Dying. It's too easy - a Guzzi SF adventure (G11)

drwom (69)in #story • 6 years ago (edited)

Aboard the maroider ship Valentine's Death the chaos was practiced to the point of artistry.

"What the schez are you doing? Shoot it!" Macer screamed at her crew.

"We are!" a discordant chorus screamed back.

"We're hitting it, only it's not blowing up. Bloody ship doesn't understand the laws of physics!" said Finkle, her pilot and most trusted crew member.

Suddenly the enemy ship disappeared, leaving the fleet shooting at each other.

"It's a Garship! Get us outta here! Pull out to half a million ks!" The Captain shook her head in wonder. "Wait! Drop a few remote mines here. Now! What are we still doing here? Go! Go! And turn that music up! S'cool!"

A couple of the maroider ships had taken hits, and now the Garship was back, firing a lethal looking energy weapon at the fleet.

As the Death accelerated the battle got further away. "Drop a few more mines. Never know, might get lucky..." I want that ship! "I want that ship!"

The battle screamed on and the marauders were taking a beating. Macer's eyes narrowed. "Finks, watch the Garship. Find the pattern. There'll be a pattern to its shifts. Always is."

A kalidascope of colour and explosions later, Finks smiled. "I've got it."

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"What do you mean it can't do random?" Guzzi said in his quietest, most exasperated voice.

"S'why we need you, or a real pilot anyway."

Schmeep's laughter grated through the bridge.

"Well, let me take control then!"

"Not full control. Microjump control," Schmeep's translator sang along with Dirty Deeds.

"All right. Give me that then!"

"I don't know why you worry, G-u-zz-i. Enemy always too dumb to understand."

Guzzi braced himself. Three. Two. One.

The Garship reeled and a strange hissing sounded. An alarm. Explosions could be heard from somewhere beneath them.

"What the..?" screamed Sapphire.

"Hull's breached," yelled Jazz. "Give him the dungin controls, Schmeep! Now!"

Schmeep looked uncertain as he watched a maroider ship explode into a beautiful orange, red, magenta and blue fireball around a hot white magnesium flare. "Dying. It's too easy."

"It sure is," said Guzzi. "But not today, eh? Still got a few dirty deeds left up our sleeves yeah?"

The Garship physically lurched as Guzzi took control. "Now that's more like it!"

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap.

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To be continued...

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