shatter - a poem
I must give you
a new name
One whose sound
doesn't shatter me
-*-
Hello everyone!
It's strange how you can write a poem that feels so resonant at the time but later on feels so distant?
I feel like this poem is one of those for me. I wrote it in the middle of the night while trying to make sense of a terrible situation. I literally felt "shattered" when I had to talk about this person. It was like the sound of their name vibrated a cord in my body, shifting sharp and tangled things around.
But so much has changed for me in the last few years, including how my body processes strong emotions. Because of the rehabilitation program I'm on for my brain injury, I in general feel like I have a cooler, more flexible head. I feel softer and stronger at the same time.
So when I read this poem now, I don't really remember how it feels in my body. I can imagine feeling hurt over something but I can't imagine the shattered feeling.
My partner has expressed noticing this difference in me as well. In the past, when I was upset about something she said she used to hear this kind of tremble in my voice all the time. She says it was heartbreaking. She hasn't heard that tone for so long.
I still like this poem very much. It feels accurate for what was going on for me. But I'm not sad that I feel a bit more emotionally removed from it!
I hope you're having a good day! I'm finally going to paint this afternoon!
xo
Ciel
I kinda know what you mean, with how time changes how we perceive experiences... But I like this poem because it resonates well with a lot of people, I think. How certain words, names, or even phrasing, can really break our hearts as they trigger a memory of an injury....
I'm glad, though, that it no longer is an intense pang for you :) Beautiful poetry, as always, Ciel <3
Thank you. xo I'm so glad to be at a different place in my life.
A brief but quite moving poetry!
It does make me realize of many scenarios with obvious dead ends.
Normally we are never able to switch off our emotions(it can be exception for some) so even naming something else(hypothetically) or trying be totally immune to that person does not seem to work.
I also believe that TIME is a very strong entity and it can influence many things and in your case with the passage of time you somehow got immune to that specific emotional effect but what if even in couple of months you are not able to minimize that effect no matter how hard you try
Thank you! My brain rehabilitation has taught me that with enough practice, I can shift whatever emotional state I want. It takes time and persistence, but I have experienced an amazing ability to shift through emotions that I never would have thought was possible before DNRS.
The poem, as well as your post, is powerful.
May you never have to feel shattered again.
Thank you!
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I understand your feeling. We all have such situations in life.
Paint and enjoy!
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Perception is everything, isn't it? I think I know what you mean because things change over time, especially as we grow in ourselves and as we look at the world in a different manner. Having been injured and perhaps unable to process as you do now would make a huge difference. I'm so glad that you can look at these words without trepidation, and can only remember how helpless you felt, knowing that you feel much stronger now.
Congratulations I'm having moved away from that place.
Thank you!
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