Alcoholic Stories #15: Work like a poor dude, party like a rich dude

Original memoirs-stories off my life, Steemit exclusive. Get ready for a good laugh.

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Have you ever woken up in a luxury hotel suite, completely naked except for a tie around your neck and pondered to yourself "What the f*ck... " and just grab a can of beer and try to figure out what has just happened? Well, here's a picture of me doing exactly so. All classy, wearing a black silk tie and enjoying a million dollar view off the balcony. Don't let the bad hair-day distract you. Note the confused facial expression, yeah. What. The. F*ck.

Oh, the story behind this?

Well it started with a hangover, much like all of my stories do and I have been drinking for weeks now, like I usually have. Today's schedule, besides the abnormal drinking, consists of going to the store and meeting up with Ginny. Yeah, the same Ginny I met through George from one of my four high schools where I've managed to drop out of due to my drinking issues. Call me well-educated, as I've been in 7 schools total, one university included where I got accepted into with fake documents.  I think I just may qualify for a Guinness World Record with that. Anyway, let me tell you something about Ginny, this damn 5'3 short guy, who was too shy to even talk with a cashier in a store, sure knew how to party. Ginny has about 6 grades of education behind him, social skills comparable to a dead squirrel, and acne that would make even Mt. Everest look stable in comparison. But besides the awkward outlook, he was by far the most well-off person in our social circle, he had it made since birth, being the offspring of a former made mobster and a real estate scammer who's now dedicated to MLM and ponzi schemes. He had it made, we are talking about a guy who would tip €50 to a homeless person on his best day. We're talking about a guy who has never used public transport besides the airplane. 

Proper use of inherited wealth

But what does Ginny decide to do with his wealth? Well, despite all the aforementioned weird qualities about him, he surely loved to drink. It was almost like he was possessed by a demon that was on a task to drink all the liquor available on planet Earth. He could, would and did out-drink every single soul I've met, and I've seen my fair share of drunks in my life, trust me on that one. He had financial restrictions set by his mother that he couldn't spend more than few grand a week, but that didn't bother Ginny one bit, he was a VIP client of the local pawn shop, where he would drop his brand new iPhone, iPad and Apple Watch away. Later his mother would either buy them out or buy Ginny a new pair of overpriced Apple gear. Yeah, that's a weird style of living. I suspect it might have something to do with the weather around here.

So we meet up and hit up a local bar for a few beers, cocktails. We hardly even converse at that moment, but that's alright, I'm used to Ginny not talking much until he has had about 15 drinks in him. That's just how he was. After that we would eat somewhere, where they served alcohol. He liked fancy cafes, rooftop hotels and Armenian restaurants. I couldn't complain, considering my wallet was as empty as Donald Trump's skull. Now, Ginny didn't mind spending on others, he was never a greedy man and understood that for regular folks the life is hard. He didn't mind, he enjoyed the companion and appreciated the protection off other sharks. Having had quite a few dozens drinks, we've gathered up some other regular drunks, chill by the bay after having stocked an insane amount of alcohol off store, literally as much we could carry away. Hundreds and hundreds worth of alcohol straight out of a local mall. No biggie.

I can't recall the precise time, but I think it was about 47 beer cans after 9'o'clock so we decided we should move somewhere. Usually we land at a bar and drink until we literally pass out and get kicked out by the security, but this time Ginny felt like he could use a sauna. But he's way too rich and spoiled to use a public sauna, he just had to rent the most expensive rooftop hotel suite he could find, that had a big sauna included and a great view off balcony. It's a done deal, we're at the hotel with a quantity of alcohol that amounts beyond the knowledge of known numbers by current mankind. Just regular Eastern European things. 

Some weird things...

By that time I'm seeing things double or triple, hardly having an understanding where I am, fell in the sauna, almost break my neck, go into raging berserk mode and throw my phone into wall and then attempt to jump off Balcony. Rather weird, yes, but that's about as far my memory goes. The next moment, wake up in the hotel and besides me and Ginny there's only 1 random man in the room, who I've never seen in my life before. Everybody's asleep. Out of any ideas what do next, I grab a hidden beer can and open it. Have a zip. It's piss-warm. A new day to drink. What. The. F*ck.

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