As it stands, your girlfriend is the third party in your relationship; her own relationship for that matter. She is now the external figure to the relationship between you and this other lady. Since you can easily tell your best friend about your girlfriend’s flaws and your relationship, do you at any point in time tell your girlfriend about the flaws of your best friend and her relationship too? Isn’t it obvious now where your loyalty lies and what you are doing to your girlfriend? How can your girlfriend feel like a third person in her own relationship; she is outside of her own relationship and she is looking inside.
What makes this situation even more deadly is the fact that they work in the same place. Your girlfriend will see her every day and everything your female best friend has known about your girlfriend and your relationship will serve as a weapon in her hands, which she will use on your girlfriend at will. This problem is unending.
Now that they are both at war, someone has to win and someone has to lose. Who is it going to be? Obviously the person you have decided to give the baton to. You have reduced the value of your girlfriend by treating her as a second class to your female friend. I wonder what you are doing John. If you are so into this female friend, just marry her please and release this other woman from a lifetime of sorrow. Don’t drag her into your clueless state of mind.
Without proper management of this issue, you have set the destination of your marriage to come; hitting the rock of course, because you have given your girlfriend a cause to believe you prefer your friend to her, and please don’t tell me about understanding. On the flip side, would you accept the same?
…to be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.