Getting the Boulder Rolling
I've been ruminating on an idea passed on to me by a writing teacher, a concept with real resonance
It's the concept of slowly and methodically pushing a boulder until it begins to move forward, the boulder representing an important task or goal we are currently focused on. The metaphor can apply to any seemingly impossible and intimidating act that appears daunting at first glance.
But when we achieve some level of movement, our resolve and confidence grow. We begin to see the act as something not out of the realm of reality, but instead as a tangible fact in front of our eyes.
It's no longer a fantasy or dream, it's actually happening. And it increases our conviction exponentially, as we can see the progress of our actions take hold.
Small movement leads to an unstoppable force
The act of building something, whether it's a house, a business, a healthy routine, or anything significant takes persistence and fortitude. It also requires staring into our own personal abyss, with all of the many doubts and trepidation that comes with it.
I've recently started the process of sending out writing queries to magazines and publications, as I'm seeking to start a freelance writing business, and I need to start the process of reaching out to as many sources as possible. It took me many weeks after taking a course on the business of writing to actually send out my first query.
Surprisingly, my second query received a response almost instantly, as the publication was interested in my idea for a story. They eventually decided against it, as they had already featured a similar story in one of their previous issues, but the experience was encouraging enough to motivate me to send out many more.
Today, I received my first greenlight on a query. Though the piece will be written on spec, which means there's no guarantee of payment if they decide not to run it, it was my first real notch towards my ultimate goal. Finally, I felt the weight of the boulder shift, wobbling slightly forward before settling back into place.
We're not rolling yet, but it has begun
Receiving interest on a query has given me a boost of confidence to continue seeking out opportunities and to strive for my ultimate goal of having a fully sustainable freelance writing career. Minor movement towards a goal, no matter how small, should never be underestimated.
Often, the most difficult part of any project is getting past our own self-doubt that it's actually attainable. It turns out, we might not be totally crazy for being somewhat ambitious and that our goal isn't just some pipedream destined to sit in mental limbo, torturing us with endless 'what ifs' since we could never actually transcend the doubting stage.
I certainly am not saying I've blown past my doubts and am free to fully pursue my goals unbound by my personal itty-bitty-shitty-committee. Even after my small victory, my mind immediately began to question my ability to pull off the story, bringing me back into the loop of uncertainty. Doubt is going to be a part of the process, one that I'm beginning to embrace instead of resist.
The boulder's not rolling yet, but I've moved it enough to make me believe I'll eventually get there. And when you're staring at an insurmountable task, it is a major achievement to be relished.
All uncredited pictures from pixabay.com or my personal account
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May your boulder roll off so fast that you would not get to know when it arrived to the top of the hills :)
Exactly, "what if's" are the worst enemy of us. Apart from all the mocking we get from people around us who themselves are strangled in 'what if'