Alcoholic Stories #13: Drunk, the demolition man

Welcome to this series of poorly written alcoholic stories. Steemit exclusive.

I must've left out one thing off my resume, being a demolition man. No, not the movie. Like an actual construction worker who specializes in smashing and destroying things.

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Wake up in a new ferry

I wake up with a huge hungover after quite likely the craziest summer I've ever had. A hangover on a level that would challenge the gods.
We've been drinking for weeks now, but today is slightly different - namely I'm out of money and had promised to help a friend out at a construction site, doing some minor things such as clean, assist, move heavy objects and polishing the floors with some machine, but to be honest most of the time I was so hungover that I "polished" them into even further unbalanced level. Just Eastern European things.

But mid-way I get a call from an unknown number that quickly sputters out something along the lines: "Hey you're modernbukowski, right? Well your mother's friend is a friend of mine who told me that you had some experience in constructions and we have a gig to offer You interested?" I desperately needed the money so I agreed instantly, but the catch was that I had to catch the ferry the same day and head straight away to Finland. So I pack my shit up and head to the ferry and head to Finland.

Now let me tell you something about Finland: these guys are heavy drinkers. Now let me tell you something about construction workers: these guys are heavy drinkers. And let me tell you something about my skills as a construction worker: well, I didn't know shit. Never done any real construction related gigs.

So I arrive to Finland with ferry and the guys come pick me up with an old white Ford van, as soon I get in they offer me a 4-pack of beer and I'm like, cool, why not. The guys quickly figure out that I know nothing about construction and decided that I should get the easiest gig, demolition ones. We drink a lot of beer that night, head to some weird ass garage, get some equipment, but I can't remember if that was actually their equipment or they stole it off somebody. Weird place, weird times.

First day at work

Morning after, another hangover, I'm given a pair of boots, a sledgehammer, access to jackhammer and few different machine saws and dropped off to some abandoned houses nearby Helsinki with 3 other hungover dudes. There was this one Finnish guy commanding the object, but we didn't really understand what the hell he was blabbering about so we just started to work. Can you imagine 3 inexperienced, extremely hungover guys just smashing things with sledgehammers? We went just berserk. I remember we used to challenge eachother to smashing things for example how long it would take us to smash a ceiling etc..

The work itself was exactly as fun as it sounded and I doubt we were following any security protocol at all, but we simply didn't care, the pay was actually really great (this being Finland afterall) but as soon work ends, we would move to our shared apartment with 6 dudes and oh damn, this was just crazy, 6 alcoholic dudes in one apartment. We hated the finnish tv so our main activity was drinking. We would get wasted EACH and EVERY single damn day. We would always wake up with hangover and just play rock, paper and scissors on who would drive our car, none of us had a driving license anyway.

These guys were freaking out of their minds, drinking and gambling is all these guys knew. Some of them were in their 20s, some in their 40s, but they all acted like 14 year old. Every now and then we would raid the city and make a complete embarassment out of ourselves, we had this one lanky guy who had a special habbit of ending up in the police station. Every. Single. Damn. Time. It was just beyond me.

2 of the guys and me would mainly chase women, but we weren't very successful because our nation has a bad rep in Finland and I can definitely understand why.

We arrive to the object and continue smashing things, while being either half drunk or hungover. For about 2 months in a row. The work got done, nobody really complained at that moment. Later on we found out that we shouldn't had destroyed the complete pipe-work, but by that time we were long gone.

But I couldn't work for more than 2 months, I just couldn't mentally handle it. My anger issues started causing problems and you don't want an angry man operating a jackhammer. I couldn't live with these idiots for much longer, drinking with them was not something I enjoyed. Just had to leave.

Construction works, never again.

Image sources by CG or public domain license and gifshare.com

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