Gone (Original)
Going
In circles now
It's the dizzying scent,
Lingers whenever you enter.
Going
Back pedaling
Reviewing all my words
Like cookie dough licked clean off spoons.
Going
Sideways again
My lateral motion
The unbearable evenness.
Going
Over your edge
Into your own strange land
Dotted with the dreams of your folk.
Now gone
These shapes are air
But the dizzying scent
Of your memory still calls out.
Now gone
Floating forwards
Words neither smoke or stone,
Review just a casual game.
Now gone
Upward motion
A celestial ascent
With an unbearable beauty.
Now gone
Clung to my edge
To save my own strange land
Wherein I house my childhood dreams.
Gone.
Thank you for spending time here.
Other Works:
Daughter of New York
Binary
Three Nights in Charlotte
Thinking Man's Prison
Starchild
Melt
In the third stanza I actually felt unsteady from the swinging pendulum motion. I'm often impressed by good imagery, but I don't usually feel dizzy just from the suggestion of words. Nice work.
That's awesome to hear, I promise to keep the wizardry to a minimum ;)
Words neither smoke or stone
This is a nice line, it suggest words that neither rise (smoke) or fall (stone), but words in the present that stay.
I also felt like there was an impermanence there, something that leaves behind little to nothing. Thanks for commenting