for the coming night.

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The suns “clashed” colors, and the view didn’t disappoint. The sky filled with fire red, deep yellow and purple colors. It looked like as if someone took all those colors, mixed them up in a bucket and then threw onto the sky.

Molly caught herself thinking once again of how she will tell the news, “Do you think we would still love each other, if we were apart”, her voice was shaking and she started from far away. “That’s silly, why would you ask me that?!” “You know that we will never part”, Mike took her hand right hand and as she turned her neck around he saw a tear in her eye.

“What’s wrong?” “If its anything to do with the governor, I swear I will kill him”, he sounded so sure in himself and she immediately felt that he wasn’t ready for the news.

She turned her head back, stood up on her feet, smiled away and started to run down the other end of the hill “Come on silly, what are you waiting for, catch me!”

Mike started to laugh, jumped up and begun to run after her. At the bottom of the hill he caught her up and they stopped. They were both laughing and breathing heavily from running down the hill.

“We must get back said Molly”, its almost 19. As they walked back they were passing the other end of the hill. From here the desert was clearly visible. “Do you think there is something beyond Mike?”

He didn’t answer, he shrugged his shoulders. He had enough time listening to his father, to know there could be nothing in that direction. Not after the clash.

They kept on walking and enjoying the time together. Each one for his own reasons. Molly knew well that this may be the last time, while Mike kept thinking that because of school and work they wouldn’t be able to sneak out for at least another week.

The fence of the village was already in sight. They both felt a fresh hit of cold wind that blew up in their direction.

“That’s strange… those winds usually don’t start till the end of the summer”, Mike wasn’t paying any more attention to the wind than he should have been. But Molly felt that strange feeling again, she felt back at the pine tree glade.

“I don’t like this, let’s hurry”, she said. She took his hand and they begun to walk slightly faster. They could already hear the village clock beat quarter to.

As they closed up to the hole in the fence, the trees thickened up and Mike took the lead in order to clear the branches away.

“Wait Mike I can hear something. Wait up, can you hear it?” Mike stopped and listened up; he heard a slight moan just to the left of him. “Maybe someone needs help, what are they doing out here?” Molly begun to make her way through the trees towards the origin of the noise.

“Can you see anything?” Mike was lagging behind and he was as curious as never before. Who in their right mind would be out of the gate that late apart from them?

In a few yards, they made it to a birch tree and they could see a man lying right next to the tree.

Mike run up to him “Are you ok?” He was expecting the man to turn his head towards him so he could recognize who it was.

The man turned his head and Mike felt a shiver run down his spine. It wasn’t the fact that this was a stranger. It was the look in the man’s eyes. His eyes were glass cold.

“I’ve been waiting for you” Said the man.

Mike stood back onto his feet and made a step back; he closed Molly up with his body. “Waiting for me?” “You must be hurt; maybe you’ve hit your head”. Mike could clearly see that there was nothing wrong with the man in front of him. He did wear strange black clothing that Mike had only seen in his dad’s albums before. For some reason that caught Mike’s attention the most.

The man stood up and it was clearly visible that he was much older than seemed at first glance. He had short hair and to the surprise of Mike his clothes were neatly clean and ironed.

Mike turned his head towards Molly. She was not less shocked then Mike, she stood as if she was glued to the ground, and stared into the eyes of the man.

She didn’t even turn her head towards Mike when he looked at her.

“Are you going to keep on staring at me, or are you going to ask questions” Said the man in an amused manner; he sounded somewhat happy that he managed to get such a reaction out of the girl.

His voice was very calm and had a strange accent. “Well, I guess that it’s time for both of you to move on forward”. As the man said it he got a pipe out of the left pocket of his top. “You wouldn’t hand me a match, would you Mike?” the man made a step towards him and at first Mike’s reaction was to take another step back, but he couldn’t as he knew Molly was right behind him.

Mike’s hand dived into his pocket and he pulled out a worn of zippo that he found in his father’s boxes. The man took the lighter and smoked up the pipe.

As he inhaled the smoke he passed the lighter back to Mike and for a moment Mike and Molly had a chance to exchange looks.

“Don’t be afraid, your time has come” “What I’m about to show you is what you knew already. I am merely connecting you to what you wish for”.

“What are you talking about? What are you doing here alone in the woods?” Molly finally managed to squeeze in something out of herself. She was still staring at his eyes.

“Do I scare you?” he asked her “Don’t be afraid of me, I am the one who brings the truth”.

Curiosity was overtaking Mikes fear and he seemed to relax his stance, “What truth are you talking about?”
“If you are both agree than I will show… then thinking again I don’t need your agreement, it has already been decided” the man seemed to cough, but judging by the slight corners of his mouth that went up, he was smiling and it was laughter and not cough.

Mike felt like Molly’s hand touched his back, he knew it a signal to run but it was already too late for him, he looked once again into the man’s eyes.

Out of nowhere for herself Molly said “I’m ready!” “But of course you are Molly; you always have been my favorite”.

Molly made a step forwards and lined shoulders with Mike, she took his hand “What the heck Mike, it doesn’t matter; it would have been over by tomorrow anyways” “What do you mean by that?” Mike seemed lost.

“It doesn’t matter right now…” interrupted the man.

“Both of you must get back to the village, before seven. Its quarter to in my watch” As he said that, he pulled out a silver pocket watch out of his trousers, Mike had also seen one of those on a picture before.

“Well hurry now, tomorrow I will be awaiting both of you here early in the morning”.

“But what about my…” Molly just started her sentence. “Don’t worry about the governor, his seems to lost his head already” the man seemed to smile once again as he said it.

“Lost his head?” “Has he lost his mind?” Mike wasn’t sure what all of this meant.

“Oh, look there!” The man pointed his finger in the direction of the village. Both Mike and Molly turned their heads around. They turned their heads back and no one was standing in front of them. Just the birch tree.

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Molly let go of Mikes hand and put her finger on his lips. “Shhh, it doesn’t matter right now, it’s all going to be fixed, I know!” A tear run down her eye.

But Mike felt that she was happy, something inside him made him realize that. He didn’t drop a word. He took lead once again and they got to the hole in the fence within the next 5 minutes. Closing to the fence Molly kissed Mike on the lips and smiled “I will see you in the morning”.

She then run off into the hole and she disappeared Mike followed to the fence too.


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Can't wait for the next chapter..... Followed!!!!!!!!!!!

I like how you build tension and make the audience curious and wanting to read more. I also think that we live in a happy time when a writer can, basically, say whatever he wants, unlike Bulgakov who basically wrote his immortal novel for one person – Stalin, who he presented with an image of Woland.
The main premise of the novel was allowing Stalin to get rid of all the imposters and parasites that occupied literature and arts, but to preserve the true artists. In that respect, I’ll be curious to find out what is the main motivation force behind your “death”character is and the philosophical backing of the entire novel.
I’ve noticed quite a few of the translation issues. I think it would be a good idea if you run your chapters through Grammarly program before posting (www.grammarly.com/‎). It’s light version is free.

Cheers

I love that you noticed the Bulgakov simmilarities... makes me very happy. Do you mind pm'ing me bout the grammar issues?

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This has the making of an intruiging story - well done! Some nice descriptions throughout. Saying that, there are quite a few small grammatical errors that disrupt the flow. Also, I think you could do more to differentiate the voices of each character - make them come alive a bit more, and make the speech feel more natural.

I wold suggest reading out loud the story in one go before publishing - it might highlight some of the parts that dont 'flow'.

If u want any more advice (im a proofreader and aspiring writer), feel free to ask!

I'd love to! If you could pm me, i would be glad!

I am not sure what do you mean by PM. You can just go to https://www.grammarly.com/ and install it. It's free.

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