DTube Coffee Shop Chat: My Solution To Social Anxiety | D.Chat EP. 26
Episode 26: My Solution To Social Anxiety
I attended my grandfather's funeral service yesterday and it was quite a beautiful experience.
Not only because of the fact that we were celebrating my grandfather and the full life he lived...
But also because I was able to reconnect with many relatives whom I have not seen for some time.
My father's side of the family has broken up over the years due to various disputes and it was truly inspiring to see how my grandfather's death really brought us all together.
As much as death and loss can be difficult, ironically enough, it certainly does bring a sense of life to things.
I will be honest, I was a bit anxious about attending this event.
I was anxious because 1) I didn't know what to expect at all, considering our family's current state of affairs, and 2) In the past I've really struggled with social anxiety in large social settings (especially involving family).
Thus, with those two things at play I knew it was going to be an interesting experience
And interestingly enough...
The experience played out in a completely different way than I was expecting.
I found that I was very much present and engaged for the entire time.
I felt at ease and comfortable in my skin, which was truly a wonderful place to be.
I've discovered why I felt the way I felt, and in this video, I wanted to share with you what made the difference for me!
Episode 25: Share Your Retro Reel!
It happened! I have officially hit 1,000 followers!
And I decided to celebrate with a community-wide challenge!
Can you remember the first video you ever created?
What about the second, or third?
What was that like?
Was it a great experience?
An absolute fail?
A learning experience?
Life altering?
Life affirming?
Unfortunate?
Ridiculous?
Hilarious?
I challenge you to share your retro videos!
The first videos that you ever created. The ones that stood out to you as significant, funny, crazy, terrible, incredible, etc, etc.
In this video, I share three of my retro videos from different points in my life and share my thoughts about how they shaped my creative process.
PS: Thank You For 1,000 Followers!
PPS: Yes that's my Dad In The Vid!
Click the image below to watch!
Episode 24: My Adventure To Milwaukee
I traveled back home to Milwaukee this weekend.
And I'm excited to introduce to y'all, my partner in creative madness...
My brother @zakflessas!!!
In this vlog I make my way to Milwaukee from Austin!
Want to learn my D.Tube strategies?
If so, click the GIF below now!
Thanks for stopping by!
▶️ DTube
▶️ IPFS
Can you remember the first video you ever created?
What about the second, or third?
What was that like?
Was it a great experience?
An absolute fail?
A learning experience?
Life altering?
Life affirming?
Unfortunate?
Ridiculous?
Hilarious?
I challenge you to share your retro videos!
The first videos that you ever created. The ones that stood out to you as significant, funny, crazy, terrible, incredible, etc, etc.
In this video, I share three of my retro videos from different points in my life and share my thoughts about how they shaped my creative process.
PS: Thank You For 1,000 Followers!
PPS: Yes that's my Dad In The Vid!
Click the image below to watch!
Episode 24: My Adventure To Milwaukee
I traveled back home to Milwaukee this weekend.
And I'm excited to introduce to y'all, my partner in creative madness...
My brother @zakflessas!!!
In this vlog I make my way to Milwaukee from Austin!
Want to learn my D.Tube strategies?
If so, click the GIF below now!
Thanks for stopping by!
▶️ DTube
▶️ IPFS
What was that like?
Was it a great experience?
An absolute fail?
A learning experience?
Life altering?
Life affirming?
Unfortunate?
Ridiculous?
Hilarious?
I challenge you to share your retro videos!
The first videos that you ever created. The ones that stood out to you as significant, funny, crazy, terrible, incredible, etc, etc.
In this video, I share three of my retro videos from different points in my life and share my thoughts about how they shaped my creative process.
PS: Thank You For 1,000 Followers!
PPS: Yes that's my Dad In The Vid!
Click the image below to watch!
Episode 24: My Adventure To Milwaukee
I traveled back home to Milwaukee this weekend.
And I'm excited to introduce to y'all, my partner in creative madness...
My brother @zakflessas!!!
In this vlog I make my way to Milwaukee from Austin!
Want to learn my D.Tube strategies?
If so, click the GIF below now!
Thanks for stopping by!
▶️ DTube
▶️ IPFS
What was that like?
Was it a great experience?
An absolute fail?
A learning experience?
Life altering?
Life affirming?
Unfortunate?
Ridiculous?
Hilarious?
I challenge you to share your retro videos!
The first videos that you ever created. The ones that stood out to you as significant, funny, crazy, terrible, incredible, etc, etc.
In this video, I share three of my retro videos from different points in my life and share my thoughts about how they shaped my creative process.
PS: Thank You For 1,000 Followers!
PPS: Yes that's my Dad In The Vid!
Click the image below to watch!
In this video, I share three of my retro videos from different points in my life and share my thoughts about how they shaped my creative process.
PS: Thank You For 1,000 Followers!
PPS: Yes that's my Dad In The Vid!
Click the image below to watch!
Episode 24: My Adventure To Milwaukee
I traveled back home to Milwaukee this weekend.
And I'm excited to introduce to y'all, my partner in creative madness...
My brother @zakflessas!!!
My brother @zakflessas!!!
In this vlog I make my way to Milwaukee from Austin!
Want to learn my D.Tube strategies?
If so, click the GIF below now!
Thanks for stopping by!
▶️ DTube
▶️ IPFS
Want to learn my D.Tube strategies?
If so, click the GIF below now!
Still keeping it real, I love it.
When you were talking about pro-active vs reactive, Ive often used this analogy, for reacting and responding. People tend to interchange these words synonymously, but think of it this way;
The doctor says that you're responding to the medication.
The doctor says that you're reacting to the medication.
When I was a kid, I used to go to a place in WA called Serpentine falls. There is a huge waterfall there that pours into a very deep reservoir and we used to jump off it. There would usually be about 10-12 peeps queued up waiting to jump, us regulars, as soon as it was clear below would just jump. Those who walked to the edge, and kept looking down, I'd find, if they waited any more than a minute, they would never jump.
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Love your work brother
Peace.
Amazing how that works! The mind can be so damn convincing. Best to just ignore it sometimes and get straight to the heart of the matter ;-) Great thoughts here @bobaphet, thank you for sharing brother :)
Hey Axios, thanks so much for sharing that experience and insight. You always come out with inspiring content. I'm glad I followed you!
Firstly, I'm sorry about your grandfather. You didn't mention whether you were close to him but it's always hard to lose a family member and I'm sorry for your loss.
As for the situation, you had a really interesting approach. I also tend to avoid dynamic social situations as I'm better with smaller groups and one-on-one meetings. I rarely open a conversation with anyone at parties or family events. Your video has made me realise how much I tend to passively wait for people to come to me, meaning that I allow myself to be moulded by the situation rather than being an active participant and contributing to shape the group dynamics myself. I can see how making the effort to talk to people would give you a rush of energy in return, as I'm sure that's how I react (giving energy back) when people make the effort to talk to me. Lots of food for thought here!
Just one question - do you think that it's sustainable in the long term to go against your natural impulses like that? I mean it seems almost like taking a cold shower. The water is totally repulsive and scary until you're in there, then it's invigorating, but it's hard to take that first plunge. But once you do, it's a positive cycle.... Maybe I answered my own question there. :D
Lol you definitely answered your own question there haha. But yes I was going to say that IMO, it's extremely benefiical to challenge your "natural" patterns because honestly, they might not be even natural at all! These could be learned patterns, fears you hide on a subconscious level, or maybe just unknowns that seem worse than they really are. I'm naturally more laid back and introverted but that doesn't mean I can't be the opposite. I think that labels are nice but when they inhibit experiences, then its time to throw them out!
Thank you so much for the kind words regarding my grandfather. He was a wonderful man and I was able to celebrate his life this past weekend which felt really nice to do.
Always a pleasure to read your comments on here. Thanks for stopping by @victoria-kelly :)
THIS! So much this! I am experiencing something similar in a relationship I currently have where we agreed to be 100% honest about everything. So whenever I do something I would normally hide from someone I'm in a relationship with, I just call her up and tell her right away. This makes it so much easier to stay honest because it's a habit at this point rather than a choice.
This kind of makes me think of it as: kill the fear when it's a baby and it can't grow up to terrorize you ... lol. Or to phrase it more positively: befriend the fear before it grows to scary and it will grow into something you understand instead of something you fear.
I love those last quotes you share. Fear definitely is like a baby that just needs a little milk to become cute again hahaha. Awesome to hear that you're playing with authentically relating in that way. Sounds like a super cool approach. Looking forward to diving more into this on the live stream!
Hola Axios! If you are still struggling with social anxiety, first know that it can be totally eradicated. I had it really badly (was suicidal and barely left the house) but no longer have any remnants. Hopefully you'll see evidence when I start my DTube channel soon ;-)
For now though, I'll just say this - don't focus on tips for coping with it, focus on totally ERADICATING it. It's a big mind shift and most people who have anxiety problems don't think this way, so remain stuck with dealing with the issue when it gets bad instead of it never again getting bad.
I recommend researching every day in different methods and try them out. I used hypnotherapy and it cured me in 1 HOUR! I also did CBT for a few weeks, which helped to make sure it will never come back again. There's no guarantee these things will work as everyone is different but I highly recommened trying alternative therapies till you find one that works for you. Reiki is another good one that I know works.
Totally agree with facing your fears by the way, but it's much easier to do that once you are in a better place mentally. The therapies I mention will do that. I now go through life with no major anxieties and if I feel any anxiety pangs (rare) I understand how to quickly work through them because of CBT and THEN I just face the fear.
Feel free to ask if you ever want any advice on the subject (same for anyone reading).
Hasta luego!
@timothyphoenix wow it's great to connect man! I've had similar experiences as yourself. I definitely feel like having those experiences are the best way to learn how to overcome them and help others to do so as well.
I agree with the concept of avoiding coping with what you are feeling. That's essentially avoidance as it suggests that this thing you are experiencing is a permanent thing when in reality is very transient, dynamic, and useful once you discover the root cause!
I frequently utilize NLP, Neuro-Semantics, and other psychotherapy methods to help work through these types of things. Hypnotherapy hasn't been as effective for me but I've done it on friends and clients before and it's been quite helpful for them!
Awesome to hear that CBT has been effective for you as well. That's one thing I haven't explored much.
Looking forward to seeing your content man. Seems like we have similar interests! Thanks for the awesome comment. Cheers bro!
Seriously man, you gotta do CBT. I always recommend to do CBT even if something else is working, because it will give you the tools for LIFE which will prevent anxiety ever coming back. Don't even wait, go and book a session if you can. I live in the UK and it was free where I live, online too, don't even have to speak to anyone!
If you can afford it, try an energy healing session - Reiki is the most well known energy healing technique. It's quite an experience and if you feel it, it may even change your entire world view! Go into it open minded and relaxed and it is more likley to work.
Good luck!
It was very striking to think just how much I find myself trying to fit myself into situations often and my track record for accurately reading other people's emotions has left me feeling quite anxious to find if I struck the right chord. While I have noticed the people pleasing tendencies within me for years, I am finally working to address it head on and be confident in who I am.
Removing the fear of anticipation by initiating a conversation is a great reaffirming activity, and when engaging with others, there's not time to be analyzing how people are perceiving you. I am committing daily to impacting what I have power over: the actions I complete to support the beliefs that I hold. I know there are plenty who can see my value and there's no one who sees it more than myself. Thanks @axios
Well said @thedreamsteem. It certainly is a battle to overcome the people pleasing tendencies, especially if you're an empath.
This is the truth! The ones who see your value are the ones worth keeping around :)
nice video dude! keep up ♥ Good to have you on board of Dtube :)
Thank you @bhnproduction :)
Yes! That's it ma man! If fear presents itself, you should go towards it. What i would add is that as soon as the fear is there, count 3,2,1 and DO IT! The longer you wait, the likelier you are going to procrastinate because your mind comes up with a lot of stupid things that prevents you from doing it.
Thank you for sharing this message with us brother :)
Winny out...for now ;)
3, 2, 1 I like that! Fully agree, the less you think the better. So much easier when you're moving towards it :)
Hey brotha! Congrats on overcoming that! And condolences to you and your family, man. We're thinking of having a meet-up for dtubers at Niagara Falls. You anywhere in the area by any chance?
upvoted #onelove #dtube
Hey @phototutorials, really appreciate the kind words here. I wish I was in the area! I'm from texas so not quite in the area. Thanks for reaching out though!
I've always wanted to visit Texas :) for sure one day in the future man! I just made a vide about it
Yup - there's very little difference between the physical feelings of fear and excitement. It's just the meaning you give it in any moment.
Agreed @eftnow! We are the meaning makers.
Yo, Axious! Good on ya for taking a proactive approach to tackling these things. A lot of others would've just retreated back into their comfort zone.
Take it easy!
I appreciate you bro!