SUICIDE - #realtalk - 11yr Old Kid Abandoned By A Selfish Father
In this HwZ I talk about suicide. This was very difficult to edit, and not from a editing perspective...
This is a difficult subject and is R-rated.
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This is hook, line and sinker the exact attitude and misunderstanding about depression that I was discussing in my video. I have three kids and have still contemplated suicide. I have struggled with depression since I was 16, and you aren't in your right mind when you're depressed. You're sick, you aren't thinking straight.
Sadly, it isn't just as easy even as fixing other bodily ailments. I compared it to going in to get a broken arm fixed, but I would rather have a million broken bones than depression because they are easier to treat. You have to find just the right anti-depressant to work with your body, and since they stay in your system for weeks, if you try another anti-depressant before the other one had a chance to flush itself out, you risk mixing them, which has dangerous consequences.
I have MS as well, and lots of people with MS have depression. Uneducated people assume people with MS are depressed because they have MS, when in reality we are put on shots and medications that cause suicidal thoughts. (That side effect is like NUMBER TWO in listed probable side effects on a few of my medications.)
Don't you think that if suicide were really just a choice that it wouldn't be listed as a side effect of a medication? It is clearly a medical problem, not a feelings problem. I am certain people who commit suicide don't want to hurt anyone, and they aren't selfish. Stefan Molyneux peddles that mindset too and it's just not fair. Not unless you have struggled your whole life with it.
Most people with depression are the opposite of selfish, and pretend to parade around being happy all the time. Because God Forbid you come off as sad, and no one wants to be around you. God Forbid you be selfish and not act happy all the time around your kids.
What a ridiculous and impossible double standard we have set up for people with mental health problems.
We refuse to recognize that their problems are real and medical. We shame people who have committed suicide, rather than feel sympathy for them and their struggle, we brush "sad" people to the side and typically only want to hang out with "positive people" (don't even get me STARTED with that bullshit on Steemit. It makes me want to vom. "positive, positive, positive. Take that negativity elsewhere, blah blah blah") so what do we expect will happen to people who aren't happy but can't feel sad? Honestly. It's ridiculous.
Sorry, I know you invited me here to watch your video, and this was more of a rant, but it hurts me to see videos like this. I don't believe in hell, and I would never condemn someone to it that committed suicide. Not with how close I have been, no matter how good my life has been. It's a horrific, terrible, awful, impossible struggle to stay alive sometimes when you're depressed. I know that suicide affects the living, but then the living need to DO BETTER. (Not the kids of the parents, that's not what I mean) but those saying that depressed people just "decide" to leave and abandon their families, who maybe felt no other choice because society shuns and ostracizes "not positive" people.
Society needs to do better at helping the depressed, not shunning them. We get shunned our whole lives and even into the afterlife. What a bum deal.
I touch mental disorder toward the end. I appreciate the comment. My mother has MS, I feel you there. As I said, this is a tough subject. Also, I did mention that I do not have a mental disorder so it is impossible for me to understand. I state some things I think about when I go to that headspace myself.
"the living need to DO BETTER." 100% agree.
Yeah I did hear you say those things, and you're right, it is a tough subject.
I have just found that the more afflicted I am by things, the less harsh I am on people. Even in death. I never know what someone is going through so it's hard for me to judge them.
I appreciate you talking about this stuff too. I see that DLive didn't even touch my vid, and I usually get an upvote from them. If that doesn't speak volumes I don't know what does.
Steemit is a wonderful place, and I have enjoyed being on here, but there is also a lot of pressure to be happy-as-a-circus-fun-time positive all the time, and I just can't do it. That's why I left the main discord chats. It got too depressing to be the only one not sucking and stroking dick talking about how "blessed" we are and how great everything is.
I am not the type of person to bitch about everything, but I do like to see opportunity in things and make suggestions on changes. How else would we grow?
That and I have a very dark sense of humor that only few on here understand or accept. If nothing else, I can at least be myself, so that's a small upside.
Anyway, sorry if my response seemed rude, it has been a particularly difficult last couple of weeks for me, and I have been struggling really bad with my depression. And so when I hear vlogs like yours I just feel even more guilty for having the thoughts I have had, and the spiral continues.
I appreciated your comment and didn't get offended at all. I believe we all get opinions, if the herd doesn't like it, it doesn't matter. I appreciate your perspective, and yeah, this subject is no joke and cannot be looked at through rose colored glass. I hope when this establishment is rendered useless by technology, depression will be less frequent, and maybe, just maybe, we will figure out a real way to treat it. Also, to be frank, you are not one of "the weak" people I was talking about. I have no doubt in your darkest headspace, you did think of your kids or something (anything) that prevented you from going all the way.
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