Provisional Self-Esteem

When our self-worth is based upon the approval of others, we are destined to feel inadequate

---

The concept of provisional self-esteem is something I was not aware of until a few years ago. I was on a podcast binge, consuming any material I found to be enlightening or eye-opening and was introduced to the work of former educator John Taylor Gatto.

Gatto was a two-time New York State teacher of the year, who accepted his second award by resigning from the field of education due to his belief that he was harming children more than he was helping them. His book, "Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling" is both edifying and disturbing, as it lays out to bare the true nature of modern schooling.

Perhaps the most eye-opening and paradigm-shifting portion of this book comes in the essay entitled "The Seven Lesson School-Teacher", wherein Gatto breaks down the unstated lessons that are being taught, mostly unbeknownst to both students and teachers.

One of these lessons is the concept of 'Provisional Self-Esteem'

---

In essence, provisional self-esteem is the idea that personal confidence can be gained only through the approval of 'experts'. We are not worthy or intelligent enough to gauge our own value and instead, we need to be told by someone else. Gatto sums up this point rather succinctly from his essay:

Self-evaluation, the staple of every major philosophical system that ever appeared on the planet, is never considered a factor. The lesson of report cards, grades, and tests is that children should not trust themselves or their parents but should instead rely on the evaluation of certified officials. People need to be told what they are worth.

The idea that a person must judge themselves based on the approval of others is a trap that sets one up for feelings of inadequacy, self-guilt, and an endless amount of comparison with our peers. Self-love or self-esteem which is independent of another source becomes a mythical concept and is often met with instant derision.

True self-esteem has internal roots

---

This idea is nothing new, as concepts of self-love and acceptance have become mainstream in recent years. It is encouraging to witness momentum being built towards a new paradigm, though it's still a very difficult thing for individuals to achieve.

When you've practiced looking to someone else for approval most of your life, the switch to relying on yourself for your self-esteem is not a simple or smooth process. It requires consistent awareness of our thought patterns and how these affect our emotional states. It necessitates that we stop caring about the opinion of others and forge our own path based on our unique experience and understanding.

It's quite scary to realize just how often we fall into worrying about what others think about our lives, both as a source of anxiety and pride. Shame is often rooted in our fear that others will look at our situation poorly.

On the flip side, it's interesting to observe how we become excited over accomplishing something simply so we can share our triumph with another person. It's as though we don't consider our accomplishment or positive experience 'real' until another person agrees with us or reaffirms our perspective.

Regardless of what we've been taught over the course of our life, it's important to remember that true self-esteem is built on a foundation of owning our feelings and basing them on our own perspective and judgment.

---

All uncredited pictures from pixabay.com or my personal account

If you received value from this post, I would gratefully appreciate your upvote

---

My Latest Posts

• What Awareness Means to Me: Answering the TribeSteemUp Bi-Weekly Question
• Simulatenous Opposing Thought Processes
• Getting the Boulder Rolling
• My First 24-Hour Fast

Classic Hits

• Can Oneness and Separation Co-Exist?
• Applying the George Costanza Philosophy
• Against the Grain: 30 Days on the Paleo Diet
• The Compartmentalization of the Mind
• Why I no Longer Use Facebook as my Primary Social Media