Top Ten Ways to Fail at Steemit

in #steemit7 years ago (edited)

You don’t really want to be here, building a career and a future with Steemit.com.

I’ll make this short and sweet so you can go back to binge watching the new Netflix show.

steemit money.jpeg

10. Set it and Forget it

Take a lot of time and write a killer article. Like, at least one hour. Better yet 5. Publish and leave. When you log in next you’ll see you haven’t made anything! No followers, no money. Suhweet brah.

9. Better Yet, Slap It

Together. Don’t take time to write up something killer. Make sure your Post To Be is sloppy full of grammar and spelling mistakes.

8. Silly Rabbit, Titles are for Winners!

Do not spend time brainstorming eye catching titles. Remember- you want them to KEEP SCROLLING.

7. Todays Forecast- Foggy

Be sure your photos are blurry, grasshopper. You don’t want to catch your fellow Steemians eye and, GASP, have to deal with a compliment.

6. You Don’t Need Friends

That’s right. If you want to fail you must not talk with or engage with anyone on Steemit. Under No Circumstances.

5. I’ll Be There For You

Oops, you made a few friends. It was not your fault, you promise. Ok, so now what? Don’t engage. And curation, shmuration. Oh look- the next episode is starting!

4. Frequent Flier

Make it a point to rarely visit Steemit. Hey, the unemployment line is so much more entertaining, I got you.

3. Beg for Upvotes and Resteems.

Constantly. Every moment you’re on here be sure you are follow begging. Post your link on everyones comments, PM everyone in chat right now. .. Everybody really likes that, don’t you know?!

2. Become Illiterate

Do not read anyone’s blog. Not one article. You already know everything, right?! So what you doin looking at my stuff?

1. Don’t Promote

You definitely will never grow if you don’t promote your work anywhere and everywhere you can.

steem.jpeg

Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only. Purely satirical purposes. I want you to succeed! Grow! Become a Steemit Master.

Check out these articles on how to master Steemit.com and become a spectacular Steemit Success Story:

Grow and Succeed on Steemit with these tools

Enchant and Engage your Steemit Followers

Don't be a Zero, be a Steemit HERO!

My recent 500 follower milestone

Be sure to enter the Giveaway for $20 SBD!

Thank you for your support!

Sort:  

Funny words. Silly stuff.
I liked it, because it's well presented. Thanks!

Why thank you! Stay tuned for more!

The worst one for me would have to be, "ask for upvotes and resteems." I want a well thought out discussion in the comments section about my killer article. Not, "Wow, what a great article. I did something similar, check it here." No, that's taking the conversation AWAY from ME. Start your own goddamn discussion haha

Drama Queens

smh

lol!

Haha! I am! ;)

I was actually referring to those "look at me"s in your discussions...

But, well, al-right-y then

LOL!

Haha! No, yep, I can be a drama queen on ocassion. I dislike drama, but there's usually a theatrical going on in my head as I try to tentatively navigate through the situation lol

And that, my dear Raymond, is why you are a superb writer!

Ah, lovely comment. Thank you :)

You are welcome.

I used to write a LOT as a child. And of course my teachers all told me that I was a good writer and should put serious thought into a career as such. But I just never went that way for the longest time. I only began focusing on it seriously as a career several years ago, and I am SO happy I did!

Plus I have a crazy fast and silly and goofy and strange and sometimes morbid to certain circles imagination, lol, and I believe THAT is what makes a writer.

I know, right. I wrote an awesome peice about just that;
Http://steemit.com/@bleedpoet/joking/this-is-a-joke

Did ya click it 😝

Nice reading ! Pretty interesting ideas , I totally agree with the don't promote one

Yes. Growth is BAD for failure ;)

I will follow every bit of instruction laid out here in it's most literall interpretation!

When you can fail harder than the hardest failure then the failsauce trophy shall be awarded to you, grasshopper

;)

Thanks for the article. If you were to start on Steemit today, what would be the one or two things you would focus most of your time and effort on?

#1 Good Content
#2 Get out there and meet people

2 is important. And rewarding. I came here for crypto info as a newbie to that world, and I ended up falling in love with the community and well, bought a house on Steemit Ave ;)

Hmmm ....so resteeming isn't a form of promotion ?

I'm trying to get some strategies together for writing articles that will stay visible long enough to at least get noticed, I'll make a point of looking at the links in your post. Thanks :-)

Resteeming is promotion, however I was referring to promoting in your other social media accounts :)

Yeah I noticed resteeming works well, Sometimes if I check someones page and see a very good title blog, but then I look and see its resteamed.. Before you know it I'm on the resteamed persons blog page instead of the person blog page I was going to check out in the first place.. hehe

lol, Just laughing right now!!
Awesome anyway and insightful :)
Hope your day was great :)

;)

Thank you, and wonderful meeting you!

But I meet so many interesting characters in the unemployment line...

Hey, we all have a niche to fill

;)

The trash and pools of piss, to misquote Bright Eyes, are also a boon for the writerly sort.

I'm going to post a link to this article in a post I uploaded a couple of mins before I saw yours appear online.

It's asking for strategies to prolong interest in a newly uploaded post and there are other steemians replying to it who appear to be in the same predicament who are asking the same questions.

Serendipity perhaps?

Oh wow! I'd say!

Sweet

I'm checking this out :)

Really Nice post, the only thing I'm concerned with is: "Clickbait titles"
I mean what if people misuse the option to use good titles and misuse them?

We have some awesome moderators here. And the community is second to none. If it's not authentic, it's not going to last long :)

That's one way to look at it :)

The sarcasm is strong with this one

;)

Wonderful meeting you!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.18
TRX 0.13
JST 0.030
BTC 58269.26
ETH 3067.65
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.25