Mom and dad

in #psychology2 years ago


[Iván el Terrible y su hijo, por Iliá Repin](By Ilya Repin - Own work, Public Domain, Link)
Why do we feel that the people closest to us are Mom and Dad?!
It is very interesting to observe the attitude of a person to his mothers and fathers. Since I do not believe in chance, I began to look for logic in this. Some may think that the reason is that there is a genetic connection between parents and children. Perhaps such a connection exists, just this, no one knows. Similar genes, so what. This is useful when you need a donor organ, but how this affects our lives. Yes, no how. There is no influence. We are completely different people. albeit with close DNA. Perhaps the relationship exists between the woman who gave birth to the child and the child. This is at least somehow explained. She was carrying, giving birth, nursing and raising. There is a connection, but is it so strong? For some, it is possible that it is very cap, but what explains this fortress, I think, definitely not genes, there must be something different here. There is no way to transfer information from one biological subject to another, only as through the senses, and they are known to all are on the surface of the body.
Let's understand what actually makes us so close. It makes some people very close, but others are on the contrary distant and not pleasant.
First, parents are very close to their children.
Secondly, parents have a huge impact on the perception and learning of their children.
Thirdly, it is related to recognizability, which is more difficult to implement, but everything is possible.
Fourthly, this is care or lack thereof.
Fifthly, it is attention.

With the first paragraph, I think everything is clear. From the very first minutes a person begins to recognize this world and under the untiring control of his parents. Whatever he wishes, all his desires are fulfilled by these people. On the second point, I would stop in more detail. It seems to me particularly interesting and has a huge impact on the relationship between parents and children. If you do not notice, then pay attention to how they begin to communicate with children. From the very beginning, it is necessary for them to determine who is important in their life. Otherwise, you can not tell them anything. This is done very simply. Even if you do not notice, you constantly program your child for mom and dad. This is done through constant repetition, phrases and words about the father and mother. And the frequency of mentioning parents in the first days and months, the highest in comparison, with the rest of the objects of the child's life. Therefore, as a rule, children pronounce the first words that are applicable or related to mother or father. If your speech started with the words of Mom and Dad, how can you forget this. Perhaps you do not remember, but your brain does not forget anything. There is no such function to wipe. Only record. We are beginning to build a life around our parents, which ultimately leads to a causal relationship between us.
In us, it must be laid down, at the initial stage, that is, it is protected in DNA clothing, such an ability as a difference. If we see the world, then we should distinguish it. In simple execution, we distinguish it by ear, smell, appearance, taste and touch. But in a more complex and advanced way, or if you want on a subtle level, there should be such an opportunity as a difference in sounds over timbre or intonation and so on. Such a gradation. It is also carried out by our brain and must be laid down at the initial stage of development, or in our DNA code. In general, our brain does a lot of computational work, because man can not even come close to its reproduction. So the way to distinguish or distinguish is a kind of calibration or adjustment of the device. Because, I think relatives should be like her, which makes us like relatives. We do not equally, but very closely perceive the world around us. In similar colors, colors, sounds, smells ... Even if your children differ from you in perception, something we will still determine the cause in the genes, but if not ours, then our ancestors. For example, grandfather was not bad and the granddaughter was all into him. All this makes us related "souls".

[The feet of Saint Guénolé (Winwaloe, Guignolé) statue, in a Prigny (Loire-Atlantique) chapel, are pierced with needles by local girls who hope to find their soulmates.](By No machine-readable author provided. Manproc assumed (based on copyright claims). - No machine-readable source provided. Own work assumed (based on copyright claims)., CC BY-SA 3.0, Link)
About care is also not worth much to say. From care all become close. Even hostages in time, I perceive my invaders not as enemies, but get sympathy for them. And about the brothers of our loved ones, there are many examples. All can be tamed, and therefore make a close, something native.

And a little about attention. What is attention is when you are perceived or made visible. Maybe you noticed that there are people like shadows, no one notices them and no one pays attention. Such people consider themselves the most unhappy and abandoned. Without attention, they simply do not exist. Really a problem. The person is, but there is no attention and the person perishes in a captivity of the ideas and conventions, considering, that it is not present, as nobody notices it. Such a person is forced to seek rapprochement with other people. Attention makes us human. It is the person of man who is doing the other person. Perhaps a complex thought for perception, but it is based on everything that is associated with the attention of one person to another. Attention, as if living water fills our body like a vessel. And the more this attention, the bigger a person we become.
Parents will not will, always pay attention to their children. Therefore, children though a small particle, but still receive attention from their parents. Although sometimes we do not like this attention, but still it would be even worse without him.
The most attention is required by popular people. These people eat attention. They live it. Attention and made them dependent on popularity.
I will summarize all of the above. Nothing special about our parents. But all that they do is aimed at bringing us closer. We are getting closer and becoming close and dear. Gradually day after day without noticing this, we grow and develop in the environment of these people and can not imagine the life of another. This is what makes for the abandoned children from the orphanage, Sunday afternoon, when their relatives come to the children, and no one comes to you, the most unbearable and unwanted day in their life. Because they know that no one will come to them, which means they are deprived of everything that we discussed earlier: attention, cares, akin to the "soul", the love of parents, mother and father, the correct perception and learning of the views of the world around us ... caring and helping ... native voices and just close people ... realizing that you are not alone in this world, but there is someone else who is the same as you ...

[Hall of the Educational House in Florence (1st half of the 15th century, architect F. Brunelleschi).](Автор: I, Sailko, CC BY-SA 3.0, Ссылка)

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