DAD-Chronicals : Parental friendships - how, why and what to think about

bembelmaniac (65)in #steemiteducation • 6 years ago (edited)

Parental friendships - how, why and what to think about

Friendships between parents have their own character - you get into conversation quickly, give each other tips and if you get along well, then you arrange to meet for a game meeting of the children. These friendships bring benefits to all involved. Therefore, it makes sense for parents to make a network early.

I can say it quite frankly - when I became a father I did not look forward to close contact with other parents. I do not enjoy small-talk, have few good friends, and in addition, I look for the people I spend my free time with very well. Now my big daughter is 4 years old and I have to admit that I was generally positively surprised by parent friendships. This is also because parent friendships have their own rules.

Parents are a community of destiny - so you can quickly find a topic of conversation

Parents with children of approximately the same age usually have similar problems and the same pleasures. So you talk about the children very quickly - a short question about the age and the name and you talk about topics that really affect one. It does not matter if the other person is a man or a woman - never before have I been in contact with the opposite sex as easily as in the company of my children. It is well known that the conversation is usually harmless and usually focuses solely on children and (over) living with them - and here everyone is in the same destiny.

As with dating among teenagers - a lot, nothing has to happen

Whether such a conversation becomes "more" is usually the result of time. Parents' friendships work according to the motto "a lot can do, nothing has to be done". Whether it is a short talk, whether you give tips or inform yourself in the future, when a children's flea market or similar takes place, decides the mutual sympathy. The whole thing is like teen dating - are you taking the next step together? Do you go home with the other and do a playdate for the kids there? Especially with smaller children, the parents still have the reins in their hands and can decide with whom they meet. If that works well, then it'll be nice, if not, then it will stay on the playground during the small talk and nobody is angry about it. In that case, it just did not work.

Why parent friendships are so important

Networking with other parents makes a lot of sense:

Whether it's just the reinsurance, other parents having similar problems with their children, or getting really useful tips to manage each stage, sharing with others in the same situation is just fine.
Through other parents you can learn a lot about flea markets, recommended products, good shopping or things that you could do with your children. In addition, the exchange of nurseries and kindergartens and their quality should not be underestimated.
The members of the community of fate "parents" are very helpful to each other. Gladly, clothes that no longer fit their own child are passed on or given away for a small fee. Your child needs ski equipment for the winter holidays? This is something parents love to give each other when they do not need it themselves. That way, you can save a lot of money.
At the first children's games, you'll realize that it's often easier to supervise two children who play well together than one who is supposed to be self-absorbed. So, as the parent of the host, you can often go back and do something after a while.
Especially in emergencies, the parent network is priceless. You are stuck in traffic and can not pick up your child in time before the kindergarten closes? In such cases, other parents who take care of your child for a while are often the last resort.

Parental friendships - this is how they work

There are a few things that help make parent friendships work:

Start early to make friends. At some point, parents already have "their network" and then it's hard to find a date for playdates among the kids.
Be open. At the playground or on the parents' evening of kindergarten or crèche, you really get into conversation with other parents quickly. Try to say a few words to anyone who seems interesting to you. You will soon realize if you are sympathetic.
For small children, parents usually decide who they meet with. By school age at the latest, children choose their playmates themselves. Children under three hardly play with each other, but they are happy when another child plays next to them. From the age of 3, children make their first friendships and start dating for playdates. At some point, even the desire to stay overnight with friends. At least at this point, it is beneficial if your child has friends with parents, with whom you can cope.
When does "it fit" between two young children? Of course, they need to understand each other, but often meeting and being familiar also makes children happy. Helpful are: similar age among the children (in the crèche age can make up a few months already a lot), same sex, proximity of the apartments and ideally the same group in the kindergarten or the crib. And then it is important that the parents also understand each other reasonably.

In most cases, parent friendships are a temporary community of convenience. Very few such acquaintances remain, for example when the children attend different schools. That's why they also come with few obligations and a low expectation at first. That can be very pleasant. But there are also parent friendships that survive moving and changing schools and last a lifetime. Much can, but nothing has to ...