Steemit Tips: How NOT To Behave On Steemit -- Cognitive Dissonance
Hey there, it's @shayne
For those of you who read it, THIS is the post that made me angry enough to write this post:
I'm going to go ahead and re-write it. Hopefully it doesn't lack anything from the original.
WE SHALL SEE! :D
But nonetheless, this is another in the series of "Steemit: What NOT To Do":
- Steemit Tips: How NOT To Behave On Steemit -- Follow-Begging
- Steemit Tips: How NOT To Behave on Steemit -- Plagiarism
- Steemit Tips: How NOT To Behave on Steemit -- Following and Followers
This post will be covering Cognitive Dissonance
Why is this an important lesson for Steemit?
My experience here on Steemit has been overall about 95% positive.
The people in this community are smart and compassionate and open-minded. It's not like Twitter where people quickly get into emotionally guarded positions and attack others like rabid baboons. Maybe it's the micro-blogging platform itself that spurs people to behave that way, but it's definitely a different experience from Steemit. (look out, @zappl)
So I'm posting this here to help you, my friends, and myself, to be aware of cognitive dissonance, when others are exhibiting it, and when you are probably doing it yourself.
What is Cognitive Dissonance
It's a phrase you've probably seen a lot on the internet lately. And that's probably because people are just discovering what it actually is that makes people so snippy and defensive online.
From Wiki
Cognitive dissonance
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. The occurrence of cognitive dissonance is consequence of a person's performing an action that contradicts personal beliefs, ideals, and values; and also occurs when confronted with new information that contradicts said beliefs, ideals, and values.
My approach
When you are able to recognize cognitive dissonance in yourself, it becomes really easy to recognize it in others. So I would recommend taking the time to challenge your own most deeply held beliefs and values as an exercise of philosophical robustness. If you can recognize when and where your views contradict reality, and you are able to reevaluate those views and evolve your perspective, you will know better where I'm coming from.
I also have given up being combative with people who are experiencing dissonance. It's not useful or helpful to me or the other person, because I know that most of my experiences overcoming my own cognitive dissonance have come from being confronted and reflecting on the gnawing inconsistencies later, in private, over a period of time.
So I am compassionate and do not take remarks that come from cognitive dissonance seriously.
This is the case
I was on this Twitter post, where a user seemed not to know that the Portland killer was actually a Bernie Sanders supporter. So I decided to check and see what they knew in order to better understand what I was about to get myself into.
Seeing as how the facts conflict with their proclaimed bias, I was prepared for the usual response of cognitive dissonance, which is insult and heavy deflection.
And I was not disappointed.
See, right there, she has a preconceived bias of what a "Sanders supporter" is, and when the facts contradict that belief, we begin to see deflection "You truly believe the guy wasn't empowered by Trump's hate rhetoric?" and insult "I'll give you time to look up definition"
Trump's rhetoric has nothing to do with the guy being a Sanders supporter, so I am not addressing that. And I'm not even sure what definition they're expecting me to "look up", and since It's obviously coming from the position of cognitive dissonance, I'm not going to address that, either.
Rather, I clearly stated what I think is going on, and showed compassion and understanding. Which I expected to be taken as a challenge of some kind or even an insult.
And again, I was not disappointed lol
The deflection didn't work, so they doubled down on insults with passive-aggression. Which I countered with even more understanding and compassion, and even some encouragement, because I know what it's like to be called out on being wrong -- it's not easy! But as people it is healthy for us to be challenged and adapt our view when we are wrong. I've done it myself.
I understand that this can be taken the wrong way, but honestly, there's no other way that I can think of to express uncynical compassion on Twitter, so I just go for it and give enough room for other people to digest.
Their response to this was to insult me further and try to validate their own worth by claiming to be very educated. This doesn't actually matter objectively, however, as educated people are just as susceptible to emotional discomfort and psychological stress as anyone else, and the facts here are that this person is wrong in thinking that the Portland killer wasn't a Sanders supporter because "Sanders supporters aren't Islamophobes."
I continued.
So, I wanted Mama Bear to know that I'm not attacking her. She was all over this thread fighting with a lot of other people who were matching their own biases with hers. But that's not my game. I want her to actually think about this and hopefully check her bias, and remember that the guy who confronted her about it wasn't actually an asshole despite the fact that she was being one.
So I gave one last dose of compassion and understanding before presenting my "reliable source" (USA Today) and giving her space to digest it.
Honestly, if you are strongly defending a position against many people at once (which I'm sure we've all done), and your facts turn out to be wrong (which happens to everyone), that's a pretty embarrassing experience, and I really don't want people to be embarrassed for simply not knowing everything in the world.
I haven't heard a response yet and I don't expect one
Really, I'm not inflating my own ego here in thinking that this makes a damn bit of difference to anyone.
But the reality is that this is the way that I've had my mind changed in the past when I was wrong. So I have a system on how to confront people on issues where they have strong and irrational biases, and it's unlike what people usually experience.
People don't experience understanding or compassion online. To most people I'm sure what I do looks like a very elaborate troll. But, if people are anything like me, when they are faced with a compassionate conflict, it stands out. It can be shocking to the system. They'll check back several times and re-read, and think, and reevaluate.
Perhaps, this way, we stand a better chance of actually influencing people on a personal level rather than just spewing barf at each other, which does nothing except increase galvanization.
Share your thoughts with me.
I'd like to know what you think about this.
I think that if more people used these techniques for dealing with cognitive dissonance -- keeping your cool by not taking things personally, showing compassion and understanding, and using reason and facts -- then the Internet could be a less crappy place.
The Internet at large could be more like Steemit, and Steemit could maintain it's quality community.
That would be cool.
:D
Yeah, you need to watch out for those guys who support @berniesanders. I hear he's a bad whale! A sad man, even. NOT a Steemian!
I wonder what he should do...
Ack! I don't want to get involved with that drama!! I have no idea what's going on :(
You know your post made me look at this guys Facebook page, I think the only thing he was, was an asshole. If you look through the page he supports Bernie Sanders on Universal healthcare, he supports libertarians, white supremacists, he hates ANTIFA, and he says Bernie supporters should kill Hillary. This is one of his posts kind of sick actually posted on Jan 23:
If Donald Trump is the Next Hitler then I am joining his SS to put an end to Monotheist Question. All Zionist Jews, All Christians who do not follow Christ's teaching of Love, Charity, and Forgiveness And All Jihadi Muslims are going to Madagascar or the Ovens/FEMA Camps!!! Does this make me a fascist!!!
Wow. That's just crazy.
Well, the guy was actually insane, in my opinion. Only, that's not a narrative that the Left wants to accept right now, because they see it as a component of white privilege: "Why is it that white killers are lone-nuts while black killers are thugs?!?"
The obvious problem is, what about when they actually are insane, like this guy? It creates a serious analytical disconnect because what these people want to be true (the white killers are actually sane and just bigots) conflicts with the reality (they're probably insane, and the bigotry is part of that). Another case for cognitive dissonance.
He is clearly insane. But more to the point, calling him a "Bernie Sanders supporter" is a bit misleading. The vast majority of his views are diametrically opposed to the values that Bernie Sanders advocates for. I think it's intellectually dishonest to cherry pick his lunatic ravings in this way.
Don't try to dress it up as anything other than what it is... you were arguing with some woman on Twitter. Your attempt to try to turn it into some kind of teachable moment says more about your state of mind than the woman you're trying to make an example out of...
He showed support for Bernie Sanders. I mean, you can call that cherry picking or intellectual dishonesty if you want. The point is the person on Twitter had cognitive dissonance because the reality of this guy being a Sanders supporter conflicted with their vision of what a Sanders supporter is. If you can disprove that in some way, I'll grant your point.
I think if someone is a white supremacist that's ok as long as he doesn't trespass other people's rights and starts harming them, I don't think the supremacist thing is limited to white's, other races have people who think like that. The problem is when these people go a step further and start hating, and worst of all is if they take action based on this hate.
In the case of this guy you can say he was insane which you can deduce from his facebook page, but I think he is just a guy full of hate and wanting to blame everyone else for his own idiocy.
I often hold conflicting opinions on many topics; the product of a world full of uncertainties, deliberately or otherwise. I find this sense of being willingly unsure on many topics to be enlightening. I am not conformed to any one viewpoint or direction.
keeping all the half-finished puzzles on the table.
That said, this is a very hard state to remain in; constantly filled with bias. I choose to embrace my immediate bias - so long as I am willing to reflect critically in the future.
What you're talking about is actually a definition of intelligence: being able to hold conflicting ideas whilst not adopting them. That is a psychological asset that is vital to skepticism and rationality. Where cognitive dissonance comes from is when a preexisting bias or belief is met with conflicting evidence, and an emotional discomfort appears.
Here's an example.
Imagine that you are someone who likes both cola and dark beer. You have a glass of cola on the table, but when you turn around someone switches it with dark beer. You turn back and take a sip of your drink, thinking it's cola (because they look the same), but it is actually dark beer. You will experience a moment of psychological discomfort, not because of the flavor of the drink (because in this scenario you actually like the flavor of both), but because
Thanks for that, I understand the meaning of cognitive dissonance a bit better now.
I upvoted every reply here too because it's so awesome to reflect on all the different responses as well. This community really is amazing. Etiquette understanding is important to get on the same page with too! We learn as we go...here we g(r)o(w) again! My experience with cognitive dissonance is that it helps to show both compassion and respect for the older or more "challenged" belief while integrating a new one. Doesn't always work, but it certainly helps deflect immediate defensiveness. In many ways, insight is a responsibility and ideally a courtesy( Removing or pointing out the stone we tripped on in the path so others won't trip.) We hold onto beliefs because they make us feel safe, questioning beliefs is scary, but sometimes necessary for our safety! Keeping that in mind, let's challenge away! Respectfully
I like the way that you use CD as a tool -- cool! And yeah, the Steemit community really is a thoughtful and dynamic one.
This is interesting, but my biggest takeaway is how absolutely exhausting it is to label people and put them into buckets. All Liberals are not one thing. All Conservatives are not another. Although it may be convenient to view the world as black and white, it's never that simple. 😟
Totally agree. People are very complex. I hate it when people online say "Oh you're just a [insert pejorative identity here]!" I prefer to give a little more slack than that.
Interesting definition, i didn't know about cognitive dissonance, but i do have experienced it...
People seem to be separating themselves into ghettos of thought. So rare is it that they hear a contradictory opinion that when they do the immediate reaction is to leap fall back on the defensive "how dare they challenge my world view" Little understanding that diversity of opinion and to be challenged on said opinion is what drives this world forward, unless you're a colony of ants of course! upvoted and followed.
Social media is actually designed to create these ghettos. The more you use them, the greater the information the analytics has to present more and more things that already conform to your worldview. For instance, when I watch videos on YouTube, I often get ads for Gaia TV. When my wife watches, she gets makeup ads. Yet I have never seen an ad for makeup on my account and she has never seen an ad for Gaia TV on hers.
Yes I completely agree, In many ways, it's proving to be the greatest tool of division the world has ever seen. It creates a sense of entitlement which can lead to anger/rage when others present a difference of opinion. Especially during election cycles!
I am speechless @shayne.
No BS you have wisdom beyond your years and I look forward to sharing ideas with you.
Although I have to admit a little paranoia about how your posts seem to coincide with my experiences here.
Is there some regular series of personal epiphanies people have here?
No doubt. Collective consciousness is very real.
I'm actually a mind-reader. Don't tell anyone, though.
I figured either that or you've hacked my phone. ;-)
When I first started college, I was an Art major. I especially liked artists who employed cognitive dissonance in their artwork - artists like, Picasso:
I have plans to explore art on this blog. Thanks!