The Fourth Episode Of The First Block Chain Programme That Keeps You Engaged, Informed And Entertained. Let's Talk About It With @oluwatobiloba.

in #relationship6 years ago (edited)

Hello, beautiful souls, it is another Saturday and I am excited as always. If there is one thing I have learnt this week, it is to be strong no matter what happens and always have it at the back of your mind that there are people who will only stay with you when things are rosy and smooth or probably when they need help, but the moment you have a little challenge, they are off and they will not even give a second look.
Alright, that is, by the way, I don't want to bore you with the things running through my mind this morning, so I will just quickly get to what we have to deal with today. But before then, I will like to give you feedback on last week's programme.

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About Last Week.

Last week was an exciting one because we had a lady to help for the very first time and she was excited to see the reaction but one thing I noticed from my conversation with her is that, she was not willing to loosen up or let go.
She does not mind, if she has to be the one to keep calling or if she has to be the one to give all the attention, I guess she is just so stiff-necked to keep 'managing' the young man even if he obviously does not have her time any longer.
Although, I am still going to try all I can to help her out because from my findings, she is really young and I think she is just obsessed and since I will want no regret at all for her, I will have to continue pushing.

So I want to say thank you all for your support, I am really grateful for the words of encouragement and for the love shown, words fail me right now, but I just want you to know that this is coming from a grateful heart.

STRAIGHT TO THE GIST FOR TODAY.

When you hear Nigerians sing ''if you ask me, na who I go ask'' that is the way tody's story is oh. It is one that has left me helpless and speechless, but I know that with your help I will be able to provide a solution.
The individual that came to me this week came on behalf of her friend, she told me that she is in a confused state and she wants to look for every means to save her dear friend.
From the way she spoke to me, it was very obvious that she loved her friend so much and she will do everything possible to help her friend, I asked her to relax because I have very wonderful and intelligent minds over here who are ready to help out. I will just allow her to speak for herself

Hello, my name is Lizzy and I have a pretty friend that I like very much, we have been close friends from the time we got into the university and I like her very much until she meet with this young man she told me she was in love with.
After some time, she moved in with him and they both started living what we call 'couples life' and I felt I need not bother her since it was the path she choose and she was obviously looking happy.

I, however, realized that she started missing lectures and whenever I try to talk to her, the only response I get is that, she is okay and there is nothing wrong with her.
One faithful day, she came to my house and she was crying, I took her in immediately and I noticed scars on her body, I was really worried as to what the problem could be? I thought she was robbed until she told me that the person she calls her lover has been beating her.
She went further to say that sometimes, he will lock her inside the house and he will go out because he feels he does not want any other person to share his woman with him and that is the reason why she does not come to class most times.

The habit of beating comes up when he gets drunk or maybe he is just frustrated, she told me that he will beat her and then have sex with her against her own will. The most annoying part of the whole story is that the lady (my friend) spends the money because the guy is not from a rich family and my friend is from one.

After she told me all that, I made her promise to break up with him and she moved in with me, I thought that was the end of the drama and I was happy as I watched her forget about him and refuse to pick his calls. Until one day, she told me she wanted to get to a friend's house and I didn't see her for two days, I was really worried, I kept on calling and calling until she finally picked up her phone and she told me that the young man has apologized and she has moved in with him again.
I was speechless and I could only wish her well and now I just found out that the young man is also a cheat and a flirt. I know that my friend is in a big mess and she just looks really blind to everything going on around her, and it looks as if her future might be at stake if something is not done fast.

I found out that he still beat her some days back but because he apologized she stayed again, my slim pretty friend is now looking like a woman in her 30's because she has practically been turned into a sex slave, a punching bag, an ATM machine and a maid.
So please I need advice on what could be done to help save my friend.

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MODERATOR'S REMARK

So, that is the story we have for today, I don't know if you are as speechless as I am right now, but I trust your judgment on this one because I am sure that you are smart and amazing. I can't wait to start getting the response on this one because I am really ready to learn and I hope to help Lizzy save her friend from the mess she has gotten into.

MESSAGES.

@olamisexy: This is to ladies who like to dominate in their relationships, ladies have to learn to be submissive and not try to dominate over their partner and even try to raise their hands on them because we now have some who slap and even beat up their partners which is really wrong.

@steve1122: Personally, I think Ladies should be able to express their feelings if you like a guy feel free to tell him and stop waiting for him to come to you first, hence you might die in silence.

Shout-outs.

@illuminatus: Please tell @florae and @jblsignature that I love them from the depth of my heart and my entire body aches for them.

@korexe: Shout-out to @joanna-godfrey for been a friend through the week. Thanks for being nice and taking me as I am.

@henry-naija: I am sending a shout-out to my younger brother @jazzman123, @adedamola, @infovore, @gbenga, @destinysaid, @olamisexy. I want to say thank you for being there for me.

BOTTLED MESSAGES.

From the secret 1: @gbenga, whatever it is that is happening right now, I just need you to be calm. Always remember that we are in this together and we will always scale through it.
Keep smiling and be strong for me.

From the secret 2: @dante31, I want to say thank you for being there for me, for being a good friend and for always chatting with me whenever I need someone to talk to.

RELATIONSHIP ADVERTS.

@illuminatus, is a cute young man of average height and he has a portable stature, he is single and ready to mingle, so you can communicate with him on steemitchat @illuminatus.

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CLOSING REMARK!!

What more can I say than a big thank you to everyone for the support you have shown me, I was scared of starting this programme initially because I felt people might not buy the idea, but when I discussed it with people around, I was encouraged to start and here we are on the fourth episode, I have every reason to smile and I am so happy for the great support. May God bless you real good.
I don't really like to mention names but I just have to appreciate some people, @gbenga(my everyday crush), thank you for believing in me, @korexe, @mosunomotunde thank you so much.
The list is endless but I will only stop here for now. See you around. Cheers!!

Don't forget that you can always contact me through:
Steemitchat: @oluwatobiloba.
Mail: [email protected]

Thank you for coming around.
..............It's your Nigerian Lady @Oluwatobiloba.

Thanks to @jodipamungkas for this beautiful badge and @gbenga for getting the badge for every Nigerian on Steemit.

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Hello @oluwatobiloba, your homeboy @bat-junior the psychologist is here.
Before I proceed with my insight into this matter, I will like to shout out to @ehiboss my homeboy who left his prodigy hanging here with me.

Now, let us sit tight and listen to ourselves.

Lizzy, if I may say, that friend of yours isn't at fault for still being in the relationship.
We will have to consider as many factors as we can.

  • This friend of yours, she might appear to be plain to you but I have a hunch that she isn't telling you everything as they seemed.
  • Another factor is that: There is something more to both parties that is somehow too personal. Either the guy was her first love, the person that she lost her virginity to, or she is been given a child-lockdown orientation due to lack of experience in a relationship.
  • Her boyfriend loves her excessively and it has turned into what most of my colleagues know as an obsession.
  • There must be something about that guy that she finds unique.

With all these factors stated above, my sincere advice to this lady in question is that whenever love turns into obsession, the best way to rectify that kind of scenario is to opt out of that relationship irrespective of the apologies that will follow up. Failure to follow this advise might lead to a devastating future.
My reason is that: For a guy that claimed that he loves you and yet beat you with an extra activity of locking you up in his apartment will be capable of killing you if you dare hug a male friend.
Though, he will mourn your death after killing you. Candid truth? You are dead.

Thank you @oluwatobiloba for entrusting this therapeutic session to me.

really.... homeboy, thank you so much dear. I really appreciate this

I thought about it for some minutes, and came up blank. If she has talked to her friend, and the friend isn't listening to reason, she should keep talking, and try to show her evidence of her findings, whilst praying that she doesn't die in the hands of the man "for love" . If she loves her friend, she won't give up on her. The supposed friend will come to her senses, someday. Love can blind you, and make you stupid, but not for long.

Alright, thank you so much for being the first person around. I really appreciate.

I like the programme

Thanks, the programme has been able to survive with the help of amazing individuals like you .

Omooo, this one no be clear eyes oooo. Some of these guys dey use juju do ds kain remoting ooooo. Well, she needs counselling and certainly her parents need to be aware so that she won't lose her life and destroy her future. I may not be far from the truth if I add that the lady must have previously been a victim of rape. They see sexual abuse as almost normal and continue in abusive relationships. She certainly needs help. I hope she gets out of this fast and alive.

Amen Ma, thank you so much. I think the best thing is to get her parents involved.

First, to all ladies out there this is so annoying about you. You're in a relationship before and the person was beating you up like what I can't describe and God save you from that relationship. But because the lady is still in love still went with that brutal man again.

believe me I don't know what I can say to the lady for now. But for the wonderful friend who had able to safe her for the first time God bless you abundantly. And may you never, I repeat come across such evil man in your life. Now I think I also have question that have been looking for an answer for while, a lot of people say love is blind, is really true, I found it difficult to get an answer to this question for while now. but if it true that love is blind that mean love doesn't see mistake at all.

This situation now made me believed that love is practically blind. But for me my real understanding about love is to cherish whatever you have, the joy, pain, romantic, touch, and not brutal like this lady is encountering in her relationship to the extent that the man is maltreating her.

Please what kind of love is this? Or is this the agape love many people wish themselves. A big capital No. Even in our own constitution in Nigeria is against the law to force some to have sexual intercourse without them agree to do so. For me if truly the lady in question want to be free; first he should seek regress from court of law charging the man with sexual harassment which can lead to rape because she doesn't submit her to do that.

Second, if the lady in question is the gentle type please her friend should do me a favour by telling her this, that if she get married to that man in question he would be happy forever and if God destiny her to spend may be 80 year on the earth, then probably she should be aware that getting married to that man will minus 30 year from her life cycle or life span.

And for the fifty year she has to spend with the man it will be like working in the panabeating workshop where bodys of cars are being straightened every day, if she choose to be with boxer man. Then take it or leave it, you're in sorrow forever, am sorry to used the word sorrow. But if you think your life worth while for you and you want to be happy break up and forget the man forever.

Thanks @oluwatobiloba, I can't thank you enough on how God have been using you here to solve relatives problem we are facing in our relationship. 2 steem dash for the good work.

Oya, I am jumping oo. Oya take hug, thank you so much.

Shout out to @oluwatobiloba
This is very interesting.. Thumbs up

There's something your friend is holding on to, that she can't just leave. Does she think about her future? Her unborn kids? Is that the kind of home she wanna train her kids in? Let her understand these things... The guy would definitely dump her ass one day. She should live before she gets too broken or get pregnant. You as her friend should be there for her always, her family should shower her with so much love too. I hope she listens to you.

Thanks a lot @jeline, I appreciate the visit. I hope to have you around more often. Kisses

My pleasure ma'am
Yea yea 😍😍😍

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Coming through with my squad @jeline @doris-adioha how did we miss this one....

Lizzy dear, your friend will not listen to you, they always do not listen, it's like the guy's nacking game is topnotch, some ladies can endure anything for a good d, I'm just saying. But mehn we need to save her.

If she has brothers, call them or best option report to all those aboki army guys, add salt and pepper well, cry ehn Infact let cartaarh come out from your nose, until they agree to give him something light.
When army guys give him one round of beating, he will know that there's a difference between AM and PM.

And he's even collecting her money
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Hahahaha, I have arrive o.
Thanks darling for bringing me here.

hmmmm, he really needs something light. Loving the squad. I am really excited to have you around

See you next week

I will be so glad to have the squad around always.

Lawd! I get pretty upset at women such as this one. Women are strong and incredible at loving and nurturing and receiving both. This lady isn't strong, she is psychologically unstable. Maybe she feels undeserving of true love, or even comes from an abusive background. Whatever the case may be though, she needs to be forcibly separated from that dude cos she won't leave him until she's lost an eye or an arm or something.

Thanks @oluwatobiloba for bringing our attention to this so eloquently. I hope they listen to the advice.

I just hope she does too, thanks a lot ma'am and your comment is not too long today (lol).
I really appreciate your contribution and great encouragement.

Minding the length of my words so you won't start avoiding me... Lol... Just teasing...

I really love the length when it is long, it makes it detailed.

I really had to think of this deeply. It's a complex situation.

One of the hardest things to do in life is let go of those we truly love. Trust men speak from experience. But in cases of continuous abuse, it's best to let go and move on no matter how difficult itay seem.

You will eventually get over him in time. It may become even more complicated if you become pregnant and give birth, then there may be no turning back at this stage.

Just my opinion

hmmm, alright. I got this. Thanks a lot.

lols @illuminatus
lemme find girls to apply bro

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