Expectations Are Not Your Friend
Expectations are our mind's way of predicting how the future will go and it's never in our best interest
Our mind hates uncertainty. We like to know the outcome of future events prior to when the moment arrives.
We also like to judge how we think things will go prior to actually experiencing the event. We place stiff, stringent thoughts upon moments that have yet to pass because we think we're intuitive enough to know what the outcome will be.
When we expect something out of someone or a particular situation, we leave little room for a different outcome. We close ourselves off to the possibilities, both good and bad.
Simply put, expectations are not your friend
Disappointment is the product of expecting one thing and receiving another. When a friend tells us they'll meet us for coffee and cancels at the last minute, we understandably feel upset and let down. This is the result of attaching ourselves to a given expectation, only to have things play out another way.
Reality is often much different than our expectation of it. The truth is, no matter how intuitive we believe ourselves to be, we can't predict the future.
Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed. You'll leave room for the moment to pass as it is, never dwelling on what you thought it was going to be.
“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.” - Brandon Sanderson
Existing without any expectations of the future is incredibly difficult, and takes practice on a daily basis. It's a constant struggle to reign in your mind's need to control the uncontrollable.
But it's worth the struggle because living with intense and unrealistic expectations are an unnecessary burden. Life is fluid, constantly evolving and shifting.
When you cease to expect, you give in to the flow. Your life is a product of each step, each breath, seamlessly moving from each moment to the next. When you stop expecting what will come next, you are much more prepared to deal with the reality in front of you.
And that's reason enough to give your expectations a rest.
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It is true that expectations are a natural human tendency of approaching things which are uncertain or do not conform to what they know. The primary reason is the way in which we humans understand things. We like to put things into boxes and categories which are in turn, derived from repetitive patterns. Anything which falls into the box with the correct pattern pleases us. Anything that doesn't, displeases. Then comes the third variant of the unknown. We humans are so afraid of being unable to categorise it, that we hate it.
Expectations are not bad for they are the way in which we recognise the world around us. However, they sure are the way to displeasure as well since not everything occurs as predicted. However, if you're aiming for pleasure, displeasure is simply a risk that is involved. However, letting your expectations rule you is a very fatal mistake. As in everything, Moderation is key. The point is, not to not expect, but to not be disappointed when things don't go the way you expected them.
Buddha taught us that the middle path is the right path. Middle path is the balancing point, it is a condition of attaining equilibrium. Don't let expectation to master yourself. Don't let everything to happen freely as everything cannot be right and just. Take a balanced approach. This is what I experienced so far in my life.
I always say that expectation is the mother of all dissapointment. I really have learnt to be more realistic with life, and from experience you're absolutely right
Expectations are not bad but excess of everything is bad.