Dear Steemit friends,

This blog is my entry in Spotlight writing contest #1. I hope you will enjoy the moral of my writing.

People who compare can never be happy. These trees are happy - the smaller tree does not bother about the higher tree. They never bother about each other. In fact, the higher and the taller and the smaller and the lower are all human terms - they dont exist in world of trees. A rosebush is as happy as about an oak tree ; there is no problem about it. Not even a rosebush, but just a small leaf of grass is as happy as any lotus flower. It makes no difference.

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God is showering on everybody - on the rosebush, on the grassleaf, on the lotus flower....he is showering everywhere. And the whole existence is happy; only man has got into trouble. The ego arises with comparison. Individuality you have, unique individuality you have. With comparison how many problems arise!

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Just a few days before, one woman was saying to me that she cannot accept her body. But why?? - because she is little fatter. Now why compare??? How can you be fatter if you dont compare? You must have some idea of a thinner woman, and you must be comparing. I dont see any probldm in the woman directly.

I looked at her : she is a beautiful woman, a unique woman, an individual - but unneccessarily in anxiety, in deep anguish, suffering. She cannot believe that anybody can love her, because she is a little fat.

And who has given the idea? How do you decide what is standard? Nobody knows how much fat is needed for a particular body, only the body itself knows. Listen to your body, love your body and dont compare.

Now this comparison will create such trouble that she may miss her whole life. Because of comparison she cannot love. And she will create such trouble that she will not allow anybody to love her, because she cannot trust the facg that anybody can love her.

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That man must be perverted : how can you love an ugly woman? - your idea of beauty must be perverted, or you must be deceiving.

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She cannot trust anybody - if somebody comes and says to her - 'I love you' , she will distrust them.

She cannot love herself - how can YOU love her?

Impossible. You must have some other design, you must be having some other idea behind it: you may be interested only in sex, or you may be interested in something else - in her money, or something else, but you cannot love her. Because how can you love her? - she cannot love her own face in the mirror. And even if you persist, she will try in every way to destroy your love, so she can prove that she was right and you were wrong. Now it is very difficult to find a lover who will take that much trouble to convince you. She will remain loveless. And where there will be no love coming, her idea will become more and more fixated : i am ugly. But she is not ugly at all .

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Infact, i have never seen an ugly person in my life. How can a person be ugly?

Have you ever seen any ugly crow? Impossible !

Have you ever seen any ugly cow? Impossible !

Have you ever seen any ugly tree? Impossible !

All is beautiful as it is......but with human beings you bring comparison, and immediately trouble starts.

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Dont compare, there is no need. Comparison is one of the greatest calamity fallen on humanity. You are perfect as you are. LOVE YOURSELF, RESPECT YOURSELF.

If you are not going to respect yourself, who is going to respect you then?

If you are not going to love yourself, who is going to love you then?

People dont love themselves, and want the whole world to fall in lobe with them. Now you are asking for the impossibles - these th8ngs cannot happen. Love yourself, respect yourself - and a person who respects himself never compares. Comparison is disrespect.

Go with the flow of life, be happy with what you are gifted with.

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Here i would like to present 3 episodes where human beings compare themselves :

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Episode 1

Remember the insecure woman i was talking about above till this point.

I wrote that portraying 'My sister'. She is a bit fat and very insecure. You know what she does?? , she always feels inferior, if not always, then most of the time i must say. Whenever we have to go shopping she would feel inferior as she cannot fit into the smaller sized clothes. She looks upto other woman whereever she go and always mention to me 'look, what a great body that woman possess'. Really?? That is how she need to look at other people and feel inferior about herself. NO. I always try to convine her : "It does not matter, and who in the world told you that you do not look good and a slimmer woman looks good?? The people on television?? The fashion industry people or the modellig industry??.

And you know how she answers ne, she says YES, all of them tell me to look slimmer if i want to be considered good looking. Thats her idea.

You know what she does to serve her idea of beauty :

She eats less.
She does not eat choclate or burger when she is literally having cravings of these all.

But why, i mean com'on, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. Clothing comes in all sizes, eat all the burgers you want. And be happy with your cravings. Serve them something.

Sometimes she is tired at the end of day, but still chooses to skip the meal, to follow that rule of 'no eating 3 hours before the sleep to avoid fat'.

She spends a lot of time feeling negative about her. But why? Why make your soul feel so negative about yourself??

And she is always constantly comparing herself which gets frustating to me.

I argue her with statement : Everybdy has a purpose in life, if i go play the role of Hagrid in Harry Potter movie series, would they take me if i am slim?? NO they won't. Similarly the fashion industry requires slimmer models does not mean Slimmer is beautiful and fatter is uglier. It is just the requirement of various industry that you see on television. Though i argue my best with her, she would get convinced with my point for a while then again she is back to her insecurity feeling after a week or do.

Though it is mankind, who has relentlessly started this race of slimmer human bodies. Though less fat is healthy but it is our body which knows the truth or how much our body needs, not the soceital comparison. And it has evolved with time, not a one night snap culture.

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Episode 2

I know a woman who used to compare herself at her workplace and be in anxiety always. That woman i am talking about now is ME. Though now i have thrown out the word 'Comparison' from my lifestyle and it helps me live a much better life.

This is ME about 1.5 years ago when i used to compare myself with my other colleagues at my workplace. I will always be bragging about how i am working harder and long hours in comparison to other people who are at same level as me in office. But at the end of mid year, we all get rewarded equally. Why? , i used to wonder alot. Always in anger and frustation. I will end up having meetings with my manager about the whole episode.

I would complain to him with the best power of me, why do you reward me equally to everyone when i work more in comparisoon to them. He used to give me official answers which used to make me more frustated over time. It went over an year and i was tired of it all.

Then it is that day, my manager helped me out as a friend out of my mental situation. He just said to me 'stop comparing yourself, just stop it. You will never grow this way. All the time you are working hard but i treat you equally as others in the team because i want to change you. I want you to understand 'comparison never helps.' You want to grow, that is why you should be working hard, and not because you want to step onto others. This appraoch will always harm you on life. Just do what you got to do because you like that, you like your work, that is why you always put your extra self forward. And not because you Wnat to defeat others.

His theory and his words touched. I decided to change, i could see the mental peace i was experiencing by following his suggestion. And next mid year he rewards me like the toppest in the team and he told me in my rating meeting that he is glad 'i changed'. I told him , 'i am glad you helped me do it'.

After that immensely positive episods in my life, i never gave importance to thought of 'comparison'. It just does not matter and yes yes it creates so much extra anxiety in my life which i really do not need.

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Episode 3

Also let me tell you a very beautiful story that my brother always tells me. The stroy is so simple yet has such strong message on 'why should we not compare and be happy with whoever we are and whatever we have'.

Here the story starts :

Once there a Crow,
He was black and being shunned by other birds. He always used to feel inferior of his black color. He used to wonder why is he the blackest, he could have got the brown color like the eagle or hawks. He used to think life could have been so much better if i won't have been the blackest.

The tree he used to sit on was by the side of a river. In that river lived a Swan. A swan, pure white in color.

The crow would look at the swan and wish 'if he could have been gifted that white color'. Why holy lord why, he used to wonder alot. Always feeling inferior he never enjoyed his life to the fullest.

Then there was the Swan,

The swan pure white in color and being admired by crow was still not happy with herself. There used to be a peacock living in a cage near that river. And yeah ofcourse the peacock was colorful. The swan would always look at the peacock and wish if she would have those so many colors. She would feel her white body is full of dullness and nothing else and would always admire peacock. She also ended her day in deep anxiety and not enjoying what she is been gifted with.

Then there was the peacock.

Peacock was full of colors, admired by swan. But yet not so happy with herself. The peacock would always look upto the crow and wish if i could be free of this cage and fly high in the sky. Peacock would say to god, why you give me so beautiful colors and prints on my body if i had to be captured by humans. Why did i not get the wings like the crow.

You see
Crow admired Swan
Swan admired Peacock
Peacock admired Crow

How this vicious circle plays with us leaving none of us happy with ourselves.

We all are gifted, comparison never helps. STOP COMPARISON AND ALSO STOP PROMOTING COMPARISON. We have to change the trend for our own good.

Same is with this competition, for an example, i do not need to worry about what others are doing and how much they are putting into it. I just got to do what i got to do without comparison. And be at mental peace.

Image source : Pixabay

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If you like my work, follow me @thatindianlady

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You can check more of my recent work below :

-- A visit to LORD OF THE DRINKS : plus how i convinced my friends to join steemit

-- AN INDIAN GOD KNOWN FOR EXORCISM OF EVIL SPIRITS : IT IS REAL, I AM VISITNG HIM ON FRIDAY.

-- Color Challenge - PINK Wednesday : ❤My Beautiful Saree ❤

HERE IS ME - Yours' THAT INDIAN LADY

till next blog, HAPPY STEEMING

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