LEARNING: I will upvote 10 of your posts with my 1100 STEEMPOWER if you tell me why this post sucks so bad.
Disclaimer: I dont really expect anyone to try this at home!
Have a fire extinguisher ready!
I used to make this at an amazing restaurant.
Wild King Salmon Piccata with Wild Lobster Mushrooms and my Father's Garden Kale
Yes, it read like that on my menu.
Have some of your favorite pasta ready to go.
Turn up the music.
Add a dash of butter to the pan on medium heat.
Saute a handful of diced onions until they smell sweet.
Add some medicinal-grade garlic to brown.
Add mushrooms, peppers, capers and kale. Saute till the aroma sings music in your soul.
Toss the pasta in with the veggies. Set aside.
Cut fish into long slices about an inch thick.
Clean skillet, heat to the hotness of hell.
Bread the fish in your favorite panko and spices.
Add clarified butter (high heat tolerance) to the pan, you should see it disperse from the heat and crackle with excitement.
Lay the fish down gently, so as to not disturb the oil too much beneath it. This will prevent sticking.
Using your spatula, lift the edge of the fish till it starts to feel firm. Flip it. Quickly splash a generous glug your favorite alcoholic beverage onto the pan. It should emit about 2 feet of flames - to disappear only a second later. Turn off the heat!
By the time you've plated the pasta, the Salmon will be done (should be medium, not rare, not well.)
Sometimes, I like to add a little more butter to a pan, heat with a quarter cup of cream with a generous handful of parmesan (and a little blue cheese) for a nice sauce.
Place Salmon on pasta, Serve with lemon. Drizzle sauce on top. Enjoy #bliss.
Stay tuned for lots and lots more :)
PS
Clarified Butter: Honestly, let it sit in a low-heat pan for an hour . Scrape the white stuff off the top with a spoon (whey - or milk protein). The rest is clarified butter :)
(do a pound, you can keep it in the fridge for later use and its easier to work with than small amounts)
HERE IS A RESPONSE FROM ONE HELPFUL STEEMIAN: Normally I try not to go around beeing overly critical. So please take this as an honest attempt to help you find possible reasons why there is little interest in your works. The article you linked shows exactly what I mean.
You write self-absorbed and come about as if you dont care for your audience at all. An obvious example: Do you really think, the average Steemian (many of whom are not native english speakers) would know what lobster mushrooms are?
You also try very hard to produce "lyrical" instructions, sacrificing your readers in the process. "Saute until the aroma sings music" is pretty hard for beginners to replicate and I just tried in vain to find the "hotness of hell" setting on my oven.
Sorry, but yes, that article is actually rather worthless for most readers. If you are willing to take advice: Take a look at "On writing well" by William Zinsser. Its a classic and should even be available through most libraries. Probably the most important thing that book teaches you, is to write for your audience.
You could put the picture at the top, and use bullet points by starting the line with an asterisk to improve formatting. Great article though, ill try clarified butter. Cool music man.
Thats very helpful and THANK YOU 10000 for checking out my music :D I upvoted lots of your posts
I have to listen to 'my forest' in the forest. super chill
it was recorded in the forest, not kidding. i ran a 300 feet of extention cord from the house in Knappa Oregon
This post sucks because it doesn't suck, You're trying to make it look bad when it's not. it's beautiful scented goodness :). I can smell it. Although that's some wild cooking right there. Respect! and upvote for you :)
Hhaha awesome. I posted a critique from a fellow steemian at the bottom as an example. Thank you SO MUCH for your thoughts, and I upvoted lots of your posts!
Thank you kind Chef/Sir/Steemian. Your name will be remembered :)
i liked your post. It was tasty for me to look at your food. But i dont know about other people. as for me - nice work. but maybe it can be more photoes.
Thank you so much for your thoughts! I upvoted your posts :)
How can this post be so bad, im craving this picture goshh lol
I KNOW, Right? I posted a critique from a fellow steemian as an example. I upvoted lots of your posts :)
I wish i had any kind of steem power to reward you but I hope the exposure will be enough for now! Great post buddy
It's Pornfood time folks!
YES - upvoting your posts now :)
Haha I came across this post earlier today! I remember being skeptical but the try-hard, quirky writing style piqued my interest and the recipe sounded half decent as it developed.
How surprised I was when I reached the image and found something that looks like what your 5 year old child might innocently bring up to your bedroom in the morning as a surprise on mothers day. Only to have destroyed the kitchen and have half the ingredients all over their face. The kind of thing you have to force yourself to eat, trying not to heave as they stare excitedly and proudly at you. Either that or something that was pulled out of the bin in an alley behind a restaurant.
Now I think about it it's possible that it was written ironically. At least I hope it was...
awww thanks. Thats hilarious. Its actually super tastey! Your post made me laugh so hard. I wasnt being ironic but now Im just laughing my ass off :) upvoting lots of your posts!
Hey, at least (until now) I kept my comments to myself as I don't want to be overtly negative to people on Steemit. It defeats the purpose.
I was actually thinking of doing something very similar myself with my own recipe. I'd be pleasantly surprised if someone decided to repost it, whether it was in the name of appreciation or ridicule :D
It was fun to write nonetheless.
Im intrigued! What kind of cooking do you like to do? Im so hungry. Our conversation has led me to decide on pancakes to break my SteemitStarvation fast this morning. (addicted)
Your post sucks because you already won more than $0.1. Good posts don't earn that much ;-)
That is beautiful goodness. And I never joke about food. 😜 look forward to seeing more of your recipes.
I think if people are looking at the 'recipes' category they already have some inkling on the cooking thing. I have no issue with your writing style. I get it. And the photo of the dish ultimately is what inspires me to want to try the recipe in the first place. And it looks fantastic. Thanks for sharing!
I enjoyed the article but i think it was hard to focus my eye because there were so many spaces and all the same sized font. Maybe if you would've bolded some of the key points. Bullets would've looked nice also. One thing i always love is pictures i think there could've used more than one picture. Looks way yummy though. Wish i could cook like that.
