I like how you build tension and make the audience curious and wanting to read more. I also think that we live in a happy time when a writer can, basically, say whatever he wants, unlike Bulgakov who basically wrote his immortal novel for one person – Stalin, who he presented with an image of Woland.
The main premise of the novel was allowing Stalin to get rid of all the imposters and parasites that occupied literature and arts, but to preserve the true artists. In that respect, I’ll be curious to find out what is the main motivation force behind your “death”character is and the philosophical backing of the entire novel.
I’ve noticed quite a few of the translation issues. I think it would be a good idea if you run your chapters through Grammarly program before posting (www.grammarly.com/‎). It’s light version is free.

Cheers