As a little mental exercise I was trying to think of what one word best describes me, myself and I.
A few years back I would probably have chosen the word Perfectionist.
But as time advances, and there is less of it to go round, I am going for Utilitarian.
I am not a great one for doing things that I don't regard as having utility or purpose.
While that makes me really quite time effective in all I do, it almost certainly does shave off large slices of what many people might regard as essential elements of a fullsome life.
For example I really don't have any particular need in my life for music. I have no ability to sing or to play any musical instrument. And I never put on any music to listen to. The only time I listen to music is when it is part of a radio show I am making.
The same for TV and films. I haven't had a TV for years. And I haven't been to the cinema for a long time. I watched a lot of films when I ran a community cinema for a year - but that was more community service than pleasure.
I don't go to pubs or bars to chat and drink. I don't hang out in Discords just to make small talk.
Before steem I never set foot in any social media unless I was doing it for a client.
I don't buy ornaments, or art, or music, or jewellery, or makeup or fancy clothes.
Everything has to have a purpose for me.
Socialising just for the heck of it has never been my thing.
That is why I have always had a great penchant for organising events - be it festivals or feasts, committees or cinemas.
That has been my defence for being awkward in social situations. If you are the organiser of an event you don't have to worry about whether anyone will want to talk to you, or what to say if they do. If you are the organiser people come to you and ask you questions. Sorted!
Although this is a 4am rambling freewrite you might see where this is heading in respect to my place on steem.
I put together radio shows and interview lots of people because I find it easier than hanging out in Discords. And you have to do one or the other to get along on steem.
And it is one of the main reasons I decided against going to SteemFest.
I even got as far as booking the hotel.
But then I thought about it some more and role played the social scenarios in my mind.
I was going to take MSP Waves to SteemFest and broadcast my radio shows from there but no one was interested. That would have given me a little job to do there. Without that I wouldn't have had a role to play and would inevitably find it socially very difficult.
I weighed that up with the $1500 the whole trip would cost me and i couldn't justify it.
Inevitably, and perhaps (or perhaps not) unfortunately doing A Dollar A Day every day I see the opportunity cost of money in a very different light to what I did a year ago.
Should I spend $1500 on just a few days of travelling, eating, drinking, talking, socialising and all that stuff. Or would that be better spent on feeding people in Venezuela, or educating youngsters in the Philippines, or training impoverished women in Bangladesh or saving forests in Cameroon...
I cannot now with true conscious tip that scale in favour of five cold, expensive, wild partying days in Poland.
But I do not begrudge others the experience. I am sure most will find much greater utility than I possibly could in being there.
I am sure it will be awesome, because everything always is on steem.
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